The Momentum Conservation Part I: Action and Reaction
by allanjay
Summary: Takes place immediately after the end of 8:24, the season 8 finale. Begins with Leonard and Penny in the car headed to Las Vegas, and takes off from there.
1. Chapter 1

Leonard and Penny drove on through the night in awkward silence. After fifteen minutes of quiet tension, Leonard broke the stillness with a soft "Uh, oh."

"What is it?" asked Penny.

"The check engine light came on, and I can see the temperature gauge rising. I think we may have a blown radiator hose."

"Surprised you know what that is," Penny exclaimed, a little cruelly. "How fast is the temperature rising?"

"Pretty fast. It's already into the red. I think we need to get to a service station. I'll take the next exit; I think it's coming up soon."

"So long as we don't see any steam or smoke from the hood, or the exhaust, I think we're all right," Penny offered, remembering her father's warnings from her teenage years.

As if on cue, Leonard pointed to the hood, where a few lines of steam seemed to be rising. "Famous last words. I think we have to pull over and call AAA. I don't want to blow a head gasket."

"Again, surprised you know that," Penny repeated.

"To be honest, I have no idea what it means, but I've heard it in the same breath as a blown hose," admitted Leonard. He pulled over to the breakdown lane, put on his flashers, and called AAA.

"Forty five minutes to an hour, they say," he informed Penny. "What shall we do? Wanna play a road game?"

Penny snorted, then reconsidered. "Sure. Let's play How Stupid."

"I don't know that one," Leonard said cautiously.

"OK, I'll start. I ask, you answer. First question: How stupid do you have to be to kiss a girl while you're off on a four-month expedition and your girlfriend is sitting at home lonely and missing you and she just told you she loves you?"

Leonard sighed. "All right, I get it. Very stupid. Very, very stupid."

Penny snickered. "Second question: How stupid do you have to be to _not tell_ your girlfriend that you kissed another girl for _two frigging years_ and then tell her while you're on the way to get married."

Leonard groaned. "Way too stupid for words. Look, Penny, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I made a terrible mistake – very, very stupid, OK – and then compounded it by not telling you."

"And _why_ exactly did you not tell me for two years? I find that even more disturbing than the kissing, to be honest."

"I was scared, just scared," Leonard admitted. "I thought you might break up with me and I couldn't face that thought. So I told myself it was no big deal. But it kept eating me up inside. I knew it was wrong but I didn't know how to make it right."

Penny paused. "Some things can't be made right; what's done is done. But at least you can be honest. You needed to trust me, to trust that I would listen to you and not run away screaming at the first hint of a problem. And I wouldn't have. But the fact that you didn't trust me makes me really angry. Two years of secret-keeping gives me a lot to think about. Not to speak of your bringing the issue up as we were on the way to get married."

"I understand, I truly do," Leonard said sadly. "I only hope you can find a way to forgive me so we can move on. I was looking forward to getting to a new place, to getting married."

"Maybe the car is telling us not to get married tonight. But let's not make any major decisions right yet," Penny concluded. "I need to process all this, and now is not really the time." Although her anger had subsided a bit in the face of Leonard's regret, she was still seething at his timing. Jerk.


	2. Chapter 2

Flashing lights behind them told them the tow truck was there. The operator looked under the hood and confirmed that a radiator hose was torn and about to blow. He hooked the car up, and the two of them got into the cab with the driver.

"I'm going to take it to a service station up here in Barstow," the driver said. "Leave a note on the windshield explaining and with your number. Jimmy opens at 7 AM, even on Saturdays. You can call him around 7.30 and find out. It should be a quick fix, no fancy parts and there's an Autozone across town."

"Thanks," said Leonard. "Listen, is there a motel we can stay at nearby?"

"The Barstow Inn's about fifteen minutes from the shop. Nothing fancy but it's cheap enough. I can take you there after we drop the car," offered the driver.

"That's great," said Leonard, "thanks a lot."

They left Leonard's car at the shop, took their bag out of the trunk, drove another fifteen or twenty minutes, and got dropped at the Barstow Inn. Leonard peeled off two twenties and tipped the driver, who thanked him and drove away.

The motel was one of the old-style single-story jobs with parking in front of each room's door. The office was off to the right; Penny and Leonard went in. Behind the desk was a huge dark-haired man, easily 6'5" and 250 pounds, probably in his early 40s. They approached the desk.

"Can I help you?" the desk clerk asked.

"We need a room for the night, please."

"No problem. I'm the manager, Donny," he said. He looked Penny up and down appreciatively, something Leonard was used to but that still made him uncomfortable and a little angry. "I can give you 27, it's down at the other end. Nice and quiet. We're not too crowded," he said, which seemed an exaggeration – there were only four or five cars parked in front of rooms.

The manager ran Leonard's credit card and gave them two keys. "Let me know if you need anything," he called after them as they walked out.

They walked slowly down past the other rooms to one of the very last ones in the row. It was relatively clean, with two queen beds. Penny sank exhausted into one of them.

"I'm tired." She felt her anger start to return as she stared at the ceiling and stewed.

"I was hoping we could talk some more," Leonard said tentatively. "I want to know what I can do to make it better."

"Not in the mood, Leonard," Penny said harshly. She was truly angry again now. "We'll deal with it tomorrow."

"OK," Leonard said miserably. "I know I screwed up, but you have to know how much I love you." Penny said nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

Leonard's phone alarm went off the next morning at 7 AM. He waited a half hour, then called the shop. The news was good: the part was easy to get, there was nothing wrong but the hose, and he could come by to pick up the car around 11 AM.

Penny was still asleep, but Leonard was hungry. He showered and walked down to the office. He was surprised to see Donny still there.

"Don't you ever sleep?" Leonard kidded.

"On weekends, I go off at midnight and come back on at 8 AM," Donny explained. "Hard to get good help around here." Leonard nodded.

"Anyplace nearby with a decent breakfast and coffee?" he asked.

"There's a donut shop down about three blocks, on the left. And there's a coffee maker in the room."

"No coffee, though," Leonard noted.

"Sorry about that; housekeeping's supposed to keep it stocked." And Donny handed Leonard two packets of coffee for the in-room coffee maker.

"Can you give me the number of a taxi? I need to go pick up my car." Leonard said.

"Sure," Donny replied, handing Leonard a card he had on the desk

Leonard walked down to the donut shop, bought a half dozen good-looking donuts, and went back to the room. He made himself a pot of coffee and read the paper on his phone. Penny was still sound asleep. She could sleep through just about anything, and more or less forever. Leonard was sorry not to be able to talk, not to have a chance to apologize once more and ask for Penny's forgiveness, but he figured there would be time.

At 10.30 AM Leonard called the mechanic and confirmed the car was available. He made a fresh pot of coffee for Penny, and gently shook her.

"Honey, I'm going to pick up the car. There's coffee and some donuts here if you want them."

"Good," Penny said, sitting up slowly. "I need coffee."

Leonard called a taxi and waited while Penny silently started on her coffee and a donut. It was clear that she still was not in the mood to talk to Leonard. The taxi arrived after about ten minutes; Leonard left the room, shaking his head sadly, walked to the taxi and got in, and the car headed out to the service station.

Donny watched the taxi drive up from inside his office. He waited for it to pull away, closed the blinds in the office, then strolled down to room 27 and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" came the voice from inside.

"Donny, from the office. Your card got rejected. I need you to come down to the office to try another card."

After a moment Penny opened the door a crack. She was barely halfway through her coffee and donut, but answered quickly. "Just let me get decent, and get my purse," she said, closing the door. A few minutes later, she emerged and accompanied Donny to the office as he looked at his watch.

The two of them stepped into the office. Penny felt a little uncomfortable as Donny closed the door behind them. The office was a lot darker than she remembered. There was a front area with the registration counter, then a room in back, with the door open and a desk in it.

Donny said, "Just come into the back office here and I'll take the new card."

Penny followed him into the back office, a little reluctantly. Donny gestured for her to wait in front of the desk. He said, "The card your 'friend' gave me got rejected," he said, with air quotes around the word "friend," which Penny found puzzling, not to mention irritating. "You got another one?"

Penny opened her wallet to look for a card, but before she could do anything, the bell in the front office rang and the front door opened. Donny swore under his breath and left the back room, closing the door behind him. Penny heard voices in front. One seemed to be speaking Spanish, the other some mixture of English and pidgin Spanish. Donny came back a few minutes later, muttering something about the stupid housekeeper.

Penny reached back into her purse to get her wallet, but before she could Donny grabbed the purse and dropped it to the floor. "You won't be needing that," he said, and pushed her up against the wall of the office.

"What the hell?!" Penny said.

"Come on, baby, time to settle up," Donny said.

"Get away from me!" Penny said much more loudly, as she struggled to get out of his grip. Donny grabbed her wrists to keep her from hitting him. But Penny was not about to go down without a fight. She kicked at his shins, then tried to aim for a more delicate spot. But Donny was too strong, and too big.

Donny let go with one hand and stepped back toward the desk a bit. Penny swung a fist into his stomach. The huge man looked amused and brought his free hand back, now with a wet cloth in it. He clamped the cloth over Penny's nose and mouth, holding his other forearm against her chest so she could barely move. Penny twisted her head from side to side but Donny was simply too strong.

The cloth smelled sweet to Penny, as she struggled to get free, kicking at Donny's legs and feet. After about a minute of struggling she felt herself getting dizzy and weak. Donny kept the cloth on her mouth for another few minutes as Penny's legs started to give out. As she slid to the floor she heard the front door bell ring again and a knocking, as Donny swore once more and walked out, closing the door to the office behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

After closing the back office behind him, Donny unlocked the front door. An elderly couple stood there expectantly.

"We're full," Donny said. "Try the Holiday Inn over by the Interstate."

The couple looked doubtful, scanning the nearly empty parking lot, but turned away.

Donny looked back at the door behind which he had left Penny, turned the sign on the front door around so that it read "Closed," and headed back to the rear office. He stopped and thought, then stepped around the front counter and flipped the switch to turn on the "No Vacancy" sign.

When Donny returned to the back room, Penny was sitting up and trying to stand. "You bastard," she hissed.

Donny laughed. "You won't be able to stand for a few more minutes. And if you try anything else I'll just do it again; I've got plenty of chloroform where that came from. Listen to me: don't do anything stupid and you won't get hurt. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, and believe me, you don't want to do it the hard way."

"My boyfriend will be back here in ten minutes!" Penny gasped. She could barely talk above a whisper, and wondered when she would get enough of her voice back to scream.

"Oh, your 'boyfriend,'" said Donny, with more air quotes. "More like an hour. And then he won't know where you are. We have plenty of time. Like I say, we can do this the easy way." And Donny walked past the still-weak woman to a door on the other side of the back office. He pushed it open and Penny saw a small bedroom, presumably where the night clerk slept when on duty.

"We do our business, you get back to your 'boyfriend,' and nobody needs to know. Simple and easy."

"I'll call the police, you son of a bitch," Penny tried to sound tough but her voice was still barely wheezing.

"Police!" Donny gave a harsh laugh. "It'll be your word against mine. And guess what: my brother is the chief of police here. Most of my rooms rent to LA hookers and their johns anyway. I'll just say you and your client came in last night and you came by later to pay for the room in kind. You'll be lucky not to get charged with soliciting."

By now Penny could feel her strength returning. She didn't want this predator to know she was feeling better, so she feigned wooziness as she looked around the room. There weren't any windows she could reach, and they were far too small to climb out anyway. Donny was between her and the door to the front office. She searched for something she could use as a weapon, and saw a baseball bat lying in the corner behind the desk – probably something the night clerks kept for self-defense. Penny decided that was her best bet.

Pretending to be weaker than she was, Penny stood and attempted to look dazed. She staggered a little and half fell past the desk. Donny stood looking at her in amusement. As Penny rounded the desk she suddenly picked up speed and grabbed the bat. But Donny was too fast for her.

"You bitch!" he snarled. His face contorted in rage as he grabbed the bat and pushed Penny hard to the floor. He dropped the bat and sat on Penny with all his weight as he reached for the cloth and a small bottle on the desk. Penny continued to hit at him with her fists, but he ignored her. He re-wet the cloth and once more pressed it to Penny's mouth and nose. Again Penny felt herself get weaker after a couple of minutes, gradually less able to move. Just as she felt she might pass out, Donny removed the cloth from her mouth, picked her up, carried her into the bedroom, and dumped her on the bed.

"You don't listen, do you?" he growled. "I told you to make it easy. You don't want the hard way. Let me tell you, there are guys I know in Colombia who would give me 25 grand for a pretty white girl like you. You want to wake up tomorrow in Medellín?"

Penny groaned and tried to shake herself awake. She looked around the bedroom and again saw nothing that could help her. She was desperate. All she could think was that if she stalled for time, maybe Leonard would return and realize something was wrong. But when would Leonard get back? And how would he know where she was?

Donny towered over her. "OK, let's get this show on the road."

Penny was alert enough now to respond. "At least let me go to the bathroom. I really have to pee. You don't want me to do it in the bed, do you?"

Donny paused, a little startled. He looked warily at Penny, then at the bathroom.

"All right," he said hesitantly. "But leave the door open. No funny business."

Penny sat up in bed, realizing that she was again stronger than she looked. She shook her head, appearing to be dizzy. She got up shakily, exaggerating her staggering, and slowly walked toward the bathroom. She stepped in, then leaned back against the sink as if she needed support. In fact she was looking to see how the bathroom door locked. It was a simple push-button. Not too strong, the giant would break it down easily, but maybe there was something sharp in the bathroom.

Penny turned unsteadily as if to head to the toilet, then quickly spun around, slammed the door shut, and pushed in the lock. She heard Donny curse again.

"You think I can't get in there? You're just making me angrier," the thug shouted at her.

Penny looked quickly around the bathroom. There was nothing sharp or even large in the small half-bath – no towel holder, no razor. And there was only a small window a good six feet up.

She tried to yell a little, but all that came out was a soft "Help! Help me!" She doubted anyone but Donny could hear her.

She heard Donny's footsteps approaching the door quickly, then the entire wall shook as he put all his weight into the door to try to break it down. The door shuddered but the lock held. Penny was white with fear. She knew the door couldn't withstand more than a few of these blows. Donny rammed his shoulder into the door again, shouting at her. Then another blow, and the door began to crack around the doorknob. Donny swore again; at least his shoulder would be sore. But after a few moments came another huge blow, and the door cracked a little bit more. Penny backed away from the door toward the toilet, gripping the sink tightly in terror. She heard Donny walk back to begin one more run at the door. She was pretty sure this would be the last one. She prepared for the worst.


	5. Chapter 5

Leonard was in and out Jimmy's service station in under five minutes. The repair was simple, and relatively cheap, and Jimmy seemed reliable. He started the drive back to the motel relieved, but as soon as he thought of what awaited him he began to sweat. How had he messed up their relationship so badly, yet again? All that he wanted was for Penny to know how much she meant to him, how much he wanted to spend his life with her. And in a moment of candor he had made her feel cheated upon and lied to. Great going, idiot, he said to himself.

Leonard parked in front of room 27 and walked in. "Penny?" he called. He noticed the half-eaten donut and half-finished cup of coffee. Curious, he thought; Penny never left a donut uneaten or coffee unfinished. He felt the cup. It was lukewarm. "Penny?" he called again, looking in the bathroom. Confusing.

He walked back out to the car. The motel was deserted. He looked over to the office and noticed that the blinds were shut, and the lights were out; a sign on the door read "Closed." Strange to have a motel office closed in the middle of the day. Off to the right, by the road, Leonard saw the neon "No Vacancy" sign lit. Again, this seemed bizarre: the motel was practically empty.

Leonard walked over to the office. There didn't seem to be anyone there. He walked around to the side of the building and around back, looking for some sign of life. Nothing.

Suddenly, Leonard thought he heard an angry voice. It was muffled, but it sounded like Donny. And then his hair stood on end as he heard a voice he would always recognize say softly, "Help! Help me!" Leonard looked up and saw a small window. At that moment he heard a large bang, as if somebody had dropped a large table.

Leonard stood stock still, trying to absorb it all. He didn't really know what was happening, but he knew that Penny was crying for help. He thought quickly and ran back to the car, popping the trunk as he approached it. He quickly reached into the spare compartment and pulled out the tire iron. It was straight with a bend for the socket wrench on one end, and a prying chisel on the other. Not much of a weapon, but it was all Leonard could think of.

He ran quickly back to the office, rang the doorbell and banged on the door. There was no answer, but again he heard a loud bang coming from the back. He took the tire iron and used the prying tip to jimmy open the door. Leonard walked into the front office and looked around. It was dark and there was no sound. He stood there for a few moments, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting and hoping to get some indication of what was going on.

Suddenly, Leonard saw the enormous frame of the motel manager come running out of the back office at full speed. Leonard stepped back in shock, positive that there was no way he could inflict any meaningful damage to this monster. But at least he could go down trying, and maybe buy Penny some time.


	6. Chapter 6

Donny was rearing back for one more run at the bathroom door when he heard the front doorbell ring. He gave the door a quick shove and knew that the door jamb was close to buckling. But then he heard the clash of metal on metal from the front office, and realized that somebody was trying to get in. He swore, yet again, and slowly looked out to see what was happening. It might just be another customer, he thought. He walked quietly to the door between the bedroom and the back office, but couldn't see anyone. He slithered around the door opening so as not to be seen, and peeked out to the front.

As he peered up front, Donny spotted Leonard standing hesitantly at the entrance. He made his decision quickly: the best defense is a good offense. Donny took off at full speed toward the little city boy. He could easily knock him out, and later argue that he was only reacting to an obvious intruder.

Leonard gripped the tire iron. Perhaps he hadn't fully worked this through, Leonard thought to himself. There was no way he could swing the tire iron with enough strength to do any damage to Donny. But the huge man was coming right at Leonard. "Overthinking this is not an option," Leonard said to himself. He held the tire iron down by his side, clutching the socket wrench with both hands, the chisel pointing downward. Donny accelerated as he burst through the back office into the front reception area.

Leonard tried to control his trembling. He thought for a moment of heading for the door to lure Donny outside. There he would have a better chance of getting away, or attracting somebody's attention; and it could give Penny the opportunity to escape from wherever she was being held. But he quickly realized that he didn't have time to get to the door before Donny would be upon him.

The huge man ran toward Leonard snarling, "You little bastard." Leonard held his ground. Donny was about four steps away from grabbing Leonard, with both hands reaching for the smaller man. Leonard quickly raised the tire iron, bracing the socket wrench end with both hands against his chest, and took a rapid step forward.

Leonard felt the tire iron sink deep into Donny's abdomen, as the giant let out a surprised gasp. The force of the impact threw Leonard back and to the side, against the wall. Leonard grabbed for support, but he was falling too quickly. And he felt like his chest had been hit with a sledgehammer, even with both his hands cushioning the blow. Even his hands were stinging mightily. But the intense pain was the least of Leonard's worries.

Donny was enraged. He looked down at the tire iron protruding from his midsection with a mix of wonder and fury, then up at Leonard. As Leonard struggled to keep his balance, Donny reached out and grabbed the smaller man by the shoulder with one hand. He spun Leonard around so that they were face to face – face to chest, given the height differential – and closed his massive hands around Leonard's throat.

Leonard was still stunned by the combination of their impact and the blow he took when he hit the wall. He could barely feel his chest or hands. But he could see Donny's face contorted in rage, and feel his meaty hands start to close themselves around his throat. He knew that at this point he was fighting for his life, and that if Donny got a firm grip on Leonard's throat, there was probably nothing Leonard could do to save himself. So him tried to move quickly down and away. But Donny was too strong, and too fast, and quickly got his hands back around Leonard's throat. Leonard tried to kick at Donny's feet, to use his injured hands to grab at the tire iron – anything to pull the giant man's attention away. But Donny knew what he had to do. His grip on Leonard's throat tightened.

The two men stood in the area between the reception desk and the wall of the front office, with the door to Leonard's back. Leonard thought again about pulling Donny toward the door and outside, where maybe a passer-by could see them. But Donny recognized the intention and planted his feet. The two men faced each other as Donny squeezed hard on Leonard's throat. His enormous thumbs pressed inward, and Leonard felt his windpipe closing up. He started gasping for air, still flailing to do anything to force Donny to loosen his hold.

But Donny was too strong. Leonard felt as though the brute's hands were reaching down his throat. His tongue seemed to be growing, filling his mouth, and every attempt to breathe only hurt. He felt that his eyes were straining in their sockets as his vision clouded. His mind wandered as he felt his consciousness slip away; it wandered to his regrets, to his one great regret. He had disappointed Penny, and he would never be able to make it up to her. He felt his body go increasingly limp, as Donny kept up the pressure on his throat even as he lowered Leonard toward the floor. All Donny could think of was finishing off the little man who had ruined his plans. All Leonard could think of as he lost consciousness was Penny.


	7. Chapter 7

Penny was braced for the final shock against the bathroom door, ready to try another desperate run to the parking lot. But nothing happened. She sensed Donny step away from the door, then heard footsteps receding. She felt that this might be her only chance to get away. Perhaps some customers had arrived: surely Donny would be constrained with others present. Penny slowly unlocked the door and walked out into the bedroom. She peered into the back office in time to see Donny leave it at a jog. She could not see what he was headed toward, and she moved cautiously toward the front. As she crept toward the doorway she could see the reception area.

It took a major effort for Penny to suppress a scream when she saw Leonard standing stock-still as Donny ran toward him at top speed. She could not imagine what her fiancé thought he was doing, but she could see a determined look on his face. She wondered whether he knew she was there, and decided that he otherwise would never have broken in. But she could not fathom his intention. She wondered if Leonard was trying to divert Donny's attention so she could get away. It would be like Leonard to sacrifice himself – just like a superhero, she thought with a wry smile.

Suddenly, curiously, Donny came up short and appeared to stop in his tracks. Penny could not see clearly what was going on, as Leonard flew backward several feet and bounced off the side wall. But within a few seconds Donny's intention was obvious. He had his hands around Leonard's throat and was choking the life out of him.

It was clear that Leonard could not long withstand this punishment. A couple of minutes and he would be dead. She looked around desperately for something to use to help Leonard, and saw the baseball bat lying on the floor. She grabbed it and headed toward the front office.

Penny wondered if she should make noise to distract Donny, or try to sneak up on him. She decided on the latter strategy.

As she came out of the back office, hugging the wall, she was directly behind Donny and apparently out of his view. The man seemed strangely quiet, wounded somehow, but she had no idea how. What she could see was that Leonard was in terrible shape. Donny had his massive hands tightly wrapped around her fiancé's throat, and as she watched Leonard's body seemed to go limp. Donny kept the pressure up on Leonard's throat as he lowered Leonard toward the floor.

Moving fast, Penny raised the bat above her head and took aim. Childhood memories of her father's attempts to teach her baseball flooded into her consciousness. Well, this was it. She said to herself, "Go, Slugger!" and brought the bat down on Donny's head with all her force.

There was a sickening crunch as the aluminum bat hit Donny squarely on the back of his head. Penny felt that the bat had actually made a dent in the monstrous skull, although she figured this was probably impossible. Donny started to turn around but decided instead to continue to concentrate on finishing Leonard off. He growled furiously.

Penny raised the bat quickly again. Again she said to herself, "Go, Slugger!" and smashed down as hard as she could. And again. And again. With each blow she felt herself getting stronger and stronger, almost hysterical. This was her last, her only, chance to save her future husband's life, and she was not going to fail.

Donny staggered more with each blow, and as he staggered he sank to his knees. Now Penny had an easier shot to the ogre's head. She gathered her strength one last time and hit him directly on the top of his head. Donny gradually crumpled to the floor.


	8. Chapter 8

Penny gave a little cry of triumph as she saw Donny slide to the floor on his side. But it was soon tempered with anguish as she looked at her fiancé on the ground in front of her. She was shocked by what she saw. Leonard's neck, shoulders, and face were covered with welts and scratches. His head and neck lay limp, at a disturbing angle. Leonard did not appear to be breathing.

She ran past Donny's enormous body on the floor, and knelt down beside her fiancé. She heard a wheezing noise as Leonard struggled mightily to draw a breath. Penny quickly realized that Leonard was fighting to get air into his lungs; it sounded as though he was suffocating. His face was turning a terrible bluish-white, and when she gently stroked his forehead his skin felt clammy. She had to do something to help him breathe. But first she had to get him to safety. She felt that Donny would not be out for long, strong as he was.

Crouching behind Leonard with her hands under his arms, Penny began dragging him toward the door. As she glanced back at Donny, Penny was shocked to see a massive piece of metal sticking out of his stomach. "Did Leonard do that?" she wondered. And then, " _How_ did Leonard do that?" But there was no time to figure it all out. She pulled as hard as she could toward the door, finally pushing it open and dragging Leonard onto the sidewalk. She could feel his body shake with each shallow breath. Clearly, Donny had done some real damage. Leonard was gasping for air, and did not appear to be succeeding in getting enough of it.

Penny looked around for help. At the other end of the motel was a housekeeper with her cart. Penny screamed for her, and the woman came running. As she approached, Penny shouted, "Please, help me get him to the car." The woman shook her head, uncomprehending. Penny gestured her closer, then got herself under one of Leonard's shoulders, motioning to the woman to do the same. The housekeeper was short and middle-aged, but strongly built. She complied immediately and the two of them quickly half walked, half dragged, the unconscious Leonard to their car. They sat him down against the car, and Penny said in her non-existent Spanish, "Nueve uno uno, por favor, por favor!" The housekeeper nodded, pulled out her phone, and almost immediately began talking vigorously in Spanish with the dispatcher.

Leonard was unconscious, and it was obvious that he needed immediate help. Penny suddenly thought of something: Perhaps his breathing difficulties were being made worse by his asthma. And in any case maybe the inhaler would help. The housekeeper was off the phone, and Penny motioned to her to take her place by Leonard. The housekeeper pointed to herself and said simply "María." Penny replied, "Penny. Muchas gracias."

María kneeled down to help support Leonard, while Penny ran into the room and returned with the inhaler. She held his jaw and pushed the inhaler into his mouth, giving him three quick puffs as she had seen Leonard do a thousand times. It seemed to help a little, but Leonard was still struggling with every breath. If anything, he seemed to be fading.

Penny sat in front of Leonard on the pavement, face to face with him. She decided that breathing was probably easier sitting up than lying down, so she continued to hold him up so he would be leaning against the car. She also figured that it was important to try to get Leonard to regain consciousness.

"Wake up, baby. It's me. Leonard, wake up." She stroked his forehead and cheeks, and smoothed his curly hair. She tried not to look too closely at Leonard's wounds. But it was hard to avoid them. His upper body and neck were covered with bruises. Leonard's lips were bluish-white, his face was ashen and increasingly blue in hue, and his body convulsed a little as he attempted each new breath. What breathing he was able to manage seemed to her to be getting shallower. Penny bit her lower lip to try to keep from crying, but it was no use. Leonard looked like he was dying, and Penny felt helpless. She wondered if she should try some form of CPR, but after all he was breathing. And the bruising was so extensive that she could not imagine what she could do that would not hurt him even more seriously. Instead, she decided to try to coax him into opening his eyes. "Please, honey, wake up. It's all right now. You were amazing. I love you." There was no response.

María disappeared and returned with a couple of wet hand towels. She handed them to Penny and said something in Spanish, gesturing to the young woman. Penny nodded and gently began wiping Leonard's face with a cold towel. The wounded man shuddered at the initial touch and Penny drew back, but then his face seemed to gain a little color, so she continued.

María showed up again with an ice bucket full of ice and a couple of washcloths. She wrapped ice in a washcloth and crouched down next to Penny. She looked at Penny and motioned to her that she would help out. Penny nodded, and the housekeeper softly held the icy washcloth up to what appeared to be the most serious bruises, around Leonard's throat. Again the young man started a bit, but it also seemed to bring some relief. His breathing was coming a little more regularly now. Penny smiled gratefully at the housekeeper through her tears, and took the washcloth from her to hold it herself. She continued talking to Leonard, trying to encourage him to open his eyes. But he remained unconscious, and as Penny talked softly his body shuddered ominously. Penny gave an anguished cry and hugged Leonard in desperation, hoping to help him breathe and get him to wake up.

María stood and watched the scene. She lay her hand on Penny's head, gently stroking the young woman's short hair to comfort her, saying something soothing in Spanish. Penny looked up at María with eyes that were still terrified, but said again, "Gracias."

The two woman heard a large noise from across the parking lot. They looked over to the office and were shocked to see Donny come staggering through the doorway, the baseball bat in his hand. María, probably only now realizing who the perpetrator had been, said in shock, "Ay, Dios mío," and looked wide-eyed at Penny. They both glanced back at Donny. He looked very shaky, but there was no doubt that he was still a threat.

Penny, white with fear, called more urgently to Leonard, "Baby, wake up, you need to wake up." But it was clear this was not going to work, so she rummaged in his pockets for his car keys. She found them and opened the car. María was standing by, understanding Penny's intention: if they could get into the car, they would be safe. They began to lift Leonard so that they could wrestle him into the passenger seat.

Donny continued to stagger into the parking lot. The women tried to keep their eyes on him even as they tried to move Leonard gently. But within a few seconds it was clear that Donny would not make it very far. He stumbled to his knees, then fell onto his side and stayed there. The women put Leonard back down on the asphalt, just as the sound of sirens reached them.


	9. Chapter 9

When the call came through, officers Brennan and Lopez looked at each other and rolled their eyes. The Inn was the local den of iniquity, ground zero for the high desert's prostitution and drug trafficking. To make matters worse, the Inn's manager was a hulking trouble-maker who happened to be the brother of the town's chief of police. The Chief was a good man who tried to keep family ties from prejudicing police business, but everyone on the force tiptoed around the Inn to avoid unnecessary complications. However, the dispatcher had said there was a serious injury, so maybe it would just be a call for the ambulance, and the EMTs would take care of it.

Their patrol car rounded the curve heading toward the Inn just as the second car on the call came into view. The two cars jumped the curb into the parking lot at almost the same time. A remarkable scene greeted the four officers. The monstrous motel manager was lying in the middle of the parking lot. Off to the side there was a small group gathered next to a car.

The officers jumped out of their cars with weapons drawn. Lopez signaled to the other two to take Donny, while she and her partner headed quickly for the car. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the other two officers approach the prone body cautiously, then more quickly as they saw that the man was no threat. The two crouched by Donny curiously, then looked at each other, and then one of them radioed dispatch that they'd need another ambulance.

Lopez and Brennan jogged quickly toward the car; as they got closer the situation became clearer and they holstered their weapons. Lopez approached the group, recognizing one of them.

"Hola, Doña María, que pasó aquí?" she said to the housekeeper.

"Yo no sé bién, peró mira que el chico necesita ayuda. Y la pobrecita está medio muerta de miedo."

Lopez turned to the young blonde who seemed completely absorbed in speaking softly to the small man sitting in front of her. He appeared to be unconscious, struggling to breathe, and was covered with bruises.

"Ma'am, are you all right? Ms. María says your friend is hurt, but she doesn't know what happened." She left out the part where María said that the poor girl was half dead with fear.

The young woman glanced at the officers, her eyes full of tears. "I'm fine," she said, but there was terror in her voice as she looked at them. Through her desperation, Penny thought of her options. The two officers seemed friendly – both in their late 30s, both looking truly concerned. But Donny had said that the police were on his side. However, she liked the soft features and carefully coiffed hair of the female officer, and decided to try to trust her. She pleaded with Lopez: "Please help him. He can't breathe, I think he's dying."

Lopez crouched down by the young man, felt his pulse and his chest. There was no doubt that he was badly injured: his breath was rasping, there was a faint whistling every time his chest heaved, and his bruises were truly alarming. But he did not appear to be dying.

The young woman was increasingly distraught, however. Lopez looked at her and sensed that she was on the verge of panic. It was true that the young man was in critical condition, but Lopez felt that it was important to try to keep the young woman calm. The officers needed more information; and in any case if panic took over, they would have two difficult victims to deal with instead of one. So Lopez said, attempting to sound confident, "He's breathing and his pulse is pretty strong. I don't think he's in any immediate danger. The ambulance will be here very soon and they'll take him right to the hospital."

While Lopez was talking to the woman, Brennan started looking around the car, attempting to figure out what had happened. He returned and waited for Lopez to finish.

"I'm sorry to bother you, ma'am," Brennan said cautiously, "but it would help if you could tell us what happened."

Penny stared over at Donny, then back at the two officers. She was a little calmer, although still very shaky. "That guy tried to, um…assault me." The officer nodded. "Then he tried to strangle Leonard, but I hit him with a baseball bat." She didn't seem able to make much more sense than that. She looked nervously over at where the two other officers stood by Donny and shuddered, then turned back quickly to tend to Leonard, hugging him and whispering to him.

Brennan hastened to reassure her. "You're not in any danger now. Anyway, we'll talk more later. For now the main thing is to get your boyfriend to the hospital."

" _Fiancé_ ," Penny said firmly, holding Leonard as tightly as she dared. She looked again at Lopez, desperate. "Please, can't you do something? He can't breathe and he's unconscious and he's in a lot of pain."

Lopez put her hand on Penny's arm. "The ambulance will be here right away, and they'll know exactly what to do. We're going to make sure you and your fiancé are taken care of. What's your name?"

"Penny. This is Leonard," she said, still in something of a daze.

"I'm Teresa. Teri. My partner's Patrick. Don't worry, we'll stay with you."

More sirens sounded, close, and after a moment an ambulance drove up quickly. Two EMTs jumped out, and Brennan waved at them and shouted as they got out of the cab, "Over here." The EMTs ran over with a gurney and stopped by the group. Penny huddled over Leonard protectively, still talking softly to him and stroking his cheek. Lopez and Brennan looked at each other and smiled. For once a call to the Inn had been worth it.

The older of the two EMTs touched her on the shoulder: "Excuse us, ma'am, we need to get him into the ambulance."

Penny looked at them, then at Lopez. "I'm going with him," she said with resolve. With the ambulance and EMTs there, she seemed to have gained some confidence that Leonard would be all right.

"Of course," Lopez said. "Is there anything here you need to take with you?"

"My purse and Leonard's glasses are in the front office," Penny said. "His glasses are black."

Brennan ran off to the office to gather the belongings as the two EMTs lowered the gurney and delicately lifted Leonard onto it. Penny clung to his hand the whole time, never removing her gaze from Leonard's face. Lopez was moved by the young woman's intensity: it was as if her whole being were invested in willing her fiancé to revive.

The EMTs rolled the gurney toward the ambulance at a jog, with Penny still clinging tightly to Leonard's hand. Lopez walked quickly next to Penny, once more putting a reassuring hand on Penny's arm.

"Don't worry, Penny," she said in a motherly tone. "The hospital is nearby. Brennan and I will get your things and we'll be in the car right behind you. We'll make sure Leonard is all right."

Penny looked at the officer gratefully as she climbed into the ambulance, still holding Leonard's hand as the EMTs closed the rear doors and started off.


	10. Chapter 10

As the first EMT hopped into the cab and navigated away from the motel, the second EMT worked on Leonard. Before Penny could even register what he was doing, there was an oxygen mask over Leonard's nose and mouth. Almost immediately she could feel Leonard's body relax a little. She thought of something.

"He has asthma," she told the EMT. "Does that matter?"

"Well, it doesn't help, but the oxygen makes a big difference. His breathing is very shallow, but with the oxygen he's getting enough. What happened to him?"

"The guy there tried to strangle him," Penny said simply.

The EMT knew better than to try to get more details at this point, but the strangulation information was helpful. "Does he have any allergies?"

Penny smiled for the first time in hours. "Millions. But I don't think any of them are to medicine."

The EMT busied himself preparing an IV line on the arm whose hand Penny wasn't holding. Penny sat closer to Leonard and with her free hand stroked his cheek. She kissed him tenderly on the forehead, then rubbed it gently. She cupped his cheek in her hand, staring at his closed eyes. "It's all right, baby, it's going to be all right," she whispered. The EMT glanced at Penny, then looked away respectfully. He wanted to reassure the poor woman, although in truth the young man's condition was serious.

"His pulse is pretty strong, and his breathing is regular. Those are good signs."

"But he looks so terrible. And why is he still unconscious?" Penny asked.

"He's badly injured," the EMT said. "It looks to me like he might have some damage around the throat and shoulders. And the body sort of shuts down to protect itself. But they'll be able to do a lot at the hospital."

Penny sat holding Leonard's hand tightly, then looked down to play with his fingers as she always did when they were in bed. She gasped. His hand was almost completely blue, and his fingers were starting to swell. She hadn't even noticed as she held them. The thought that she might have hurt him by holding his hand was overwhelming, and she began to cry again. The EMT looked at her with concern.

"Look at his hand, it's all broken, and I was squeezing it," Penny sobbed.

The EMT took Leonard's hand gently and inspected it. "Bad bruises, and maybe a break. But he can't really feel anything, and holding his hand didn't do any harm. It's all right, ma'am, just try to keep calm."

They were turning into the emergency room drive now. The ambulance stopped, the rear doors opened, and a crowd of people from the ER reached for the gurney as Penny climbed down. She continued to clasp Leonard's arm as they pushed him onto the sidewalk, into the hospital and down a hallway. Penny looked behind her and was happy to see officers Lopez and Brennan walking quickly behind them, just as the orderlies opened a door and rolled Leonard into a brightly lit room full of equipment.

A doctor and several nurses gathered around as they transferred Leonard onto the hospital bed. Penny continued to hold onto Leonard's arm, as the hospital employees looked at each other, trying to work around her. The young doctor who appeared to be in charge tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, but we're going to have to work on him now. You can stay here, but please move away."

Penny looked at the doctor is despair. "Can't I just stay next to him? Please?"

The doctor relented. "Sure, just give us some space. And maybe you can tell me what happened to your friend?"

" _Fiancé,"_ Penny said firmly, again. "He's Leonard. A guy tried to strangle him. A really big guy. And he also got knocked down and against a wall. And I think his hands got hurt. Plus he has asthma," Penny said, helplessly. "Is he going to be all right? He looks so terrible."

"We don't know much yet, but he's breathing steadily and that's a good sign, given that he appears to have come close to suffocating." Meanwhile the nurses were cutting away Leonard's shirt and raising the head of the bed up so he was in a semi-reclined position. As they pulled away bloody pieces of the shirt, Penny caught her breath. There was a huge black and blue mark right at Leonard's sternum, and the welts she'd noticed on his shoulders were now bleeding. His left arm hung at a strange angle, one that reminded Penny of the time she had dislocated her shoulder. Almost his entire upper chest and both of his shoulders were turning black and blue, and now she could see that his throat seemed twisted and distorted.

The doctor was talking quickly to his colleagues. "Can't intubate him in case there's been some damage to the trachea. Need films right away. BP low, pulse good. Let's get his shoulder back in first." A nurse held Leonard against the bed as the doctor pulled his arm out and twisted it. Penny recognized the action from her own experience, and jumped up.

"Hey, that's going to hurt him! Stop it!"

The doctor paused. "Please, miss, let us do our job. I want to get the dislocation reduced before we deal with his more serious injuries." And he quickly gripped Leonard's arm near the shoulder and turned it slowly as the nurse held Leonard down. Penny saw the joint slip into place. Leonard twitched a little but showed no other sign of distress.

"Take him down to get the films first," the doctor ordered. "Don't forget the hands." And before Penny knew what was happening, they were wheeling Leonard back out of the room.

"What are you doing? Aren't you going to take care of him here?" she said harshly to the doctor. She was still a little angry at him for manipulating the dislocated shoulder so abruptly.

"We have to get X-rays first. We don't know how much damage there is to his trachea, or to anything else. He might have some broken bones, and any damage around the throat and neck can be tricky. We don't want to make matters worse. He's stable now. If you want to go with him you can."

Penny ran down the hall after Leonard. It was just a few hundred yards to the radiology lab, and it took all of five minutes for them to get what they needed. Then they headed back to the room. Penny walked alongside with her hand on Leonard's chest. She could feel him breathing regularly, which reassured her.

Officer Lopez was standing at the entrance to the room. "Penny," she said, "I think things are under control for now. Can I talk to you about what happened?"

"No," Penny said firmly, "I have to stay with Leonard until I know he's all right. I want to see him wake up."

Lopez relented a little. "All right. But let me come in there with you and ask you a few questions. We need some information from you."


	11. Chapter 11

Teresa Lopez accompanied Penny back into the hospital room where the doctor and two nurses continued to work on Leonard. Penny stood next to the bed with her hand on Leonard's arm. She seemed unwilling to lose physical contact with him.

After a few minutes the doctor said softly to her, "He's got a lot of damage to his trachea, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken finger. But it's nothing permanent. The trachea could take a while to heal, and he won't be doing much talking for a couple of weeks. We just need to wait for him to regain consciousness, because I want to check that there's been no other damage."

Leonard stirred and groaned. Penny winced as if the pain were hers. "Can't you give him something for the pain? He's suffering so much."

"I don't want to do that until he's responsive. I need to test his cognitive function and eye movement before I give him anything. But I promise, then I'll give him enough painkiller to make him comfortable."

Penny looked doubtful, but nodded. She pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down, again resting her hand on Leonard's arm. The doctor looked at Penny and smiled. "We're leaving now, but if you see anything that worries you, just press the call button and we'll come running. I'll check back in fifteen minutes."

Lopez crouched down to be at Penny's level. "Penny, I really need to talk to you. We still don't have a clear picture of what happened, and I want to get it before memories start to fade. Can we go next door and talk?"

Penny shook her head. "I'm staying here. I owe it to Leonard. I don't want to let him out of my sight."

Lopez sighed. "All right. I understand. Let's talk here," she said, pulling a chair over to the corner and beckoning for Penny to join her. Reluctantly, Penny moved her chair away from the bed and to the corner where she and Lopez sat. The officer took out her notebook.

"So what happened?" Lopez asked.

Penny looked at her and told the story: how they were on their way to Las Vegas to get married, how the car broke down, how Leonard went to get it the next morning, how Donny lured her into the motel office.

"How stupid was that?" Penny said bitterly. "I walked right into it."

"Don't blame yourself," Lopez said, "there was no way you could have known."

Penny went on, narrating the rest of the events. When she got to the part where Donny and Lenny crashed in the front office, she stopped. "I don't actually know what happened there, other than that Donny was stabbed with something."

Lopez smiled. "Well, your fiancé managed to stick about a foot of a tire iron right through Donny's guts. Messed him up good. I'm afraid it also did a number on Leonard's hands and chest. But I still can't quite figure how the tire iron penetrated so far."

The young woman said simply, "Mass times velocity equals momentum. Donny was huge and he was moving fast." Penny glanced over at the bed and thought to herself how proud Leonard would be of her for knowing about momentum, and how she had to remember to tell him.

Lopez looked surprised. "Are you a scientist or something?"

Penny laughed a little. "I'm only a something. But Leonard is an experimental physicist at Caltech."

"Oh," said Lopez. "I don't really know what that means."

"It means," Penny said, trying hard to remember Amy's wording, "that he takes theories and designs protocols to test their hypotheses."

Lopez looked at her again. "Umm, I don't really know what that means either."

Penny smiled again and said, "I don't actually understand it myself. I just know the words. Anyway, he's a physicist."

Lopez asked her to finish with the narrative of the events of the morning. Penny explained about the bathroom, the baseball bat and the rest, and then was silent.

"Penny," Lopez said gently, "are you sure that Donny didn't molest you in any way? Sometimes girls are afraid to admit they've been assaulted."

Penny looked at the officer curiously. "No, he didn't get the chance. He was going to…well, to rape me, but Leonard got there in time," she finished with pride.

Lopez looked at her again. "You know you have a lot of bruising on your arms and I can see some on your shoulder. Do you mind if one of the doctors takes a look at you?"

"All right, if they come here. I don't want to leave Leonard. Oh, and can you bring me my purse and Leonard's glasses? I think you got them from the motel."

Lopez nodded as she left the room, and found the doctor who had worked on Leonard. "Doc," she said, "can you take a look at the young woman with him? She says she's all right but she's practically in a state of shock and I think she may have some injuries. Just do it without making a big deal. She's scared enough as it is."

The doctor walked back to the room and looked carefully at Leonard and the monitors. As if it were an afterthought, he turned to Penny and said, "I think I should take a quick look at you, too, to make sure there aren't any injuries to tend to."

Penny sighed, "I know Teri sent you. All right, go ahead."

"Do you mind taking off your shirt?" the doctor asked, closing the blinds of the room to give her some privacy.

Penny removed her shirt and the doctor looked carefully at her arms and torso. He palpated her back and upper chest, and Penny grimaced. After a few moments, he stopped and handed back her shirt.

"You have a lot of bruising on your arms and elsewhere. I'd feel more comfortable if we took some X-rays. Can I get you to go down to radiology for just a few minutes?"

"I'm fine," Penny insisted firmly. "Once Leonard is awake and we've talked I will do whatever you want. For now, I'm staying here."

The doctor nodded. "All right, but I want you to promise to get those X rays taken eventually.'

"I promise," Penny said, as the doctor left the room.

Officer Lopez returned with Penny's purse and Leonard's glasses. Penny started to put the glasses on Leonard, but then decided against it. She took out her phone and looked at it. There were a few messages; four missed calls from Bernadette; two from Amy; _eight_ from Sheldon. They must be wondering where the two of them were. Probably Sheldon had told them that they must be married by now. She shook her head when she remembered that it had all begun less than 24 hours before. It seemed like so much longer….

"Excuse me, office…Teri, do you think you could go back to the motel and bring me my phone charger? Our friends must be worried about us and my phone is just about out of juice."

Lopez looked dubious. "You and Leonard are probably going to be here for a couple of days. We'll have plenty of time to pick up your things at the motel once you're willing to leave him. You can always use the hospital phone to call if you need to. For now Officer Brennan and I are going to stay here with you until our shift is over. That's a few more hours," she said, glancing at the clock on the room wall.

Penny looked with her and was surprised to see that it was only 2.15. To her it felt like several days had gone by since she had woken up in the motel bed. She nodded.

"Can I bring you something to eat or drink?" Lopez asked. Penny shook her head. "What about a more comfortable chair?" Penny nodded, and Lopez went into the hallway. She found a recliner two rooms down and rolled it down to Penny. They positioned it next to Leonard's bed and Penny plumped back down, once more resting her hand on Leonard's arm.

"Get some rest, Penny. You must be exhausted," Lopez said kindly.

Lopez and Brennan stood guard outside the hospital room. Lopez hadn't told Penny that as both victims of and material witnesses to attempted rape and homicide, especially when the suspect was a well-connected local criminal, they were under police guard. But she didn't mind waiting for Leonard to wake up so that he and Penny could be reunited. She looked into the room through the small window on the door and saw Penny sleeping in the recliner next to Leonard's bed. With the ceiling light shining dimly on him he looked like a wounded warrior, and with her hand still resting on his arm she looked like his guardian angel. Lopez felt a warm glow as she looked in on the two. She couldn't remember being so much in love – not that she didn't love her husband and sons, but the first few years had been a long time ago. Being young and in love was special, she thought. Even if your lover was unconscious and nearly dead, she mused, a bit more cynically.


	12. Chapter 12

As Lopez looked into the room, Brennan nudged her with some urgency. "Get ready," he whispered. She looked down the hallway to see the massive form of the chief of police walking rapidly toward them. He did not look happy.

"Brennan! Lopez! Over here!" he barked as he reached them.

The two officers stepped away from the door and moved a few yards down the hall. The Chief looked them up and down. "My brother's in the OR and my mother's hysterical. Where's the bastard who did this to him?"

Brennan walked back to the room and pointed through the door window. "That's him, sir, and his fiancée."

They could sense the shock on the Chief's face when he saw the diminutive patient on the bed, and the pretty young woman sleeping in a chair next to him. "Him?! How is that possible? The doctors told me somebody managed to stab Donald with a tire iron that went practically right through him."

Lopez smiled. "Momentum, sir. Mass times velocity: your brother's a big man, and he was running."

The Chief looked at Lopez quizzically. "Anyway," he said, a little less angrily, "I know they're charging my brother and he's under guard. What makes you think these two are innocent victims?"

Brennan and Lopez looked at each other. "We were there, Chief Thompson," Brennan said. "It was pretty clear who was the aggressor."

"Your gut feeling, huh," the Chief snorted. "I'll need more than that. Let's head over to the Inn and take a look."

Brennan said, "We're on guard here, sir. There's some concern that, uh, associates of…you know," he stammered.

"All right, all right, I get it. I'll get a couple of guys here while you're gone." The Chief called in and they waited about ten minutes for two other officers to come take the place of Brennan and Lopez while they accompanied the Chief to the motel.

Chief Thompson told them as they walked to his SUV, "We've sealed off the office for now. The detectives are on their way there, but I really want to see for myself."

In the Chief's SUV, Brennan said cautiously, "Everything they've said checks out so far, sir. I confirmed the timeline with Jimmy Davis, who was working on their car. I called Caltech, too."

"Why Caltech?" the Chief asked.

"Oh, sorry," Brennan replied. "The female victim told us her fiancé was a physicist at Caltech. And that checks out too. Plus I can tell you that the scene inside the office is consistent with a struggle. The lady's purse was on the floor in back, with its contents spilling out. The gentleman's glasses were on the floor in front, behind the registration desk."

Lopez hesitated a bit, then said, "Chief Thompson, I believe the girl completely. And I believe that when we get there we'll find a bottle of chloroform and a rag; and we'll see that the door to the bathroom is nearly broken down."

"What the hell?!" the Chief exclaimed. "What is _that_ all about?"

Lopez explained Penny's account of the events, and reaffirmed her belief that the young woman was telling the truth. "Plus, if you'll allow me to say," she continued, with only a little reluctance, "we've been hearing stories about your brother for a while."

Chief Thompson sighed. "I know, I know. He was bound to end up in a hospital, or in jail – or in the morgue – someday. But I still want to see for myself."

They arrived at the motel to find a couple of officers standing guard, and the office closed off with yellow tape. The housekeeper was still working on a room, and before they went into the office Lopez called her over. Lopez translated as the housekeeper described to the Chief what she had seen. Lopez neglected to translate the part where the housekeeper called the Chief's brother some names that he probably wouldn't have appreciated.

As they headed for the office, Brennan and Lopez looked at each other tentatively. Chief Thompson noticed their uncertainty and said, "I know, I know, it's a little irregular. But we won't touch anything. This is really just for my benefit, all right? I promise you, I'll leave the case to you and the detectives. But I need to see for myself. After all, idiot or not, he is my brother."

The three cautiously entered the motel office. Inside, the scene was as Brennan had described it. There was dried blood on the floor, and there were clear signs of struggle in all three rooms. The bottle of chloroform and rag were still on the desk in the back office; in the bedroom, the bathroom door was severely cracked around the doorknob.

The three walked back out to the Chief's vehicle as the detectives drove up. They greeted each other, and the detectives started their work.

As they headed back to the hospital, the Chief brooded quietly. Finally, he sighed, "Good work, you two. It seems pretty clear to me. But, Lopez, next time translate everything. I've got enough Spanish to have a sense of what she was saying about my brother. It's nothing I haven't heard before. And I prefer the full picture, uncensored. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Lopez replied sheepishly. So much for sparing his feelings.

"Good. Carry on, with the detectives. Everything by the book, and let's keep the guard on the victims." He shook his head sadly, "Who knows what that idiot thought he was doing? What a waste of a life." The two officers looked at him with some sympathy. After all, Lopez thought, the man couldn't choose his relatives; he was a decent guy and a fine police officer.

The Chief sighed even more deeply, a sigh mixed with dread. "But how am I going to tell my mother?"

Brennan and Lopez looked at each other, relieved and amused. The Chief was an imposing figure, but he was notoriously petrified of his mother. This would not be an easy conversation.

The two officers left the Chief to his family troubles at the hospital, and walked back to the room where Leonard was sleeping. They relieved their fellow officers, and resumed their wait for Leonard to regain consciousness.


	13. Chapter 13

Penny woke up with a start. She looked at the clock and was surprised to see that it was already 4.30 – more than two hours had gone by. She looked at Leonard. He seemed so peaceful. And yet just a few hours before, he had been a minute or two away from death. And his body was still battered. He was so fragile, really, so small and slight. When she saw Donny crushing his throat, she realized how easily a man like that could snuff out her lover's life. With a catch in her voice, she leaned over to Leonard and whispered, "I almost lost you today. That can never happen again."

Leonard stirred a little and Penny was suddenly completely alert. She bent closer to him and said, more loudly now, "Leonard, it's me. You're all right. We're in the hospital. Wake up, honey."

Leonard's eyes fluttered briefly and then opened a little. Penny practically screamed with excitement. "Leonard!"

The wounded man looked up at her, at first uncomprehending. His eyes opened wide with surprise, then with joy. He whispered, "Penny! Penny!" and he began to smile. But his smile was contorted, and Penny realized that movement seemed to be causing him pain.

"Don't try to talk, baby. We're safe now. The doctors are taking care of you."

"Are you," Leonard started to say, then stopped. Penny could see that he could barely whisper without it hurting. She tried to shush him, but Leonard kept talking, in a very hoarse whisper: "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Don't try to talk, it will hurt you."

Leonard looked around and Penny saw a residue of fear in his eyes. "Donny?"

"Oh, you messed him up good, buster. He won't be bothering anyone for a long time. You were amazing, Leonard! The police couldn't believe what you did. But you got hurt so badly, honey. I was so worried about you."

"Did he…" Leonard hesitated, "did he do anything…."

"No, no! You got there just in time. I'm so proud of you, Leonard. You put your life on the line for me, you know that? Just like in the movies or one of your comic books. I still can't believe it."

Leonard was still puzzled. "How did…I mean…Donny…."

"Oh," said Penny. "I knocked him out with a baseball bat," she said, trying to sound matter-of fact but secretly proud.

Leonard smiled broadly, wincing a bit as the smile rippled through his injured muscles and sent a jolt of pain down his neck. He looked at her lovingly. "Way to go, Slugger," he murmured.

Penny's heart leapt. Her father's childhood nickname for her was precisely what she had thought about as she was wielding the baseball bat to try to save Leonard's life. Who else in the world could be so in touch with her inner life?

She leaned down to Leonard and kissed him on the forehead. "Leonard. I love you so, so much. I wish I could hug you so tight, but I don't want to hurt you. But I love you so much I can't stand it," and she began to cry softly. "I was so worried."

Leonard looked up at her with his beautiful, soft, brown eyes. They were filling with tears. "Penny," he said. She kissed him again, gently on the lips, and tried to get him to stay quiet and still.

But Leonard was insistent. "Penny," he said again, and she realized that he was trying to gather strength to say something. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited patiently, drying her tears.

"I thought I was going to die," Leonard whispered. Penny began to cry again, but Leonard was trying to go on. "I could feel myself dying. And all I could think about was how sad it was to die after disappointing you. And how I wanted you to forgive me before I died. I am so, so sorry..."

Penny felt like she was going to collapse. She sensed her arms weaken, and strained to hold herself upright and stay seated on the bed. It seemed that her heart would explode with pain. To feel yourself dying, and to worry that your lover didn't love you: what a terrible burden. How distant her anger and hurt seemed now, how small compared to her current emotions.

"Leonard," Penny tried to speak, but nothing came out. Leonard looked up at her, his eyes full of tears and raw emotion. "Oh, Leonard…." But she could not continue. She just looked at him with tears streaming down her face. Her hands reached for his cheeks, his hair, his beautiful eyes. The pain and guilt in Leonard's eyes eased a little.

After a few minutes, Penny was more composed. She positioned herself so she was looking directly into his eyes, and said very slowly, very seriously, "I love you with all my heart. You must never doubt that, and never forget it. You and I are forever."

Leonard looked at her in wonder. He had never seen Penny speak about them with such feeling. He was overwhelmed by her intensity, and overcome with gratitude. "You saved my life."

Penny smiled at him. "And you saved mine." They sat looking at each other, both crying softly, Penny's hands caressing Leonard's face. She leaned down and put her head lightly on Leonard's chest. She wanted to hear his heart beat like she did when they were in bed. She felt his hand on her cheek, the splint on his index finger gently playing with her hair. His heartbeat was regular, reassuring, just like normal times in bed. She felt better.

Eventually Penny was calm enough to move on. She sat up and said, "I have to get the doctor. He wanted to examine you when you woke up." She walked to the door, opened it, and told Officer Brennan that Leonard was awake.


	14. Chapter 14

The doctor and a nurse, along with officers Brennan and Lopez, walked briskly into the hospital room where Leonard lay. Penny was standing at his side with a contented smile on her face.

"Welcome back, Leonard!" the doctor said brightly. "You gave us all quite a scare. I know you're in pain, and I promised your lovely fiancée that I'd give you something for that. She's been very worried about you." Leonard smiled broadly, then winced at the pain.

"But first I need to give you a little quiz. I know it's not very comfortable to talk; you can whisper or just mouth the words – we can try to read your lips. So, first tough question: what day is it?"

"Saturday," Leonard whispered an answer.

"And do you know the date?" Leonard again answered correctly. They went on like this for about ten minutes, after which the doctor examined Leonard's eyes for a few more minutes.

"Well, you seem to be responding nicely to your fiancée's TLC," the doctor smiled. "But you're going to have to stay with us in beautiful downtown Barstow for a couple of days. I'm going to give you something for the pain now. It will make you very sleepy, so if you have any questions, now is the time to ask them."

Leonard looked over at Penny. "Is she really all right?" he whispered.

"Oh, yes, she's fine. She has some bruises but she hasn't been willing to leave your side long enough to get X-rays taken. She promised me she'd do that now, isn't that right?" the doctor said, looking sidelong at Penny. "But she's fine. Just worried about you. So get some rest and you'll both feel a lot better tomorrow."

Leonard looked at Penny again and nodded. Penny looked at the doctor and asked, "Do you have to leave him sitting up like that?" motioning toward the bed, which was still in a semi-reclined position. "He won't be able to sleep."

"It's easier for him to breathe in this position," the doctor explained. Penny felt pleased that she had guessed this back in the parking lot. "And with what I've given him, he could sleep hanging upside down." Penny smiled, nodded, and turned back to Leonard.

The doctor and the others left the room. Penny and the two officers stayed behind. Penny sat down again by Leonard.

Officer Lopez cleared her throat. "Penny, I really do need to talk to you. Can you come with me?"

But Penny raised a finger to her lips to quiet the police officer, pointing at Leonard. His eyes were closing as he gradually fell asleep. Lopez waited a few more minutes, then whispered, "OK, he's asleep. You can come with me now."

Penny shook her head. Lopez insisted: "Officer Brennan will stay here with Leonard. If anything happens he'll let us know right away. But I have to talk to you about some things. Let's go to the motel and get your stuff, and we can talk on the way."

Resigned to leaving Leonard alone, Penny followed Lopez out of the room, looking back to make sure Leonard was asleep. Officer Brennan positioned himself by the door, inside the room, and folded his arms.

As they got into the patrol car and headed back to the motel, Officer Lopez said to the young woman, "You need to take care of yourself now. You've gone through a major trauma, and it can take a while for the impact to sink in. I'd like you to talk to the social worker back at the hospital when you feel up to it."

Penny nodded, and Lopez continued. "Let me tell you a few things I imagine you might want to know. Donald Thompson – that's the name of the man who assaulted you – will survive. Unfortunately. They had to operate on him to remove the tire iron Leonard inserted into his innards so delicately." Penny smiled.

"He is, of course, under arrest and under armed guard. He'll be charged with attempted rape and attempted murder, just as a start. He'll be going away for a long time." Lopez took a deep breath. "He might plead out, if he's smart. But since he's not smart, there might be a trial. And if there is, you and Leonard will have to testify. Do you think you can do that?"

Penny nodded. "If I have to. Anything to make sure he's put away."

"Good. We'll get formal statements from you and Leonard tomorrow. One other thing. We don't think you and Leonard are in any danger, but the fact is that Thompson has friends in this area. It's just a precaution, but we're giving you police protection while you're here in the hospital. And when you go back to Los Angeles, we'll contact your local police department and give them all the relevant information. You should check in with them every day, at least for a few weeks. Just to be safe."

Penny took a deep breath. She had thought the ordeal was over. "OK."

Back at the motel they gathered the couple's things into their overnight bag. Penny got in Leonard's car and followed the patrol car back to the hospital. As they walked from the hospital parking lot to the emergency room, Penny was very quiet. Lopez left her alone with her thoughts until they were nearly back to the room.

She broke the silence: "Later this evening, they're going to transfer Leonard to an upstairs room."

"Can I stay in the room with Leonard?" Penny asked plaintively.

"Of course," Lopez said. Before they went into Leonard's room, Penny turned to Lopez. "Officer Lopez, can I ask you some questions? It's all still a little confusing to me."

"Sure. But call me Teri. And let's go in here," Lopez said, ushering Penny into a vacant room next to Leonard's.


	15. Chapter 15

Penny and Officer Lopez went into the room and sat down facing each other. Penny asked: "The housekeeper at the motel – you knew her?"

"Yes, María Cruz." said Lopez. "She's a friend of my mother's, from church. This is a small town, you know."

"Could you thank her for me? She was so nice to me, I think I would have panicked if she hadn't been there to keep me calm. And I don't speak Spanish so I couldn't tell her myself."

"Of course. She called me a couple of hours ago to see how you and Leonard were."

"Oh, wow. Can you get me her address so I can send her some flowers or something?"

"Sure. What else?"

Penny hesitated. "I don't get what that Donny was up to. He had to know that Leonard was going to come back, and that I would go to the police. It doesn't make sense."

Now it was the officer's turn to hesitate. "Umm, don't take this the wrong way, but Brennan and I believe Donny thought that you were a hooker. You know, because…" Lopez looked away in embarrassment, "well, because Leonard doesn't look like the kind of guy that would normally be with a girl as pretty as you."

Penny nodded. "Yeah, he did say something like that to me."

Lopez continued, "We've gotten complaints in the past. I think that Donny has – had – a habit of forcing the working girls to put out for him, in return for his letting them use the motel."

The officer could see that the young blonde wanted to talk about something else, but wasn't ready. She decided to keep the conversation going herself.

"So," she began, "tell me about yourself."

Penny started: "I'm from Nebraska, been living in LA for about ten years. I moved here to act, and I'm still trying. But now I have a job as a sales rep for a pharmaceutical company."

"So you _are_ a drug dealer!" the policewoman joked.

"Ha, ha. But I have some prospects for acting jobs; I haven't given up on that yet."

"And you shouldn't. You're so pretty!" Lopez said, admiringly. "And Leonard? I know he's a scientist. What's he like?"

"Well, he's really smart. Actually, he's a genius. He might win a Nobel Prize someday," she said with pride. Penny wasn't sure this was true, but if Sheldon could say it about himself, she could say it about Leonard.

"So you weren't just saving him for yourself, you were saving him for mankind," Lopez joked.

Penny answered earnestly, "Definitely for myself. Leonard is such a great guy. I've never been with a man who treated me so well. He's kind, and generous, and funny…" her voice trailed off and her eyes betrayed a sense of worry.

"So how did the actress and the scientist meet?" the police officer continued, trying to keep the conversation going until Penny was comfortable talking about whatever was bothering her.

Penny told the story of their eight-year courtship as Lopez listened sympathetically. "What a beautiful story," she said. "I hope someday my boys find girls to love them as much as you love Leonard."

The young woman nodded, but she again seemed troubled as she looked down at the floor. "Can I talk to you about something? It doesn't have much to do with this...incident, but I feel like I need to talk to somebody. And you've been so nice to me..."

"Of course. What is it?"

"In the car, before it broke down, we had a huge fight. Leonard told me that about two years ago, while he was away for a few months on a science expedition, he kissed another girl. And he hid it from me for two years. I was furious."

The officer nodded sympathetically. She had learned, after 15 years on the force, that the less she said, the more they talked.

"I went to sleep last night in the motel so angry at him – just like they say not to do, not to go to sleep angry. And pretty much the next time I saw him was when he was being choked to death. Then all I could think about was that I might never see him alive again. I really thought he was dying; in fact, after I knocked Donny out and looked at Leonard, I thought he was dead. It was probably the worst moment of my life." Penny was biting her lower lip and trying not to cry. She stopped talking for a few moments, as Lopez waited patiently.

"Do you know what he said to me when he woke up?" she asked.

Lopez shook her head.

"He said that he thought he was going to die. And that as he was dying all he could think about was that I was angry with him and that he hoped I could forgive him. I thought I was going to faint when he told me that. I mean, I can't even imagine what that must be like, to know that you're going to die and have your last thought be that somebody you love is angry at you."

"It made me think," Penny said. "I know that I had a good reason to be angry with him. But that seems like such a tiny thing now. He took on a man twice his size to protect me. He was willing to die for me. He almost did die. I try to remember being angry at him, but all I really want to do is hold him and not let him out of my sight forever." She shook her head. "Everything feels different somehow..."

Office Lopez let her stop and decided to speak. "Seeing somebody die changes your life. I've seen a few people die. They weren't good people – gang members, drug dealers – but they were people. One minute they are alive, looking at you and talking to you; the next minute they…aren't. And the worst part is the families. Even bad people can have good families: mothers, brothers, children. You have to tell a mother or a sister that their son or brother is dead, and you can see what they're thinking: I never got to say goodbye, I never got to tell him I loved him, I'll never see him again."

Penny was keenly following every word as Lopez continued: "You just went through one of the most terrifying experiences there is: you watched someone you love come close to dying. You will probably never think about life, or about that person, the same way again."

"I know, right?" Penny nodded. " _Life is short_. That didn't mean anything to me until today. Now I can't stop thinking about it."

"My husband says that as we grow up we learn, but as we grow older we understand," Lopez observed.

"That's good. I like it." Another troubled look crossed her face. "But it made me worry about me and Leonard. He's so into me, I still can't really believe it's happening to me. And now more than ever, I want to be there for him the way he has been for me. But I don't know if I am strong enough. I don't think that I could have stood there with that monster bearing down on me, waiting to die." She stopped, full of self-doubt.

Lopez looked at the young woman with sympathy. "There's something called 'survivor guilt:' the individual who survives thinks he's somehow less worthy. It sounds to me like you've got a little of that. But remember that you're the one who saved his life. It took real courage for you to do what you did, attacking a huge man with just a baseball bat. It's not as though you weren't in danger; you could have been killed, too."

"Sure," Penny said, not really convinced. "But I had no choice, I was already in there; Leonard came in on purpose to try to save me. And that's the story of us. He's the one who does the big things for us, for me. I've always been on the receiving end. Maybe one reason that business about kissing another girl hit me so hard was that it was one of the few times he'd done anything to hurt me. But I've hurt him so many times: little things, like ruining a date, or big things, like breaking up with him. I always took for granted that he'd be there, that I could rely on him. That…that was not fair, really. I don't think I've been serious enough about us. And I wonder whether I really _can_ love him the way he deserves." The young woman was on the verge of crying again.

"Trust me," Lopez said confidently, "you love him more than enough. The way you talk about him, the way you look at him. At the motel, when you were trying to get Leonard to respond, nothing else mattered in the world. It was the picture of true love, believe me."

"But it's not just that," Penny continued, clearly still upset and uncertain. "There are times when I don't feel like I understand him. And that bothers me. Leonard 'gets' me, but I don't feel like I 'get' him. He knows what I'm thinking and feeling, and then he knows how to do the right thing – well, at least most of the time. It's like he can imagine what it's like to be me. But me, I can't think what it's like to be him. And I don't know that I ever really tried to understand him the way he tries to understand me. What kind of wife would that make me?"

Lopez looked kindly at the young woman. "People are different, and it takes time to truly know somebody. And I'm guessing that Leonard is _really_ different from anyone you've known." Penny nodded vigorously. "You might not understand him completely yet, but that will come. You're still young and you two aren't even married yet. Wait until you have children; then you'll see a whole different side of Leonard."

"Oh," Penny said earnestly, "he's going to be an incredible father. He had a terrible childhood. His mother is a famous psychiatrist, but she's got a lot of crazy theories. She doesn't recognize any of his accomplishments, or appreciate anything he does. Do you know that she has never told him she loved him? Never once in his entire life. I can't even think about that without wanting to slap her around. So Leonard will do everything to give our children the childhood he didn't have. I know that. He'll be the most amazing father."

Lopez smiled. "So you _do_ understand him."

"Oh. Maybe. About some things." Penny sighed.

"And, by the way, you just said ' _our_ children,' didn't you?" Penny blushed.

Lopez hesitated, then continued. "Can I give you a stranger's impressions, and some unsolicited advice?" Penny nodded eagerly. "To me it's obvious that you decided that Leonard was the one for you a long time ago. It's only natural that as you come closer to getting married you'll have doubts, and questions. So maybe you feel that the relationship has been one-sided, and that you should be working harder to know your future husband. And maybe this horrible experience today has made you think about that even more. Well, now's your chance. He's going to need a lot of attention over the next few weeks. You can use this time together to reconnect, and get to know him that much better."

"That's right!" Penny exclaimed, her eyes shining with new-found enthusiasm. "He needs me, and I will be there for him, no matter what." She seemed more relaxed now. "Thank you, Teri. That really helped. But I want to be with Leonard now. I miss him. Is that all right?"

"Sure. But first you owe me and the doctor a visit to Radiology for some quick X-rays. No more excuses."

"All right," Penny said sheepishly. They walked together down to Radiology, and Officer Lopez waited for the few minutes the procedure took. The technician took a quick look and said he didn't see anything to worry about, but would leave the final call to the doctor.

As the two women walked back to Leonard's room, Penny put her arm on Officer Lopez's and stopped her in the hallway. She looked at her with gratitude: "I want to thank you for everything. I'm not sure I could have gotten through all this without your help. I mean it."

Officer Lopez looked back warmly. "It was my pleasure, Penny. And my duty. I only ask one thing."

"What's that?"

"Invite me and my husband to the wedding."

"Deal!" Penny smiled, reminding herself to tell Leonard about the additional guests.

"And now, you can go back to the man himself," Lopez said as they arrived back at the room. "He needs you now, even more than you need him. But try to get some rest."


	16. Chapter 16

Penny went back to Leonard's room and stood looking at him for a few minutes. He was very still, but at least he didn't seem to be in pain. She got her phone and charger, plugged them in, and sent a long group text to their friends. She tried to explain what happened without being too alarming – she could just see Sheldon freaking out. She emphasized that they were all right. She insisted that they not come to Barstow, otherwise she knew they'd be on the road in a minute. She justified it by saying that she and Leonard wanted some time alone. That wasn't quite true, of course: Leonard was out like a light. But it _was_ true that she wanted to be alone with Leonard for a while.

She sat down, then thought about something else. She pulled out her phone, went to a corner of the room, and called her parents' home in Nebraska. She figured they were probably in town for the Saturday night dinner dance. Nevertheless, she wanted to hear their voices. The answering machine picked up and she listened to the two of them give their corny greeting in singsong unison. Penny smiled and left a short message, just that she wanted to say hello. She'd tell them the events of the day later. It wasn't something you left on an answering machine.

Outside the door to the hospital room, officers Lopez and Brennan gathered their belongings as their relief arrived. Lopez looked into the room and rapped on the window in the door. She mouthed "Good bye" when Penny turned around, and indicated they'd be back tomorrow. Penny gave the thumbs-up.

Penny sat on the bed next to Leonard, and stared at her fiancé. His breathing was regular, although it was still rasping and shallow. The doctor said it would take a while for him to heal. Penny would take care of him. Now and forever. She looked at her little hero and tried to picture what it would be like to be inside that amazing mind. Forget about the science, she would never have access to that. But how to imagine being Leonard, the person?

She closed her eyes and tried to visualize standing firm as an attacker twice her size charged. She imagined those hands around her neck, squeezing ever more tightly, and she shuddered. Penny put her hands over her ears, her eyes still closed, and tried to think what it must have felt like to believe you were dying. Then she opened her eyes and took her hands off her ears. She envisioned the shock of waking up in the hospital room and realizing you were still alive. And she thought she could conjure up in her own mind a little bit of what motivated Leonard: the determination, the persistence, the insecurity, the need to be loved. Above all, the depth of feeling, the profound emotions.

The young woman remembered the look on Leonard's face when he opened his eyes in the hospital and saw Penny: relief, happiness, love. Then guilt bordering on panic. The fact that when he awoke and realized he was still alive, the first things on his mind were to make sure she was all right and then to beg her forgiveness. She shook her head at this last. But it was him. He needed to know that she still loved him. He would need to know this often, more often than she had been used to telling him. She would have to make up for that, to give him the reassurance that he deserved. Maybe she _did_ understand him, sort of.

She sighed. They had been through so much: the last eight years, the past 24 hours. Momentum again, she thought, smiling at her little scientific analogy. There was the mass of their long courtship and relationship, times the velocity of recent events. The product was pushing them forward with great force. Especially her.

Penny realized now that she was in, all in. For the first time, really, she wanted to open herself to Leonard totally, to surrender herself to him – to their relationship – completely. She was not sure how to do it, or how well she would succeed, but she wanted to try.

Penny smoothed Leonard's covers and drew the sheet up to his neck. She carefully brushed the hair out of his eyes, straightened his left arm so the IV lined up, positioned his right hand so the finger splint was resting comfortably.

She sank into the armchair, pushed it into a reclining position, and closed her eyes. It had been a terrible day. Was it weird that things seemed good now? She didn't know. She decided it didn't really matter. She had never felt so at peace with herself, so in love with the man she was going to marry, so happy.


	17. Chapter 17

The next day and a half passed in a whirlwind of activity. Penny barely had a chance to think as Leonard was moved upstairs, bandaged and unbandaged, poked and probed, and looked in upon by doctors and nurses. The two of them met separately with police officers – both officers Lopez and Brennan and a couple of detectives who were a lot more formal, both in attire and in manner. Through it all, Leonard was recovering as well as could be expected. Between painkillers and his injuries, Leonard was sleeping about 18 hours a day, but that was a good thing. On Monday afternoon the young doctor overseeing the case spoke to Penny in the family lounge down the hall from Leonard's room, as Leonard slept.

"Leonard is doing quite well, and there is really no further need for hospitalization. He can recover just as well at home as here. So let's talk about the recovery. The dislocated shoulder is already fine, although he'll probably be sore. The broken finger will need to be splinted for another couple of weeks. There's really not much to do for the fractured ribs other than manage the pain and avoid strenuous physical activity. His bruising is quite severe and I think you will need to keep an eye on it to make sure that the swelling continues to go down. As you know, we've been taping his chest both for the ribs and for the bruising. Annie here," he indicated the nurse standing behind him, "will show you how to remove and renew his bandages and the finger splint. All of this is straightforward and I'm not concerned about it. The recovery can be slow – sometimes the fractured ribs will be painful for several months – but Leonard is young and in good shape so with a lot of bed rest and," he smiled, "you next to him, he'll probably be able to return to limited activities, like work and driving, in about three weeks."

"As you have found out, eating will be hard with all the bruising around his neck and throat. His jaw is also quite sore. I know you've tried soups and that's worked pretty well. We'll be giving you some nutritional supplements that you can use with soy milk – I know he's lactose intolerant – and it would probably be a good idea to keep these up until he can get back to something like a normal diet. That should also be two or three weeks, I think. So everything looks really good."

The doctor paused. "There is a but. Probably the most serious concern is his trachea. Now, I don't want to alarm you, but tracheal injuries can be insidious. We have really only provided emergency care for him here. When you get back to Los Angeles I want you to have Leonard's PCP contact me so we can talk. I want to make sure that he schedules a complete bronchoscopy in the next week or so. Given what I've seen, I doubt there is any damage to the trachea that needs surgical repair, but only a very thorough bronchoscopic exam can tell for sure."

The doctor looked at Penny, whose eyes were wide and looked increasingly frightened. He decided that this was enough information for now. Nothing other than the most basic treatment was really important; mostly Leonard needed bed rest.

"OK, that's enough for now. Penny, I'm going to write up some detailed notes for you about his care, and Annie will do the same about some of the related issues. I've entered Leonard's full medical record here into Kaiser's electronic system so that his providers in LA should already have it. Just to make sure, I'll also give you a hard copy for yourself and Leonard, and in case you need to pass it along to any other providers. Do you have any questions?"

Penny was clearly overwhelmed with the information. Up until the mention of the tracheal injury she had been following fine, but the thought that there might be something more serious to discover unnerved her. She tried to think of questions. Only one came to mind, and she was embarrassed by it.

"So you said no strenuous physical activity? What exactly does he need to avoid?" she asked.

"Certainly no contact sports, I'd say no real exercise for at least a month, no heavy lifting either. I don't know if he jogs or works out, but I'd stay away from anything like that for a month, too."

"OK," Penny said hesitantly. "Is there any other strenuous physical activity he can't do?"

The doctor thought and said, "What did you have in mind?"

Annie, the nurse standing behind the doctor, leaned over and whispered something in his ear. The doctor blushed beet red and said, "Oh. If you mean, can he have sex, the answer is yes. But you should be guided by how he feels…I mean, he should tell you if he feels something …" the doctor was so flustered that he stopped talking. Penny was blushing almost as red as the doctor.

Annie gave a raucous laugh and said, "Doctor, I'll take it from here. I think I can give Penny the information she needs."

The doctor mumbled his thanks and quickly left the room, promising to see them the next day before discharge.

Penny could feel her color returning to normal as the doctor exited hurriedly. She looked at the nurse and the two burst out laughing.

"He's so cute when he's embarrassed," Annie said.

"Oooh, is there something going on there?" Penny asked suggestively.

"Well, if he'd ever pay attention there would be. He's so shy I can barely get him to look at me."

Penny smiled. "If it's any consolation, that's how Leonard was when I met him. Just keep trying. He seems so nice and gentle. But tell me, what's the deal with sex?"

Annie smiled, "Pretty much it's whatever doesn't hurt Leonard. That's what the doctor was trying to say – just make sure nothing causes pain, especially around the rib cage or his throat. Not to be too graphic, but I think for a few weeks you should be on top. His fractured ribs and all the bruising on his upper torso are the main concern, and we wouldn't want to aggravate the injuries. But other than that, go wild. So to speak."

Penny smiled and thanked Annie. As she left the room, Penny turned to her next task: preparing their friends for Leonard's return. She and Leonard had spoken about what to do, and now she had to put the plan into action. She wrote a group email to five of their friends – Amy, Bernadette, Howard, Raj, and Emily. Sheldon would require special treatment. The email read:

 _To our dear friends,_

 _We both want you to know how much we love you all and look forward to seeing you soon back home. Leonard will be released from the hospital here tomorrow (Tuesday) and we should be home by mid-afternoon. He is recovering well but he was very seriously injured and it will be many weeks before he is back to normal._

 _We really want to see you all. However, Leonard needs lots of rest, and frankly he and I are spending just about 24 hours a day together. The recovery is not just physical; we went through some pretty horrific traumas and we need to heal together. Just so you know, the experience has brought us much closer and you have nothing to worry about: our love is strong, and so are our bodies and minds. We will be just fine, but we do need time._

 _We'd like to ask you for a few things. First, when you visit – and we hope you will visit us often! – please text me (Penny) in advance so we can make sure the time is good. And please, no more than two people at a time to visit, and for now the visits should probably not be for more than 30 minutes. Second, not to be pushy but you all know my cooking, so any food you'd like to bring over would be really appreciated. Remember that Leonard had serious injuries to his neck and throat, which are still very sore, so the food needs to be either liquid or quite soft. Soups, soft foods like mashed potatoes, things like that are fine. The doctors think that within a week or two he will be able to have a more varied diet. Third, when you visit please do not mention the events here. They were terrible enough without our having to re-live them or explain them. Someday we will walk you through the whole thing, but that day is not now. Finally, and I direct this to all of you, please take care of Sheldon for us. Leonard and I will not really be able to do much for him for many weeks: no rides to work, no shopping, no comic book store. You all know how much Sheldon has relied on Leonard, and this will be hard for him. I will be talking to Sheldon separately but I know he will need your support._

 _I'm sorry for the group email, and I'm sorry that it's full of "don'ts" but I am sure you can imagine how worried I have been about Leonard. I will tell you just one thing to give you an idea – and then I don't want to mention it again for a long time. At one point I thought Leonard was dead. I will never forget that moment as long as I live, and I am still far from having recovered from that moment. It will be many months before I will be able to think about Leonard without having the picture of him lying there and me believing he was dead come to my mind. I'm saying this because I want all of you to understand that we are still in a pretty fragile state. And if we say or do anything that seems insensitive, or seems to imply that we don't love you, it's just because we are still sort of in shock._

 _We love you all dearly and we can't wait to see you all. Leonard has been so excited about coming home that I've had trouble getting him to sleep. Thank you all for being in our lives, and thank you all for understanding._

 _So much love from both of us,_

 _Penny and Leonard_

Penny re-read the email several times, then sent it off. And now the harder part. She and Sheldon had arranged for a video-chat at 5 PM, which was ten minutes off. She gathered her thoughts and at 5, opened the connection.

Sheldon answered and Penny was shocked at his appearance. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was uncombed, and his face was red. Despite the hour, he was in his bathrobe.

"Sheldon, are you sick?" Penny asked.

Sheldon looked distracted. "Oh, yes, I have, I don't know, a cold or flu. I didn't go to work today. I'm trying to get the apartment ready for Leonard. I'm all right and I am sure that I am not infectious now." But he didn't really look all right, Penny thought.

"Sweetie, you need to get some rest. Don't worry about the apartment, I'll take care of it when we get back. Sheldon, I need to talk to you about some things. They're a little difficult. Are you sure you're in condition to talk? They can wait until tomorrow."

"No, no, whatever you want is fine. I'm really looking forward to seeing you and Leonard."

"OK," Penny said, dreading a bit what she was going to have to tell Sheldon now. "Sweetie, I know you realize that Leonard was injured. But I may have downplayed it a little so as not to worry you. He was very seriously hurt; in fact, he was close to death."

Penny heard and saw Sheldon's very sharp intake of breath. She knew this was a shock to the physicist, who did not deal well with disease and injury.

"But," she hastened to add, "he's doing just fine now. There's no danger at all. The main continuing effect is that he has trouble speaking above a whisper. However, there are some implications, and they will affect you. Please try to understand, and try to be flexible and supportive. This is a time when Leonard really needs you to help. And so do I. Do you understand?"

Sheldon looked at her very seriously. "Of course, Penny. I will cooperate in whatever manner you believe is necessary. I don't want to do anything that would impede Leonard's full recovery. And I want you to tell me everything that you would like me to do."

Penny was mightily impressed. This was quite a mature Sheldon. "That's wonderful, sweetie. Well, the thing is that Leonard really needs and wants my care. So when we get back I'm going to be staying with him. That means 24/7 – sleeping over and everything. Now I know that violates the Roommate Agreement and probably a lot of other agreements, but you have to admit these are extenuating circumstances. If you would prefer us to sleep in my apartment, we can do that. But I'm not going to leave him alone," she said, firmly, expecting an argument.

Sheldon shook his head vigorously. "You should both stay in Leonard's room. Our apartment is bigger, and Leonard's things are all there. Plus I can be there to help," he added shyly, "that is if you need help and don't mind my being around."

"Of course not, and that's really wonderful of you, Sheldon," Penny said. She was quite amazed at Sheldon's attitude, which seemed nearly normal – as in, normal for a normal human being. Something was definitely different. But she continued. "There's something else. The two of us went through some very difficult times and we need a lot of time to ourselves to help heal, both physically and emotionally. You know we were going to get married when this all happened. Well, of course we didn't get married, but we are coming back much, much closer than when we left. So I need to ask you to try to respect our privacy as best you can. I know you love Leonard and that you rely on him for a lot of things, but right now Leonard and I need to be focusing on each other. Can you understand that? I know it's hard, honey, and Leonard will be back to normal soon, but for now I need you to let Leonard be with me, and me be with him."

Sheldon nodded solemnly. "I do understand that. I understand that this is Leonard's life we're talking about. And yours with him." He sniffed a little and Penny was sure she saw a tear form in one eye.

"Sheldon, honey, are you crying?"

"No, of course not!" came the angry reply. Then, much more softly, "Yes. I'm sorry. Yes, I am crying. I've been crying a lot. I lied before. I'm not sick. I've been crying for a couple of days. I feel like my world is completely unrecognizable." Sheldon knew that Penny would assume this was about Leonard and her, and she was part right. He knew it was also about Amy. But he had resolved not to burden Penny with his silly romantic problems when Leonard's life was at stake. He had to be brave. And to lie.

"Sheldon, please don't worry. Leonard is all right. I've been with him day and night, and he's the same old Leonard. None of his injuries are going to last for long. Things will be back to normal soon. I know how much you hate change, but this is just temporary."

"Oh, Penny, that's not it. When I heard that you and Leonard had been attacked I think I was more afraid than I have ever been. You two are my best friends in the world, and I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to you two. I want to do everything I can to make things easier for the two of you."

Penny was truly moved by Sheldon's new-found maturity. "You already have, Sheldon. We'll talk more when we get home. For now, get some rest and don't worry about us. Take care of yourself and we'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

"I will, Penny. And you take care of Leonard and take care of yourself too. I'll see you tomorrow."

Penny closed her laptop and walked back to Leonard's room shaking her head. She had never seen Sheldon act so mature. The incident had really shaken him up. She couldn't wait to see how this affected his relationship with Amy.

* * *

By 7 PM Monday evening the gang, minus Sheldon, was gathered in Howard and Bernadette's apartment for Thai food. Bernadette, ever the sensible one, had called a group meeting, and she started things off.

"We all got that email. I don't know about any of you, but I cried for about a half hour when I got it. The thought of Penny seeing Leonard lying dead, for all she believed, is just too horrible. But those two are strong people, and we need to be strong for them."

They all nodded. Amy and Emily were sniffling ominously, and Raj had broken down completely. Even Howard seemed on the verge of tears.

"I didn't ask Sheldon here for two reasons. First, Penny didn't send that email to him and as you all know there were things in there that she didn't want him to see. Second…well, for the second I think I have to ask Amy to say something."

Amy looked down at the ground for a moment, then up at them. "I want you all to know that what's happening with Leonard and Penny is the most important thing in my life right now, as I am sure it is for all of you. I don't want to take anything away from that. But there's something going on with Sheldon and me that has to be addressed, because it will affect how we deal with Leonard and Penny when they are back here."

Howard, Raj, and Emily looked curiously at Amy, who cleared her throat and began speaking again. "As Bernadette knows, a few days ago I told Sheldon that I was having some real doubts about our relationship and that I needed to take a break from it. My intention was to avoid contact with him for a few weeks to see how I felt going forward. This was before the events with Leonard and Penny – I would never have done it then if I had known how bad the timing was. But what's done is done. Now, for Leonard and Penny's sake, of course I will be seeing Sheldon. However, it will be uncomfortable for both of us. I haven't spoken to Sheldon about the situation, and frankly I don't want to. I was hoping that one of you," she said, looking at Howard and Raj, "could talk to him. I'll be coming over to visit Leonard and Penny, and helping every other way – including driving Sheldon as necessary – but I haven't changed my mind about needing a break. I want him to understand that, and I'm not sure that he can or will."

Raj and Howard looked at each other. "We'll talk to him," Howard said. "But what exactly would you like us to tell him?"

Amy thought a bit. "Make clear that I still want to take a break to think things over. You might try to explain that this does not mean I am breaking up with him, just wanting some time to think. But then also make clear that just because I'm going to be around his house does not mean that I want to talk to him. I'll be there for Leonard and Penny, that's all. I'll exchange pleasantries with Sheldon, especially to keep up appearances so that Leonard and Penny don't have to worry, but I have no intention of starting back up with him while all this is still going on. Does that make sense?"

"Sure," Howard said. "And I guess from what you said, you don't want us mentioning anything about this to Leonard or Penny? You do realize that Sheldon probably will, though – I'm sure it's really affecting him, and he tells those two everything."

"If they hear about it from Sheldon, so be it," Amy said grimly. "But I still don't really want to talk to Sheldon. And, frankly, I'd be more comfortable if nothing was said about it generally. This is really between Sheldon and me; and, to be blunt, it's really about me having the time and space to think things over. I hope you all can respect that."

Everyone present nodded assent.

After an uncomfortable pause, Bernadette started up again. "I've prepared a couple of Google docs to help us work out a schedule for Sheldon, for food and other supplies. Somebody needs to take Sheldon to and from work, and I suppose to other events. Then I think we should divide up the week so that they get some decent prepared food every day. And we can also do the shopping for them. We can either take Sheldon shopping, or ask them for a list and buy for them. Plus there may be other errands we can help out with. I'll volunteer to keep the list and make sure it's complete, for being in touch with Penny to see what they need and then for contacting people to see who can help. I think you should all think about when you're available and what you'd like to be responsible for."

The group dissolved into a series of conversations among couples and between individuals and Bernadette as the scheduling was arranged.

Howard spoke up, as the schedule filled up. "Sheldon can be a handful, and I am a little worried about his being around the apartment so much when Penny and Leonard are there. Those two are going to need a lot of alone time. So in addition to making sure Sheldon gets to work, I think Raj and I should try to take him out of the apartment as much as possible in the evenings. We can take him to the usual places – the comic book store, the train store, movies. But maybe we can all commit ourselves to inviting him over for dinner on a regular basis. I just think keeping him out of the apartment is a good idea. Sorry, Amy, I mean no offense to him, but I think it's true."

Amy concurred, "You're right. I just don't want to participate in keeping Sheldon busy. But I think it would be very good for Penny and Leonard if you did get him out of there whenever possible."

"Raj and I can take him to the comic book store Wednesday evening," said Howard. "I'll see what else we can arrange for other evenings this week and next."

Before people began to eat, Bernadette stopped everyone. "One more thing. We all know from the news that Penny's been skirting around some of the details about what happened to them. It has to be the case that she never saw the press reports. So let's keep it that way. It will fade from the papers soon, and so there's no need for them to see the coverage until they're better prepared. OK?" Everyone nodded.

After dinner, as the friends milled around the living room chatting, Bernadette approached Amy. Quietly she said, "Did you notice anything unusual in Penny's email?"

Amy eyed the short blonde cautiously. "Actually, yes. It was probably the most serious and mature thing I've ever heard or read from Penny. If I didn't know better I'd have said somebody else wrote it. I guess this experience really affected her. I guess in a good way. I suppose we'll see."

"Exactly my thoughts," Bernadette said. "And listen, if you need to talk about Sheldon anytime, just call me. I know that you and Penny are very close, but she'll be otherwise engaged for a while. So just think of me as a temporary replacement."

Amy smiled warmly. "You're no temporary replacement, Bernadette. You're my other best friend forever. You can never have too many of them, you know. I think we all need to support each other now. But yes, thanks; I will certainly take you up on that offer. In fact, let's try to get together for drinks later this week, OK?"

"Absolutely. Any day but Friday works for me."


	18. Chapter 18

They had forgotten the small detail of four flights of stairs. It took Leonard a good fifteen minutes to make it up to the fourth floor, stopping at least twice each floor. He was still short of breath when Penny unlocked the door to Apartment 4A. They stepped in to find Sheldon waiting expectantly, sitting at the kitchen island facing the door. Penny saw that he had shaved, washed up, and looked a little less puffy. As soon as they entered, he stood up and began to walk, almost run, toward the couple. Then he seemed to have second thoughts and stopped short. Penny looked at him tenderly and said, "It's all right, Sheldon, we're not made of glass. You can come over here."

Sheldon practically sprinted to them then. He hesitated in front of Leonard for a moment, looking at the bruises and bandages. "I don't think I should hug him, should I?" he asked Penny.

Leonard looked startled. Penny said, "No, that's probably not a good idea." Sheldon stood awkwardly in front of Leonard.

Penny tapped Sheldon on the shoulder. "You can hug me, sweetie." And he did. For at least five Mississippis. Penny looked over Sheldon's shoulder at Leonard. The two shared a look that was part amazement, part concern. Neither had ever seen Sheldon act like this.

Sheldon released Penny and took a deep breath. "Welcome home," he said. "I have tea for both of you. Please sit down, let me take your bags," he continued, taking the overnight back and hospital bag from Penny. The couple sat on the couch. Leonard still had some trouble sitting comfortably, but they were marveling at Sheldon's behavior and neither wanted to lose the moment.

Sheldon returned with their teas and sat in his spot looking at them. "Oh, before I forget. Leonard, Michael called a couple of hours ago. He would like to come out to see you. I didn't know what to tell him, but I said you'd be home soon and that you would be in touch. Was that all right? I know you haven't spoken to him much lately."

Leonard looked a little sad, but whispered, "That was fine; I'll call him later."

Penny looked at her fiancé with concern, and said, "All right, mister, time for bed. Sorry, Sheldon, but Leonard has had a lot more exertion than he should have. We forgot all about the stairs. He needs to get to bed."

"Oh, of course," Sheldon said apologetically. "Let me bring the bags and teas into Leonard's, uh, your room." And he led the way to their room.

After Sheldon left them alone in Leonard's bedroom, Leonard and Penny looked at each other uneasily. "That was so weird," Leonard whispered. "I know," agreed Penny. "But for now we're going to get you into something comfortable and slide into bed." This accomplished and Leonard about to doze off he said to Penny, "I guess I'm all right with Michael coming. I wonder how he found out. But I don't feel like talking to him, could you call him and tell him it's all right? Sheldon has the number." Penny nodded, waited for Leonard to fall asleep, and went out to the living room.

Sheldon was sitting quietly on his spot on the couch.

Penny sat in the armchair and smiled at him warmly. "Sheldon, I want you to know that we couldn't have asked for a more wonderful welcome home. Both Leonard and I were truly touched."

Sheldon smiled wanly. "That's good. I thought a lot about what I should do. I decided that tea and hugs were appropriate. And what's more, I wanted to hug you both. I really did."

Penny saw that he was about to cry again, and quickly changed the subject. "Can I have Michael's number? Leonard wants me to call him to tell him it would be all right for him to visit."

Sheldon gave Penny the number, which she called immediately. Michael picked up.

"Michael, this is Penny, Leonard's fiancée."

"Fiancée?! I guess congratulations are in order, then. It's good to talk to you after all these years hearing about you, Penny. Thanks for calling back. How is Leonard doing? His injuries sounded very serious."

"They were, but his recovery is going well. Leonard is resting now but he wanted me to tell you that he'd love to see you if you came out."

"That's wonderful. I was planning to be there this weekend. I've already got a flight and hotel reserved. Is that all right?"

Penny paused. It was a little soon, but after all, this was Leonard's brother. "Sure. But Leonard doesn't have much energy and we're limiting visits. Nothing personal. You'll be stuck with me, mostly, I guess."

"That would be wonderful anyway. I arrive Friday afternoon. I'll call you before I come over to the apartment."

When Penny got off the phone, she looked at Sheldon. "Sheldon, tell me something. I have never wanted to ask Leonard about this because it seemed such a painful topic to him, but what happened between him and Michael? When we first met Leonard couldn't stop talking about his brilliant younger brother. But at some point it all stopped and I don't think he ever mentioned him again. What happened?"

Sheldon looked carefully at Penny. "Your memory is accurate. For the first few years I knew Leonard he and Michael were close, and Leonard was very proud of Michael. But it all stopped almost exactly five years ago. In fact, I believe the distance between them started to grow around the time Michael got tenure at Harvard Law. I never wanted to ask Leonard about it, but Beverly said it was because Leonard was so jealous."

Penny looked shocked. "I don't believe that for a minute. I remember him bragging to me that Michael had just become the youngest person ever to get tenure at Harvard Law School. No jealousy at all. And I remember him being happy that Michael was engaged to be married, a little after that. But that was the last time I ever heard Leonard say his name."

"I suppose we might find out this weekend," Penny concluded. "But now, tell me a little about what's going on around here. I assume you and Amy patched things up after that fight?"

Penny immediately knew that she had made a huge mistake. And she also suddenly knew what was wrong with Sheldon – besides being worried about Leonard. Because Sheldon almost instantly dissolved into wracking sobs.

The slender physicist was shaking his head as if to try to ward off the pain. Penny was not sure what to do; she had never seen Sheldon in such a state. All she could think of was a Sheldonian hot beverage. But she didn't want to leave Sheldon.

"It's all right, honey," she said helplessly. "Why don't you tell me what the problem is?"

Sheldon shook his head even more vigorously. "No, no. It's just some trivial relationship issues between Amy and me. I really do not want to burden you with any of it at a time like this. Let's just forget about it." And he tried to stop the sobbing.

Penny felt that it might in fact be better if she gave him some time, so she got up and started preparing Sheldon the proverbial hot beverage. "Tea or cocoa, sweetie?"

"Cocoa, please. Would little marshmallows be possible?" he replied, timidly.

"Of course." After a few minutes Penny brought Sheldon his mug. The crying had stopped.

"Sheldon, I want you to tell me what happened. You're my friend, and you're suffering. That's important to me. I know you may think this is the wrong time, but it is never the wrong time to be open and truthful with a friend. I'm serious."

Sheldon looked pathetic. "I didn't want to say anything at all. You two are dealing with problems that are so much more important, and so much more serious. I have no business imposing on you."

"It's not an imposition. You know Leonard and I care about you. We would be really hurt if you didn't feel you could talk to us. I mean it, Sheldon. Plus it might help me take my mind off other matters, like worrying about Leonard. So out with it: what happened?"

Sheldon sighed. "All right. I'll tell you what happened. But I want you to promise me that after I tell you, you'll go be with Leonard. I don't want us to talk about it now. We shall have plenty of time for that. Right now Leonard's health, and yours, are more important."

Wow, Penny thought. It was as if Sheldon had aged ten years in the three days they'd been gone. "You've got a deal."

Sheldon started, clinically. "Saturday evening, after you two left, I initiated a video chat with Amy. As you know, she had been upset with me, for reasons that I think you accurately explained. I began to try to explain myself when she interrupted my presentation with a preemptive announcement of her own. She said that she had been finding our relationship challenging, both emotionally and physically. And she said that she needed, and I quote, 'some time to take a step back and re-evaluate our situation.' So while I am not sure I can interpret her sentiments with complete accuracy, I believe that she wants to place our relationship on hiatus, and that there is a possibility that she may decide to terminate it."

Penny took a deep breath. It would be hard for her not to continue the conversation, but she had promised. "All right, Sheldon. Thank you for telling me. I just want to say one thing. Amy said she wants to take a step back to re-evaluate. That does not necessarily mean she wants to break up with you. There's nothing wrong with thinking hard about your relationship and how it might be improved. I can tell you that I've done an awful lot of thinking about my relationship with Leonard over the past couple of days."

Sheldon looked up at her, stricken. "You're not thinking of breaking up with him again, are you?"

"God, no. Quite the opposite. I am trying to figure out how to make our relationship stronger. I think I've been lazy, letting Leonard take too much responsibility for our moving forward. I want to get us on an healthier path, so that we can have the kind of marriage that I've always dreamed of and that I know I can have with him. That's all I mean: I need to make more of an effort." She was choosing her words carefully. Everything she said was accurate, and described her thinking. But she realized that perhaps it would dawn on Sheldon that something similar could be applied to his relationship with Amy.

Sheldon smiled. "Very clever, missy. I know you're serious about that. But don't think you fool me for a minute – that was meant as a sermon to me, too. I'll forgive it this time because, well, because you're right. But no more talking. Get in there to Leonard."

Penny smiled warmly, got up and touched Sheldon lightly on his shoulder. "Can't fool a genius, can I? Good night, Sheldon. Get some sleep, you really don't look so hot." And she padded off to Leonard's room.

Leonard's his eyes opened sleepily when she opened the door. They smiled at each other as Penny got ready to climb into bed. It was barely dinnertime, but they were both exhausted. Leonard would probably sleep until the next morning, and Penny might too. But first Leonard looked at her quizzically. "So?" She knew what he meant: how was Sheldon?

At the hospital they had settled on a way of talking without straining Leonard's voice. He turned on his side and Penny propped him up with pillows behind his back and under his head. Then she lay on her side towards him, their faces just six inches apart. Leonard could talk, then, in something even less than a whisper, using almost nothing of his vocal cords, and Penny could understand everything. They did this now, but first Penny gave Leonard a quick kiss, very gently, on his lips.

"Amy told him that she wanted to take some time off from their relationship," she said simply.

"Oh, no," Leonard said, starting to sit up. Penny pulled him back down. "How is he doing? He must be devastated."

"He's not happy, but he made me promise that we wouldn't talk to him about it now. He wants us to concentrate on your recovery. So let's just leave him. I think he'll be all right. He certainly seems to have matured in three days, I have no idea how."

"I know. Maybe the combination of being faced with losing Amy, and losing us, forced him to think about things. He's gotten better at dealing with emotions, after all. Although the way he greeted us still shocked me."

Penny nodded. "I need to talk with Amy. She needs to know that Sheldon is capable of more than she may give him credit for. But for now we both need to rest." She removed the pillows and rearranged Leonard so he was on his back, the only position he could really sleep in these days.

"Are you comfy, honey?"

Leonard smiled. "Very. As long as you stay here."

"Forever. Figuratively, I mean. Not literally," she said, smiling – the lesson about misusing "literally" having sunk in.

"Who's the genius now?" Leonard said, dozing off. Penny gazed at him for a long time as he slept. Finally she turned out the lamp on the side table and closed her eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

Penny woke up with a start and looked at the clock. 8.15. She'd slept for a couple of hours. Then she realized that the sun was shining through the window of Leonard's room, and she looked back at the clock. 8.15 AM. Wednesday. She had slept all evening and all night. Must have been really tired, she said to herself. Leonard was still sound asleep, so Penny quietly crept out of bed and into the living room. Sheldon was nowhere to be found; she guessed he had gone into work. She made herself some coffee and prepared herself for her next difficult task. After looking in on Leonard again, she went back to the living room, sat on the couch, took out her phone, and dialed.

"Hi, Mom," she said when the telephone was answered, "it's me. Listen, is Daddy there? I need to talk to both of you about something."

Her mother immediately sounded worried. "Is everything all right, dear?"

"Yes, Mom. Please just get Daddy on the phone."

After a minute her father picked up the phone and greeted her. "What's up?"

"Are both of you there?" They answered together, one on each phone. She could picture them: her mother sitting at the kitchen table, her father in his armchair in the living room.

"All right. First things first: Leonard and I are all right. But something very scary happened to us this past weekend." And she proceeded to tell them about the events, leaving out the fact that they were on their way to get married, also leaving out the detail about Leonard kissing that girl on a boat (a detail she had nearly forgotten herself), and leaving out any mention of the sexual assault. In her telling, the manager was simply trying to rob her. These were her parents, after all.

Neither parent said a thing as Penny spoke, And there was complete silence when she finished the story. After a few moments she could hear her mother sobbing quietly. Her father spoke up first. "Is Leonard all right now?" His voice was shaky and Penny realized that he, too, was crying. She had never heard her father cry, and it scared her a little.

"He's fine, Daddy. We came home from the hospital last night and he's resting well. The doctors say he will make a full recovery, and should be good as new in a few weeks. But it was frightening."

"Honey," her mother asked, "are _you_ all right? Did that man hurt you?"

"Oh, no. But to be honest, he came within a couple of minutes of killing Leonard. It was awful. But Daddy, do you know that I was able to get him off of Leonard by hitting him with a baseball bat? So all that baseball came in handy after all!" she said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Way to go, Slugger," her father said, obviously choking back tears.

Now it was Penny's turn to cry. "Oh, Daddy. Do you know that Leonard said exactly the same thing?" And silence ensued, as all three of them sobbed quietly on their separate phones.

Penny felt she had to continue, to share her feelings. "Mom, Dad, I want to tell you. This was a terrible thing. But Leonard and I came through it. And we are so, so much in love. I can't even explain how my heart feels now, it feels so full and I…" but she could not continue.

"I understand, honey," her father said. "We both understand." Penny could hear that her mother had left the kitchen and was sitting by her father, still sniffling. "Thank you so much for telling us. And please take extra special care of Leonard. Anyone that my daughter loves that much deserves extra special care."

"OK, Daddy," Penny said.

"Um, Penny?" her father continued.

"Yes?"

"When can we come out to see you both? We don't want to be in the way but we really want to see you. And maybe we can even help a little."

"Sure! That would be great! I think it would be good to give Leonard a week to get back his strength a little more. Why don't you see what works for you and let me know. That will be wonderful!"

"OK, darling. You take care of yourself, and take care of your man. And we want you to know how much both of us love you. How much both of us love you both."

"I love you both, too. Come out soon."

Whew, that was extreme, Penny thought to herself. But she knew she had things to do. She pulled out the medical records she had from Barstow, and called Leonard's doctor to arrange an appointment. The receptionist recognized the name immediately and, somewhat to Penny's surprise, told her that they had been waiting to hear from them.

"Doctor Sussman would like me to schedule a bronchoscopy for Leonard as soon as possible. The physicians in Barstow said that was a priority," the receptionist told Penny.

Penny thought a bit, decided that it shouldn't be postponed, and arranged for the procedure to be performed the next day, Thursday, in the afternoon, and for Leonard to see Dr. Sussman right afterwards. Apparently the results were immediate.

After confirming the arrangements, the receptionist paused and said, "Umm, you're Penny, right?"

"Yes."

"We're making a little bit of an exception here because of the circumstances – we have all the information from Barstow – but you need to make sure that you're on Leonard's health care proxy so that you can make these kinds of arrangements when he can't. You might also like to call the Institute and make sure they have you on all the appropriate forms."

"Oh. Thanks, I hadn't thought of that," Penny answered. More phone calls, she sighed.

The next one was to Caltech Human Resources. Ms. Davis appeared to have been waiting for the call.

"Penny, right?"

"Right, Ms. Davis."

"Call me Janine. Anyway, we've been expecting your call. How is Dr. Hofstadter?"

"He's doing as well as can be expected, Janine. He's sleeping now – he needs a lot of rest." Wow, Penny thought, word certainly did travel fast. Howard and Raj must have done this. What troopers.

"So let me tell you what the situation is, Penny."

"Am I really authorized to be talking to you about it? Not to be naive, but his doctor was a little concerned because I wasn't on his health care proxy."

Ms. Davis sounded a little flustered. "But you are on his health care proxy. It's filed with us routinely because of the nature of his work – you know, in case of accidents. And you're his emergency contact, and his beneficiary. You had to have signed the papers – maybe you forgot?"

In reality, Penny had no recollection of signing forms like this, but then again she always let Leonard take care of paperwork. One more thing that had to change, she said to herself. And then the meaning of what Ms. Davis had said hit her: at some point, Leonard had made her not just his emergency contact, but his health-care agent and his beneficiary. Wow. That now-familiar lump began to form in her throat again.

"Oh, that's right," Penny lied. "Good. So what's the situation you were talking about?"

"The Institute has a standard policy for serious illness or injury; salary is covered for sixty days. Dr. Hofstadter also has our standard long-term disability insurance, which would cover both salary and health-care costs for a year. I assume he won't need that, but you and he should know about it. Anyway, both the President and Dr. Hofstadter's department chair want him to know that he can take as much time off as he needs to recover fully. Between the standard policy and his long-term disability coverage, he will continue to receive his salary. We all just want him back healthy."

"That's…that's amazing of you, Janine," Penny said, overcome. "I'm sure Leonard will be very grateful. Is there anything else I should know?"

"Not really. Just that we all wish him the speediest of possible recoveries, and we're all very proud of him. Oh, and when he feels up to it, we'd love to see him here on campus, just for a social visit."

"I'm sure he'd like that. Thanks again, Janine."

Boy, Penny said to herself, that man was a lot more popular than she'd thought. Not that he didn't deserve it, of course. But "take as much time off as he needs" and "we're all very proud of him." Wow.

Penny busied herself around the apartment, preparing some cream of wheat for Leonard – practically the only breakfast food he could eat – and checking her phone for messages. She had a ton, but she ignored all but several from their closest friends, from the previous night and this morning. Bernadette wanted to know what they might need in the way of groceries, and asked when she and Amy could stop by. Howard told her that he and Raj would be taking Sheldon out to dinner and to the comic book store that evening, so that she and Leonard could have some time alone. But, he wrote, he hoped that they could at least stop in to say hello.

She thought a bit, then texted Howard that he and Raj could stop in briefly at around 6 PM to pick up Sheldon and drop in on Leonard, but only for a few minutes. Then Penny texted Bernadette about a few things they could use. She said that this evening was not good, but that they could come by the next day, Thursday, at around 8 PM. However, she asked them to come to her apartment, across the hall. She wanted to avoid anything uncomfortable between Amy and Sheldon.

By now it was nearly 11 AM, and she thought Leonard might be awake. Before she could walk back to the bedroom, though, her cellphone rang.

"I'm trying to reach Leonard Hofstadter," came an official-sounding voice.

"This is Dr. Hofstadter's fiancée," Penny answered. "Who's speaking?"

"This is Sergeant Wells of the Pasadena Police Department. I need to confirm some information. Can I speak to Dr. Hofstadter?"

"I'm sorry, but he's sleeping now and can't be disturbed. Is there anything I can do for you? I'm currently taking care of most arrangements for him," Penny said, trying to match the sergeant's level of formality.

"All right. This is about police protection for Dr. Hofstadter and you. As I think you know, the Barstow police have been in touch with us. I wanted to let you know that we've stationed a patrol car outside your building. I did however want to confirm that Dr. Hofstadter and you are both going to be at the address we have for him: 2311 North Los Robles Avenue. Is that correct?"

Penny was shocked. "Um, yes, correct. But do we really need a patrol car?"

"Ma'am, that's what the Chief has ordered us to provide. Is there a problem?"

"No, no, it just seems excessive. But sure, that's fine."

"All right. Somebody will be calling you every day to check in, just to maintain voice contact as well. But if you should ever need immediate assistance, the patrol car will be right outside."

"OK, thanks for letting me know," Penny said as she hung up. Yikes.

She looked up from the phone to see Leonard standing sleepily in the hallway.

"Hey, you," she said softly, walking quickly to Leonard and taking his arm. He was still very unsteady on his feet. "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same question," Leonard said. He was still only able to speak in a whisper. "You were supposed to be there forever, but I guess it _was_ only figuratively."

Penny smiled. "I'm here now. Let's go back to bed and I'll bring you some cream of wheat." They walked slowly back to the bedroom. "I spoke to my parents. They want to come out next week. Is that all right?"

"Of course," Leonard whispered brightly. He was very fond of Penny's father and really wanted to meet her mother.

"Howard and Raj are going to stop by this evening. Briefly," she said firmly. "Maybe tomorrow we can see Amy and Bernadette, too, if you're up to it."

"Great!" Leonard rasped, enthusiastically.

"And I spoke to Ms. Davis in HR at the Institute. She told me that the President and your department chair said you should take as much time off as you need. Your salary is covered. And she said they're all proud of you, and they hope you'll stop in for a social call soon."

"That's amazing."

"I know." She left out mention of the beneficiary, or health care proxy. She had some paperwork of her own to take care of before they had that conversation. "Oh, and the police department is stationing a patrol car outside the building. In Barstow they told me we'd be contacted by them but I never expected a patrol car. Sorta weird."

"Really." And then, "You've been busy! I'm not used to you being up much before 11, let along having done a full day's worth of organizing things by then," Leonard said

"Pfft," Penny scoffed. "A girl does what a girl needs to do. Oh, and I scheduled a bronchoscopy for you tomorrow at 1 PM. That's something the doctor in Barstow thought was a priority. And Dr. Sussman agreed. He'll be there after to give us the results. And you can't have anything to eat before the procedure."

"I don't think that will be a problem. I feel like I haven't had anything real to eat in a week."

"Are you hungry? We can try some other foods that you might be able to swallow."

"Actually, I'm not really hungry. Mostly tired."

Penny settled Leonard in bed, and brought him the hot cereal and some orange juice. Leonard had tried coffee in the hospital, but it was too hot for his throat.

"I do miss coffee, though, especially with the smell all over the apartment," he said wistfully as he ate.

"Oh," Penny cried, "I'm so terrible! I'll make it in my apartment from now on."

Leonard laughed. "Don't be silly, I was kidding. Actually, why don't you bring me some coffee with a lot of milk. Maybe it will be cool enough."

As Penny carried the coffee down to Leonard, she considered whether she wanted to have the conversation she'd been pondering for days with him now.

A few minutes later, Penny cleared away the breakfast. Then she sat on the bed next to Leonard. "Honey, I want to talk to you."

"OK," he said, a little puzzled. Usually those were the words that preceded some form of breakup, but he knew that wasn't in the cards.

"Let's lie down so we can talk comfortably." And Penny arranged Leonard in their conversational position so they could speak easily.

Leonard looked at Penny curiously. She seemed very serious.

"Honey, what's happened to us?"

"What do you mean?" Leonard asked, although he thought he did know what she meant.

"I feel like things have changed between us. Not in a bad way," she hastened to add, "actually in a really good way. But it's confusing."

"I know what you mean, I think." Leonard paused, not sure if he dared go forward. "I think we're getting even."

"Meaning?"

"Please don't take this the wrong way, and don't get angry. Promise?"

"Promise."

"For the longest time, I worried about us. Maybe that you really didn't love me enough to stay with me, or that you would get tired of me, or that one of my stupid mistakes would drive you away. And I think," he said a little more hesitantly, "that in your heart of hearts you may have had some doubts about us, about whether our differences were so great that we would not be able to get past them."

Penny nodded. "I know the first thing is true. All your insecurities. And I understand them, I really do. And," she sighed, a little sadly, "I have to admit that the second is also true. I worried that a brilliant and successful scientist would get bored with a failed actress."

"I don't know any failed actresses," Leonard said. "Anyway, somehow I feel that these past few days have just swept all that away. I've never felt you so close to me. I've never felt you so in touch with my feelings. I think about my insecurities and they're just sort of a memory. I don't believe you will ever leave me. Maybe I'm wrong, but that is how I feel. So that's what I mean about getting even. Perhaps I was a little ahead of you in some parts of our relationship, and you were a little ahead of me in others. And now we're even."

Penny could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "Leonard, that's beautiful. And it's so true. I've never felt closer to you. I've never felt closer to _anyone_. And I want to stay here talking to you just, just all day long. Can we do that?"

"No," Leonard said, to Penny's shock. "Sorry. But a wise woman told me not to overdo things, and I can already feel that my throat is getting sore. Let's just lie here and we can talk more later on."

"Oh, my," Penny said hurriedly, "of course. Somehow when we're talking like this I forget how hard it is for you. Sorry, sorry."

Leonard lay his head down, obviously tired. Penny suddenly felt guilty.

"I'm so sorry, Leonard, I didn't mean to tire you out."

Leonard looked at her. "Don't be sorry. I'm really glad we talked. And we'll talk more. But I think I need to sleep now."

"Of course, of course. I should warn you that I have to change your bandages sometime today." He hated that; it was quite painful. "But for now, you just rest." And she settled him into bed, lying beside him while he fell asleep in a ritual they had established in Barstow. Once he was fast asleep, Penny turned out the light and left the room, closing the door behind her.

* * *

At 6 PM on the dot Howard and Raj knocked softly on the door. Leonard had been awake for about an hour, waiting excitedly for them. Penny let them in. "Sheldon's not here, though. I don't really know where he is."

Howard explained, "Raj brought him into work this morning, and he's out in the car now. He didn't want to disturb you."

"That really wasn't necessary. He's been very considerate, amazingly so. Listen, before you go in to see Leonard, something about Sheldon," Penny said, seriously.

"Last weekend, Amy told Sheldon that she wanted a break from their relationship," she began.

Howard and Raj looked at each other. Howard said to Raj, "I told you she'd find out." Then to Penny, "Yes, we know about it. In fact, Amy asked us to talk to Sheldon in part because now, with the situation with Leonard, it might get a little awkward. You know, if Amy comes to visit and Sheldon's here."

"Oh," Penny said. "That's good. But could you also talk to him more generally, you know, man to man?" She smiled to herself when she said this. A while ago she would have made a joke about being three men short. But matters had gotten a little more serious, as had Sheldon. Penny continued, "His relationship with Amy is very important to Sheldon, but he's not so good at figuring out how to handle it. I think he needs our support. So does Amy, of course, but you can leave that to Bernadette and me."

"Absolutely," Howard said. "You can count on us."

"All right, let's take you in to see my little hero."

Leonard's eyes lit up at the sight of his two friends. "Hey!" he whispered.

Howard and Raj were a little taken aback. Penny realized that she hadn't really prepared them for Leonard's voice, and for the severe bruising that was still evident around his throat and the parts of his shoulders that were visible. But the two friends recovered quickly. Penny brought them to the bed, and had them sit one on either side of Leonard.

"Now, he can't speak above a whisper, and don't make him talk too much. But I know he's been looking forward to this all day. Twenty minutes, boys, that's all." And she left the three scientists alone.

Twenty minutes later her phone alarm went off, and she went back to Leonard's room. Howard and Raj were energetically explaining something – it seemed to be a lecture they had attended that day – and Leonard looked enthralled. But Penny could also tell from the way his shoulders were sagging that he was tired.

"Time's up!" she reminded them. All three said "Awww" simultaneously, but she insisted. After effusive good-byes, the two left Leonard's room. Penny walked them out. "I know that meant a lot to him. I hope you'll keep coming by, even if I'm a pretty strict nurse."

Raj looked at her, admiringly, "I can't imagine a better nurse, Penny. You're so wonderful with him. Leonard has to be the luckiest man alive."

Penny blushed. "Well, then I'm the luckiest woman."

Howard rolled his eyes. "OK, enough of this love-fest." They both stared at him, annoyed.

"Kidding, kidding. Seriously, Penny, how's he doing? He seems so weak. Although he got very animated as we talked to him."

"Honestly, he really doesn't have much stamina. Half an hour of conversation knocks him out for half the day. But he's getting better. And tomorrow we're having a big procedure just to make sure there's no damage to his trachea."

"Do you need a ride?" Howard said quickly. "We've got cars just waiting to go for you."

"Thanks, but it's nearby and I can drive him. If I need something, have no fear, I'll give you guys a call. Thanks so much for coming by. Maybe we can see you again sometime this weekend?"

"Absolutely," Howard said again, as Raj nodded, and they left.

Walking down the stairs, Howard said to Raj, "Not a word about that patrol car. I imagine she'll notice it tomorrow with the test, but maybe she won't make the connection."

"Right," Raj said. "Mum's the word."

* * *

Thursday morning went by quickly. Leonard was actually hungry by the time they got to the clinic, but the exam required an empty stomach. Penny watched over him carefully as the pulmonologist and her assistant gave Leonard a light sedative, then threaded a thin flexible tube down his throat. They watched carefully on a monitor as they manipulated the tube up and down and back and forth for about 20 minutes.

Dr. Sussman met Leonard and Penny afterwards in his office. "As expected, Leonard's trachea has sustained a lot of damage. Sometimes the type of damage involved can require surgery, which is what the pulmonologist was looking for. Fortunately, none of the damage is of that type. It will take quite a while to heal fully, I think. It could really be a couple of months before you will feel that you are back to baseline, Leonard. I know that will be frustrating, but believe me, you are actually pretty lucky. Some people who've gone through what you have sustain permanent damage to their vocal cords, or to their trachea. You didn't, and you should make a full recovery. But I want to see you in here every week for the next month or so. OK?"

They left the clinic and drove home. After parking and walking around the block, they headed toward the building. First, though, they walked up to the patrol car. The police officer put down his window. "Yes?"

"We just wanted to say hello," Penny told him. "I'm Penny and this is Leonard."

The police officer looked at them a little curiously. "I know. I'm here to protect you, after all – that wouldn't be too easy if I didn't know what you looked like. How did the clinic visit go?" he said, conversationally.

"How did you know about that?" Penny asked, surprised.

"What do you mean?" the officer said, equally surprised. "I followed you there, of course. Police protection is police protection. I didn't think there was any need for me to go in with you, but I did check in with security just in case. By the way, it's not necessary, but in future if you tell us where you're going in advance it would make it a little easier on us. I almost lost you once. And I might point out that the speed limit on Colorado Boulevard is 40," he added, a little mischievously.

"Oh, OK," Penny said, guiltily. She and Leonard walked back into the building and prepared for the long, difficult climb back up the stairs. If only the elevator were working! As they wended their way up slowly, Leonard said, "That was weird. What are we, some sort of flight risk?"

"I know, right? I mean, I think they're taking this a little too far. But I suppose the Pasadena police may not have anything better to do."

Leonard was exhausted by the time they got back to the apartment around 5 PM. He ate a quick dinner and collapsed into bed. Sheldon arrived shortly thereafter, disappointed to have missed Leonard yet again. He announced that Raj and Emily had invited him over for dinner, and Raj picked him up soon after. Penny was resting in the living room when she realized it was almost 8 PM and that Bernadette and Amy would be showing up at apartment 4B soon. She looked in on Leonard quickly, then ran across the hall.

A few minutes later came a knock on the door. Penny answered it, and said, "Let's go across the hall. Sheldon's out – dinner with Raj and Emily – so we can speak freely. And maybe if Leonard wakes up you can see him for a few minutes."

The two woman sat on the living room couch as Penny unpacked the produce and dry goods they had brought over. "This was really nice of you. Thanks so much, girls," she said.

"Anything you need, just give us a call," said Bernadette.

Penny finished and sat down in the armchair. "OK, Amy, let's hear it."

Amy filled Penny in on her thinking. None of it was particularly surprising to Penny, and Amy had been talking about it enough with Bernadette that her thoughts were quite clear. She was pretty sure she didn't want to end it with Sheldon, but she needed some real indication that he was serious about her. And she also needed, really needed, some forward motion on the physical intimacy front.

Penny sympathized completely. However, she felt compelled to mention to Amy that Sheldon seemed to have taken both the hiatus and Leonard's accident quite hard.

"He's in a pretty fragile state, I think. So be gentle with him, whatever you decide. At the same time, I do think he seems to be thinking about his life, and his life choices, more seriously. So maybe he will be able to be the boyfriend you want. Only you and he can decide that, Amy."

"I know," Amy sighed. "But it's hard. I miss him, but I really need things to change."

Bernadette decided that this was enough about Amy and Sheldon, given other priorities. "Is Leonard awake? Do you think we could just pop in and say hello for a minute?"

Penny looked doubtful. "I'll check. He was sleeping just a while ago." She returned after a couple of minutes. "Well, he's up and he would love to see you. I should warn you that he can barely whisper, and there's still a lot of bruising. So prepare yourselves."

Amy and Bernadette walked behind Penny down the hallway and cautiously into the bedroom. Leonard was sitting up in bed and smiled broadly when they entered. But the two woman were still quite shocked. He had never been big, but now Leonard seemed downright tiny. He had clearly lost weight, and the bruising around his neck was pronounced. However, they had the presence of mind to brush past and greet Leonard warmly.

"Leonard," Amy said, "it's so wonderful to see you." Bernadette nodded. "You know the group isn't the same without you. We need you back!"

Leonard whispered, "I have missed you guys a lot! I can only take so much talk about shoes," he said, looking at Penny.

Penny playfully socked him on the arm. "You liar. I haven't mentioned shoes once. Dresses, yes, but never shoes."

They all laughed. Leonard looked at Penny. "Honey, could you get me some orange juice? I'm really thirsty."

As soon as Penny left the room, Leonard turned to Amy and Bernadette in a much more serious mode, speaking very quickly. "Can you two please watch out for Penny? Take her out for dinner or a movie, or to go shopping. This is really no fun for her, and it's not fair for her to have to be stuck inside with me. Plus Bernadette, what's the story with work? She can't afford to lose her job."

Bernadette looked around to make sure Penny wasn't there. "I've worked it all out. Dan would do anything to keep Penny, she's his top earner. She can have as much time as she needs. I told Penny that – didn't she mention it?"

"No, I think she's keeping lots of news from me. I worry that she's taking on too much. Please take care of her for me. I'm concerned," Leonard said quickly as they heard Penny walking back down the hall.

The two women nodded quickly as Penny entered.

"All right, ladies," Penny said. "This patient has had enough for one day. Say your good-byes or I'll have to call security."

Amy and Bernadette each gave Leonard a gentle kiss on the forehead. Bernadette squeezed his hand gently as she looked into his eyes, signaling that she would do as he had asked. Leonard smiled and waved good-bye to them.

As the two women left the apartment, Bernadette turned to Penny. "Whatever you need, we're here for. If you'd like to go out for dinner, or a movie, or to shop sometime, one of us would be happy to stay with him while you do – and the other could come with you. Or I could get Howard to stay with Leonard while all three of us go out."

"No," Penny said firmly. "My place is here."

Bernadette smiled. "Hmm. OK, time for me to play dirty. I know you want to be here with Leonard, but he just told us that he worries about you being cooped up. I think you'd be doing him a favor if you got out a bit. Think about it."

Penny nodded, "Oh, all right. But for now I want to spend as much time as I can with him. Thanks anyway."

Penny returned to the bedroom. "Big day for a little man," she said smiling. "Are you tired?"

"A little. But I'd rather talk to you."

"OK," Penny said, "let's talk." She settled Leonard into their comfortable conversational position and lay down facing him.

"Leonard Hofstadter," she began, thinking of a topic to discuss, "what makes you happy?"

"That's easy. You."

"Oh, yuck. What are you, a Hallmark card?"

"But it's true!" Leonard protested. "Talking with you, doing things with you, just being with you."

"Oh, all right. Besides me."

Leonard thought. "My friends. My work. Anything that I can get excited or enthusiastic about." He looked a little embarrassed. "That includes Star Trek, I guess. Sorry."

"That's all right. So things that you can be enthusiastic about."

"Yeah." He thought some more. "When I'm doing something exciting with my friends, or making progress at work, everything feels more interesting to me. It sounds like a cliché, but I feel more alive."

Penny nodded. "OK. I think I get that. But you look so tired now. Ready to go to sleep?"

Leonard agreed, as Penny rearranged the pillows and covers and settled down beside him. Within a few minutes he was asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

All morning Friday Leonard was both excited and extremely nervous. Penny didn't need to ask: his brother Michael was arriving that afternoon. But by noon, Leonard had worked himself into such a state that Penny had to insist that he lie down and rest. She gave him another painkiller to help him sleep and put him to bed.

At 3.30 Penny got a text from Michael. He had checked into the Pasadena Marriott and wanted to know if he could come over. Penny looked in on Leonard, who was still asleep. If experience was any guide, she figured he'd be up and about by 4 or 4.30 PM, so she told Michael to come on over but that Leonard might still be sleeping.

At a little past 4 PM there was a quiet knock on the door. Penny opened it to see a handsome young man. Michael was at least six inches taller than Leonard, but he had the same wavy brown hair and the same deep brown eyes. He transmitted a quiet gentleness, as well a sort of visceral melancholy. Penny immediately felt sorry for him, and took a liking to him. However, she was wary of the initial feelings; after all, he had clearly done something terrible to Leonard. Perhaps it was only that his features reminded her of her fiancé. She stood at the doorway thinking about it all, until Michael quietly coughed.

"Penny?"

"Oh!" she jumped. "I'm so sorry! I was just a little surprised at how much you look like Leonard – well, like a taller version of Leonard. Please, come in. Did you have a pleasant flight? Is the hotel all right?"

"Everything went just fine. How's Leonard doing?"

"He's recovering gradually. As I mentioned, he's still sleeping, but he should be up before too long."

Michael looked around. "This is a really nice place. I remember Leonard had a roommate, another physicist. Do they still share?"

"Yes; his name is Sheldon, but he's at work. He's a very sweet man, but a little challenged socially. Even for a scientist. You'll meet him later on."

There was something of an awkward pause. Penny started again, after staring once more at Michael, who really was a (much) taller version of Leonard. "Please, have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?"

Michael sat on the couch, with Penny hovering. "I'm fine, thanks." She sat in the armchair and looked again at her fiancé's younger brother.

"You know I've heard a great deal about you," Michael said to Penny. "It's really an honor to meet you finally. I hadn't heard about the engagement. Have you set a date?"

"Not yet, really," Penny said, not wanting to go into details about the aborted trip to Las Vegas. "We'll probably work on that once Leonard is back on his feet."

Penny was trying to restrain herself from asking about his relationship with Leonard, but she figured a few more pleasantries were in order. "I'm afraid I haven't really kept up with what's been happening with you. Last I remember hearing, you were engaged to a woman in New Jersey – a judge, I think. How's that going?"

Michael looked down. He seemed even more forlorn. "Not so well, I'm afraid. We were married for just over two years. But it really didn't work out."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Penny said hurriedly. They were silent for a few beats. Penny was gathering up her courage to raise a topic that she knew would be difficult. But she really wanted to know.

"Michael, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," Michael said warily, knowing full well what was coming.

Penny continued: "I know it's really not my business, but after all, we're going to be family. What happened between you and Leonard? When we first met, he used to talk about you all the time. Michael graduated at 19, Michael finished law school at 21, Michael is clerking for Justice Breyer, Michael got a job at Harvard, Michael got tenure. And I think you two talked by phone or email pretty often. But then, all of a sudden, it stopped. Why?"

Michael sighed deeply. "Penny, this was a very painful episode. I've only spoken about it to a few people. And this may not be the right time. But I'll tell you anyway. One of my purposes in coming out here, after all, was to attempt a reconciliation."

"Actually, it goes back to my engagement to Julia, the judge in New Jersey. We had a small wedding at her parents' house, and I really wanted Leonard and you to come."

"Thank you," Penny smiled.

Michael looked ever more dejected. "But then my mother called me to say that Leonard refused to come to the wedding. I asked her why, and she just told me that it would be better if I didn't know what Leonard had said. I was terribly hurt."

"That really doesn't sound like Leonard. I wonder what was going on? Did you ever ask him?"

"No," Michael shook his head. "I really stopped talking to him then. I figured that if he couldn't be bothered to participate in something so important to me, then our relationship couldn't have meant much to him."

Penny looked down sadly. But immediately she heard an explosion from the hallway. She and Michael looked up to see Leonard standing in the hall stamping his foot furiously.

Leonard raised his voice as loud as he could in his reduced state and stamped his foot again. As it was, it sounded like a stage whisper, but it was all Leonard could do as he tried to shout: "Michael! How could you? You know why I refused to go!"

Michael leapt to his feet, looking confused. "What do you mean?"

Leonard stepped toward the living room, his face white. His voice was tight and despite the raspy whisper they could hear the pain. "Penny, I am sorry you have to hear this. But the reason I refused to go to Michael's wedding was because he told me that you were not welcome."

"What?!" Michael fairly shouted. "I never told you anything of the sort!"

"Of course not, you coward," Leonard whispered, "you had Mother do your dirty work for you."

Michael stood there stunned, as Leonard stared at him with eyes full of pain and anger.

Penny glanced back and forth at the two brothers. Slowly, she said, "Let me get this straight. Your mother told Leonard that Michael didn't want me at the wedding, and then she told Michael that Leonard refused to go to the wedding."

Michael and Leonard looked at each other. Simultaneously, they said "Oh…my…God!" But before they continued they heard an anguished gasp from Penny.

The young woman was completely white. Her neck was taut, the veins distended. She was so angry she could only sputter for a moment. Then, "That…that bitch! I will kill her! How could she?" And Penny collapsed sobbing on the armchair.

Leonard and Michael were alarmed. Leonard quickly walked toward Penny, but Michael could see that the effort – and maybe the emotion – was too much and that Leonard was shaky on his feet. Quickly Michael grabbed Leonard just as he began to slip to his knees. The tall brother lifted his smaller sibling up and carried him to the couch. When Penny looked up and saw what was happening, she too jumped up and ran to Leonard.

"This is much too much excitement for Leonard," she said to Michael. "We have to get him back to bed. Help me."

But Michael needed no help as he gently carried Leonard back to the bedroom and lay him on the bed. Penny quickly rearranged the covers for Leonard. Leonard was calmer now, looking first at Michael, then at Penny. The two sat on either side of him, on the bed. Nobody said a word. Penny tried not to sob, but without much success.

After at least five minutes were up, Leonard reached for Michael's hand. Michael took it gently and looked at his older brother. Leonard whispered in his soft rasp, "Michael, I am so sorry we never talked about this. I was just so hurt that you thought so little of me and my life that you would exclude Penny."

"But I didn't, Leonard. I would never do that, especially after," he looked cautiously at Penny, "well, you know." Leonard nodded, and sighed.

Penny was a bit puzzled by this last, but she had to know more. She was reluctant to get between the two brothers, but she felt she had to ask. "Why would your mother do such a thing? I mean, I know Beverly's a piece of work, but this just seems so…so evil!"

Michael looked at Leonard, then at Penny. "Well, if we were to psychoanalyze her, I think we'd say that this was another attempt on her part to make sure that she would be the center of attention, even if it meant coming between her own sons. Do you know that Leonard and I long ago established that when I visited the house she would remove all the pictures of me so that only pictures of Leonard and our sister were up, and when Leonard visited the house she would remove all the pictures of him? That's the kind of vindictive person she has become. Maybe that she always was." Leonard nodded knowingly.

Penny was still stunned. "But…I mean, I know she belittled Leonard all his life. But I didn't know that she tried to set you two against each other. Did she?"

Michael nodded. "Oh, yes. I think she always saw Leonard as a threat, because he and I were close. So she was always trying to separate us, all through our childhood." Leonard nodded. "But she was never successful. Leonard was always too good to me, and I could never think ill of him." He smiled at his brother, then frowned. "I guess it had to wait until we weren't really spending time together, until our memories faded, for her to convince us that we could have turned against one another. I blame myself. I should have known that Leonard could not have changed so much."

Leonard raised his hand vigorously. He was having more trouble than usual speaking, perhaps due to the attempt to shout before. "My fault too. I should have known."

Michael continued, looking now at Leonard. "What a waste of five years. Leonard, I certainly have missed you. I have been following your career, though; you've been doing wonderful things. Congratulations on your Newcomb Prize!" He stopped and shook his head. "I'm so sorry we let Mother come between us. For two smart guys, we're pretty stupid."

Leonard agreed. "Well, she has a lot of practice trying to keep the two of us apart. At least we'll never let something like this happen again. We have a lot to catch up on."

Michael nodded again.

Penny shook herself from her daze. "Boys, I know this is important and we can continue it later. But I'm responsible for Leonard's health, and he now definitely needs to rest. Michael, let's you and I leave him alone to sleep. We can talk more later on."

Leonard had to agree with Penny, reluctantly. He was exhausted. He waved weakly at the two as his eyes closed and they walked out to the living room.

Penny and Michael sat on the couch and looked at each other. The pain in Michael's eyes was hard to bear, Penny thought. Clearly he was as emotional as Leonard. Penny put her hand on Michael's. "This is all pretty intense, I know. But you're with family here."

Michael nodded. "Do you think I could get some water now?"

"Of course!" Penny jumped up. "We have juice, too, if you want it."

"Water is fine."

Penny walked back to the couch with two bottles of water. "So," she said brightly, "you're a law professor! That's amazing. I think my brother could probably use you; he's been in trouble with the law since he was 14," she joked.

"Well," Michael smiled, "if he ever gets accused of violating precepts of constitutional law, I'd be happy to help out. I'm just an academic; I've actually never served as a lawyer in a courtroom."

"I do know that, actually" Penny said. "I've learned a lot about academics from being with Leonard. Plus he used to tell me all about what you were doing; I mean, before, you know…." Another awkward pause.

Michael broke the silence: "And what about you? What are you up to?"

Penny relaxed a little and told Michael about her acting interests, which – she was quick to insist – were not dead, and about her new job. But as the conversation lulled, she turned to him a little more seriously.

"Can you tell me about Leonard as a child? I've never wanted to ask Leonard because it all seems so difficult for him. But maybe it's something _you_ would be comfortable talking about?"

"Sure," Michael said. "Leonard was my idol. No matter what happened, no matter how nasty people were to him, or to me, he always took care of me. If things at school or at home had been particularly difficult, we would sit on one of the beds in our room and he would tell me that it would be all right, and then he would tell me a story or read me a book or play a game with me. When I was getting bullied in school, he would protect me – he's two years older so even though he wasn't exactly a jock, the kids my age wouldn't mess with him."

Michael paused. "But the main thing was that he protected me from Mother. You can't imagine how that woman tortured him. I think she really took pleasure in making fun of him. Everything, from his height, to his hair, to his…you know…bed-wetting. I wasn't fully conscious of it at the time, but when I look back I really think her abuse was pathological. And he would just sit there and take it. I could see his hands shake sometimes as she spoke to him, but he never answered her. And sometimes when she saw that she wasn't going to get a rise out of him, she would turn to me and start in. Whenever she did that, Leonard would grab me by the hand and pull me outside, or to our room, to play. I didn't realize it then; only years later it dawned on me that he was absorbing all of her abuse in part to keep her away from me. It's one of the main reasons I really don't speak to Mother much anymore."

Michael paused. His eyes were moist. "That man saved me. And now I feel like such an idiot for actually believing Mother."

Penny took Michael's hand in hers. "It was not your fault. Beverly is one world-class manipulator. Do you know that the first time we met, she had me in tears within ten minutes?"

Michael smiled, "Well, that does sound like her." He was quiet. Penny decided to change the subject.

"So, is there anyone special in your life these days?"

"No," Michael said, a little shyly. "Since the divorce I've dated a few woman. But I think I'm damaged. I just don't seem to be able to trust anyone, at least not on an intimate level. I think it all goes back to having such a difficult relationship with our parents. Who knows?"

Penny let him ponder, thinking to herself that these were two truly remarkable brothers. And that Michael certainly deserved someone special in his life. He clearly had a lot to give, and he just as clearly was very lonely.

Michael looked at Penny. "I always thought that Leonard had to be damaged, too. But somehow he had a strength I never did. You know, I think I first saw it clearly, as an adult, in things that had to do with you."

Penny looked at him, confused. "What do you mean? Does this have something to do with what you two were saying before, about the wedding, and me? I didn't get what that was all about, but it felt like you were talking about me."

Michael smiled, "Well, you're right. What I was saying was that I would never have dreamed of excluding you from the wedding, knowing what I knew about Leonard's feelings toward you. You may not realize this, but Leonard was completely taken with you almost as soon as he met you. I can see why now, Penny. You're just as wonderful as he said you were. In his words, not just beautiful on the outside, but beautiful on the inside, too."

Penny blushed deeply, but Michael continued.

"I know I'm embarrassing you, but you're not going to stop me from telling you this. We have a lot to catch up on, as Leonard said. Well, at one point – I think it was a few months after you moved in – I asked him if he was seeing anyone. And he said no, but that there was this girl who lived across the hall. He said that she was perfect in every way. I remember it so well, because I had never heard him talk like this. His voice was distant, and dreamy. But then he said, very sadly, that she was way, way, out of his league."

"Oh, God," Penny murmured. starting to feel the tears come up again. "That poor boy."

"Right. But I also remember what I told him. I told him that there wasn't a girl in this world who was out of his league. Because I believed that. And I told him that if this girl, or any girl, thought she was better than Leonard, then she wasn't good enough for him. And that if he really cared for this girl, all he really needed to do was to be himself and if she was as perfect as he said, she'd figure it out. And I guess he had the strength to do that."

Penny was crying softly as Michael spoke. "Oh, Michael, that is so beautiful. And so true. He was always himself, and eventually I did figure it out. I'm far from perfect, though. It took me so long to figure it out. I could kick myself. You probably don't know it, but after we dated for a year, I broke up with him. Know why?"

"No, why?"

"Because he told me he loved me. And I got so scared I just ran out on him. We were apart for two years after that. Those were two tough years for me, because I knew I had made a mistake but I didn't know how to fix it. Thank God, he eventually asked me out again."

"And the rest is history," Michael said.

"Right," Penny said. "My history. Our history." She was very quiet.

"I feel like I have a new brother now, Michael. And a very wonderful one. This past week has been very hard, but also very valuable, for me. With all that has happened, I feel somehow that I've grown up a lot. I think I feel like an adult for the first time in my life."

Michael looked fondly at Penny. "You are definitely an adult. And a very beautiful one. Outside and inside."

They sat there, both deep in contemplation, for another couple of minutes. Suddenly Penny had a thought.

"Oh! I wonder about something. I know Leonard did, too, because he mentioned it to me. How did you find out about what happened to him?"

Michael looked puzzled. "From the press reports, of course. I have Leonard's name on Google Alert, and as soon as the articles came in I knew I had to see him."

Now it was Penny's turn to look puzzled. "What articles?"

Michael peered at Penny in shock. "Are you serious? Haven't you seen all the news reports about you two?"

Penny was open-mouthed, and speechless. Michael was unsure how to react, but before he could do anything Penny jumped up, flew to Leonard's laptop, entered the password, and searched on Leonard's name. Michael walked up behind her and observed.

"You might click on the second entry first, it's the most detailed article," he said, pointing to the second search result. Penny did so, and found herself looking at a longish piece from the _Los Angeles Times_ , dated the past Tuesday. The article read;

 _High Drama in the High Desert_

 _Local Scientist Fells Felon: Police Uncover Major Stash_

 _Barstow (Special to the LA Times). Police have uncovered evidence of a substantial criminal operation based in this small town. According to sources in the law enforcement community, Barstow was being used as a trans-shipment and distribution point by one of Colombia's major drug cartels. There is also evidence that the cartel and its associates were involved in cross-border sex trafficking._

 _The discoveries came largely as the result of an extraordinary series of events this past Saturday, according to Barstow police. A Los Angeles couple staying at the Barstow Inn, a small motel in the city, found itself at the center of the drama. The motel's manager, Donald Thompson, sexually assaulted the female member of the couple. (As a matter of policy, the Times does not divulge the name of victims of sexual assault.)_

 _However, the assault was foiled when the woman's companion, Caltech physicist Leonard Hofstadter, discovered the assault in progress. Hofstadter was able to seriously wound Thompson while being grievously injured himself. Hofstadter was treated in a local hospital and, according to police, is in critical but stable condition._

 _Thompson was also taken to a local hospital in serious condition, where he remains. As police investigated the scene of the assault, they discovered approximately one hundred kilograms of cocaine, with a street value estimated at $1.6 million. They also found nearly half a million dollars in cash._

 _Barstow police spokesperson Linda Romero told reporters today that Thompson has been cooperating with police, and has admitted that the cocaine and cash belong to a Colombian cartel. Police provided no further information about the narcotics or their owners._

 _In yet another bizarre turn, the suspect is the brother of the Barstow chief of police Roland Thompson. Romero said, "There is absolutely no evidence that Chief Thompson had any knowledge of his brother's criminal connections. Nonetheless, the Chief has taken a temporary leave of absence so as to avoid even the appearance of any conflict of interest."_

 _Romero also told reporters that Federal investigators have been combing the motel since Sunday to look for more evidence, and to attempt to determine the provenance and destination of the drugs. She also noted that there is some indication that the ring may have been involved in sex trafficking across the US-Mexico border. Romero said, "We have found computer files that we believe may be associated with trafficking, but further forensics will be required before we are able to say anything with confidence."_

 _Law enforcement officials have long known that Mexican and Colombian drug cartels use remote border crossings in California and Arizona, and that trans-shipment points are typically found within 100 miles of the border, where bulk shipments are divided for further distribution. It would appear that the Barstow location was one of these trans-shipment and distribution points. Sources at the Federal Bureau of Investigation would not comment on the case, citing the sensitivity of the ongoing investigation._

 _The involvement of the Caltech scientist seems to have been purely coincidental. In response to questions, Romero indicated that police believe the couple was staying at the motel while waiting for repairs to their vehicle, which broke down on nearby Interstate 15._

 _Romero was unable to provide details on the struggle between Dr. Hofstadter and Mr. Thompson. She did, however, supply reporters with a formal statement on the confrontation that led to the discoveries. The statement reads: "The true heroes of this episode are Dr. Leonard Hofstadter and his companion. Despite his being seriously injured, Dr. Hofstadter and his companion were able to incapacitate Thompson, at enormous risk to themselves. When police arrived on the scene, Dr. Hofstadter's life was in danger. Fortunately, first responders were able to revive him and get him to a local hospital, where he is now recovering. Without Dr. Hofstadter and his companion's valiant efforts, not only might there have been even more serious injuries to themselves, but police would never have uncovered the extent of the criminal activity undertaken at the Barstow Inn. All of us here are grateful for the efforts of Dr. Hofstadter and his companion, and wish him a speedy recovery."_

 _Sources at Caltech have confirmed that Leonard Hofstadter is a post-doctoral researcher in experimental physics. Originally from New Jersey, Dr. Hofstadter is a distinguished scholar, whose accomplishments include the prestigious Newcomb Cleveland Prize, awarded by the American Association for the Advancement of Science for outstanding contributions to scientific investigation._

 _Sources at the Barstow Community Health Center, where Dr. Hofstadter was said to have been taken, would not comment on his condition, or confirm his presence in the hospital. A p_ _olice source, who did not wish to be identified because he is not authorized to speak to the press, confirmed that that the attempted sexual assault on Dr. Hofstadter's companion was thwarted, and that she sustained only minor injuries._

Penny sat at Leonard's desk, stunned.

Michael spoke up, "There are a bunch of other articles, mostly on the drugs and money. There wasn't much else about you and Leonard. That sort of surprised me. I would have thought you'd have your phone ringing off the hook from Tuesday on."

Penny looked up at him. "Well, maybe it was. I unplugged the apartment phone when we got here from the hospital. I figured our friends and family all had our cellphones, so anyone calling the apartment wasn't that important. Let me check." She walked over to the cordless phone by the couch and plugged it in. Immediately the red message light began flashing. She punched in the voicemail code and listened for a moment.

With a smile, Penny told Michael, "Fifty-six messages, and the voicemail system is full. I guess we may have missed a chance at our fifteen minutes of fame."

Michael grinned. "Who knows, maybe some of those calls are from Hollywood. From what I understand, it would make a great screenplay. And who better to play the part of Penny?"

Penny laughed. "I guess I should listen to the messages, or have Leonard listen to them if he wants. Wow, what a thing. I had no idea there was any press coverage. And I certainly didn't know anything about the drugs and money. That does explain something, though."

"What?"

"The patrol car out front, and him following us when we go out. I guess they're worried about some of those drug people looking for us. Although I can't really imagine why. If Thompson is cooperating, I would guess they have all the information they need. And, just between you and me, we didn't see anything related to drugs. We were sort of busy trying to stay alive, I guess."

Michael looked concerned. "If the police have a patrol car on duty here, there must be a reason. Please be careful, Penny."

"Don't worry, I will. They call me every day to make sure things are all right. And I have the desk number at the station just in case."

She thought some more. "It also explains why people at Caltech were all over me when I called, and why they said they were proud of Leonard. I couldn't figure out how they knew so much about what had happened."

Penny looked at the clock, and started. "Hey, what a terrible hostess. You must be hungry – it's almost 9 o'clock back in Boston now. Would you like some dinner?

Michael smiled. "No, thanks. I'm not that hungry. It's been a long day. I think I'll just head back to the hotel. Do you think I could come over tomorrow? I know Leonard's strength is limited. I won't bother him. I can just stay here reading if that's all right with you."

"Of course!" Penny said enthusiastically. "Just text me before you come over to make sure it's a good time. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. You may have to put up with a little of Sheldon, though."

"No problem. Any friend of Leonard's is somebody worth getting to know, I'll bet."

"I might take that bet," kidded Penny. "But seriously, please plan to spend as much time here as you want."

Michael left, and Penny sat on the couch, thinking again about the events of the day, and of the previous few days. It was a lot to take in.

After a while, she looked in on Leonard. She opened the door quietly, but Leonard's eyes were open.

"Not sleepy?"

"I just woke up a while ago. I guess I'm still really excited about seeing Michael. And especially now."

"Sounds like a nice time for a talk," Penny said. She wasn't going to mention the newspaper article yet; it would certainly disturb his sleep. Plus, the evening conversations were becoming a routine. She arranged the bed again so they'd be facing each other and Leonard could speak without effort. She loved the feeling of lying next to him, with his face just a few inches from hers. It was so intimate.

"All right, let's talk. Leonard Hofstadter, tell me how you feel about seeing your brother for the first time in many years."

"Oh, wow. It's really frightening."

Penny hadn't expected that. "You mean when you knew he was coming, before all that stuff happened?"

"Well, then. Of course I was scared about what would happen when we first saw each other, given all the bad blood. But it's still frightening even getting past that. I mean, it's wonderful. Now I have a brother again, but now he's somebody I almost feel I don't know very well any more. I have a lot to learn about him, about his life and work. I assume it will all be interesting, and good. But I'm a little worried about it. I was sort of disturbed by how sad he seems. He was never the happiest guy, but now it almost looks like he's depressed. So I'm worried about him, and worried about whether I can help him be a happier man."

"You worry a lot, Dr. Hofstadter."

"This is news to you?" he laughed. "Anyway, wouldn't you be worried if your brother seemed to be sad all the time?"

"Of course." Michael's sadness had impressed Penny as well. "You know, he got divorced from the woman he married way back when."

Leonard nodded, "Yes, I knew that. Our sister has been keeping me up to date, more or less. That may explain some of his state of mind."

"Probably. But maybe rebuilding his relationship with you will help. You're still his older brother, you know."

Leonard smiled. They lay there another while, then Penny rearranged the bed for Leonard to sleep, and turned the light out.

As he dozed off, Leonard reached for Penny's hand. "Maybe you can help Michael, too. Being with you always makes me happy. And we do share a lot of DNA."

"I'll try my best, baby. For him, and for you."


	21. Chapter 21

Penny woke up early, and nervous, on Saturday morning. She knew she had to tell Leonard about the news reports, but she was concerned that this would upset him. She paced in the living room for the better part of an hour. Eventually she heard Leonard ring the little bell she'd left by the bed, and she went to him. She brought him breakfast, and then figured she couldn't postpone the inevitable any longer.

"Leonard, there's something you need to know."

Leonard looked up at her curiously. "Oh?"

"Well, it turns out that there was a lot of press coverage of what happened to us. It was pretty graphic. There was even a big piece in the _LA Times_."

"Wow! We're famous!"

"Yeah, I guess, a little. But there's something else. Here, let me read you the article." And she ran out to the living room and brought in the laptop. She sat on the bed and read Leonard the article she and Michael had looked at.

Leonard listened, enthralled. He laughed at the "scientist fells felon" headline, and perked up noticeably with the description of his work. "They called me distinguished!" he said, proudly.

"Oh," Penny said, "I think they meant diminutive."

Leonard punched her on the arm lightly. "Didn't even think you knew that word."

"Hey, I'm learning all sorts of synonyms for 'little;' I figure they'll come in handy over the years. Seriously, though, this is some pretty scary stuff. It explains a few things."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that everybody at Caltech knew what had happened, and said they were proud of you. Like the patrol car out front."

"I guess you're right," Leonard said pensively. "But everything seems good, doesn't it? I think we would have heard if there were really any serious danger."

"I guess," Penny said. "Oh, by the way, I had unplugged the apartment phone and there are a ton of messages on it. They're probably from journalists, and I think that ship has sailed – it's old news by now. But we should listen to them. I didn't want to get the messages myself – it's your phone, after all – but maybe you should go through them?"

" _Mi casa es tu casa,"_ Leonard said. "I don't remember how to say phone in Spanish. Anyway, you can access the messages and let me know if there's anything important. You know the passcode."

As if on cue, a text came into Penny's cellphone. It was Michael, asking if he could come over. Penny confirmed with Leonard that it was a good time, and went out to the living room to let him in.

While waiting, she listened to the huge string of messages. Almost all were in fact from television, radio, newspapers. And they were all from Tuesday or Wednesday. She figured that by now the story was old. Plus she wasn't all that eager to talk about the incident, anyway. However, there were three interesting messages that she saved, and about which she noted down information. They were from people in the industry – a writer, a studio, and a production company – asking about the possibility of acquiring rights to the story. Michael had suggested jokingly that this might be an acting opportunity for Penny, but she wasn't sure it was a good idea. She needed to talk to Leonard about it.

When Michael arrived, she told him about these calls. He was supportive, and encouraged her to follow up. "After all," he said, "there's no harm in finding out what the possibilities might be." So Penny called her agent and left a message about the phone calls and her thinking. She made it clear that she and Leonard needed time, but that in principle she was open to the possibility. She'd discuss it with Leonard later.

The rest of the day was mostly Michael's. Leonard could not get enough of talking to him. And when Penny insisted Leonard rest, she and Michael continued to talk in the living room. Saturday went by quickly, and by 9 PM Michael was back at the hotel and Leonard was back in bed.

Penny went into the bedroom to get him ready to sleep.

"What, no talk tonight?" Leonard seemed to have gotten as attached to their little evening routine as Penny.

"You know, we don't have to do this at night, we can talk like this during the day. You're tired now."

"No, I like these little evening chats. It gives me something to think about during the day – what question you're going to ask me, for example. And afterwards it gives me something to think about as I fall asleep, like how I could have answered better."

"Really?" Penny scoffed. "Why do you need to figure out better answers? Your answers are just fine."

Leonard looked serious. "What I mean is, to try to see how I can explain my feelings better. We said we would try to do that."

Penny pursed her lips. "You're right, I'm sorry. Anyway, you got it." And she rolled the pillows around and plopped down on the bed facing Leonard.

"First I have to ask you about something." And Penny told Leonard about the calls about the rights to their story, and her idea about a part.

"That's fantastic!" Leonard said enthusiastically. "You should definitely pursue it. Any port in a storm!"

Penny sighed in relief. She had hoped Leonard would be supportive. But now it was time for the evening chat. She was really enjoying the routine. She had even come up with a name for it: the Momentum Conversations, meant to sustain the forward motion she had felt accelerating in Barstow. Again, she was quietly proud of her little scientific analogy. Someday she'd tell Leonard about it, and hope he wouldn't laugh at her. But for now, it was time for a Momentum Conversation.

"Let's talk. Leonard Hofstadter," Penny said, as always, "tell me about your friends."

"Whoa. Didn't expect that. OK." And he proceeded to go through their little circle of friends. For each one Leonard had a more neutral description – appearance, background, professional activities. But then, one by one, he went into a detailed discussion of their personality, foibles, emotional features. Penny was stunned by how insightful the little character sketches were. Leonard was truly observant, and really understood his friends. When he finished, Penny stared at him.

"Leonard, that was really amazing. You know your friends so well."

"I had a great teacher," Leonard said warmly.

"Who?"

"You, silly. You're the best judge of character I know. Everything I know about people, I learned from you."

Penny was genuinely touched. "Not likely. You were already a sensitive guy when I met you. But I'm happy to think that we helped each other out along the way."

They lay there looking at each other for a few more minutes, until Leonard's eyes began to close and Penny got them set up in bed for the night.

* * *

Sunday was more of Michael. Penny couldn't help but try to grab him for herself at every opportunity. She wanted to learn as much as she could about Leonard's life before she had met him. There was a lot to learn. She had known, at least intellectually, that he had always been smart, but Michael's stories were overpowering.

Penny could hardly imagine being as brilliant as Leonard – and as his brother. She took advantage of having Michael there to try to get some insight into the minds of the Hofstadters as academics. He gave Penny some sense of what it was like to sit around the dinner table growing up, talking about the latest ideas in evolutionary biology or anthropology. And Michael's enthusiasm for his own work helped Penny understand how important his research was to Leonard. Michael's work was about legal federalism, the relationship between state and federal law. This was easier for Penny to understand than Leonard's research, which Michael also affirmed he could not follow.

"You know," Michael mused Sunday afternoon in the living room, "he's so much a better scientist than my mother. But you'd never know that by the way she talks about him, or about herself. And, of course, she's a peerless self-promoter, so she's taken her idiotic ideas very far."

"Shh," said Penny, "You'd better not let Sheldon hear that. He thinks Beverly is a god."

"I believe it," Michael said. He had gotten to know Sheldon a bit over the weekend. Sheldon had been very discreet, leaving the house often – usually picked up by Howard or Raj – and keeping to himself. But Michael had engaged him several times, and really seemed to enjoy talking to him.

"You see, Sheldon is a little like my mother. Science as showmanship, research as a competition. They're both very good at it. I'm sure Sheldon's a much better scientist than my mother. But I'm not convinced his work is more important than Leonard's. Leonard is just a lot more 'normal-science.'"

"What does that mean?"

"It means he works with other people to develop ideas that the whole field is trying to grapple with. Sheldon is sort of a loner, trying to remake or replace the reigning paradigm. Leonard works within the paradigm, trying to improve or perfect it. I don't think I could explain more – I don't really know that much about science, but this kind of distinction I sort of understand, from having talked with Leonard."

Penny wasn't sure she understood, but she knew she wanted to. And now she wanted to ask Michael a question she had been aching to ask Leonard for ages. She had always been afraid to hear the answer, but now she felt she needed to know.

"Michael, I want to ask you something and I want you to give me an honest answer, no matter what."

"Of course. What is it?"

Penny swallowed hard. "Do you think someone as stupid as me will be able to keep Leonard's interest – intellectually, I mean. I don't want to be crude, but we have a very strong physical relationship, which is great. But I really worry that he's so much smarter than I am that eventually he will get bored."

Michael looked hard at Penny. "OK. Let me tell you what I think. First of all, you are _not_ stupid. You may not be _knowledgeable_ about science, or other academic subjects, but you are super smart. Trust me, I know; I deal with smart students all the time. You could hold your own with any of them in terms of raw intelligence. Second, from what I hear, and I believe it, you're an excellent actress, and that takes a tremendous amount of intelligence. Third, and let me make sure I say this right. Leonard doesn't need to look to you to talk about physics. That's what he talks about with his colleagues. What he gets from you is a broader vision of the world – about other people, about social interactions, about life in general. Leonard is completely swept away by your command of, just, life."

Penny looked relieved. But Michael continued. "But now I am going to be brutally honest with you. I don't think Leonard could care less about your academic achievements. He told me a long time ago that you have had some fights over this. Whatever that might have involved, I'm quite sure that degrees don't matter to him. However...and here's the big bad however…I think that if you had more intellectual interests of your own, it would probably mean a lot to Leonard. For example, you were telling me yesterday how much you liked your Psychology and History courses. And I would guess from your acting that you have a strong interest in literature. Why not cultivate those? In the manner of expanding your horizons."

Michael looked at Penny apologetically. "I'm sorry. Maybe I'm just projecting from the evil Hofstadter family arrogance. But I know that Leonard values the life of the mind, and there's no reason that can't include you. You've got as good a mind as anyone."

Penny sat quietly. "I understand. Thank you, Michael. That's not necessarily the answer I wanted. But I believe it's the right answer. I have a lot of thinking to do. I want Leonard and me to grow together. Not just grow old together – I want that too – but to grow together. And that's on me." And she sighed deeply.

Later that evening, Raj and Howard took Michael out to dinner. Penny had asked them to, ostensibly to give her and Leonard some time alone. But she had two ulterior motives. The first was to allow Michael to meet some of their friends, and vice versa. The second was to give her some time to talk to Sheldon.

Michael and the guys left around 7. Leonard had a quiet dinner in his room – if a soy milk nutritional supplement counts as dinner – with Penny by his side. After that, Leonard needed a nap, and Penny went out to the living room. Sheldon was there, but got up quickly when Penny entered.

"Sheldon, stay there. Have you had dinner?"

Sheldon shook his head no. "Why don't you and I have a nice dinner? Leonard's resting."

Penny heated up one of the meals their friends had brought, and they sat at the kitchen high-top eating. As they finished, Penny looked up at Sheldon. His eyes were as sad as they had been ever since Penny and Leonard had returned home.

"Sweetie, let's talk about you and Amy. What are you thinking about that? How do you feel about it?"

"I'm confused, Penny," Sheldon admitted. "I think I understand where my efforts at being a good boyfriend have been coming up short, and I want to try to improve. But I can't do that if Amy won't talk to me."

And for the next half hour the two sat talking about what Sheldon thought he should try harder at, and how he might express this to Amy. Penny was impressed with the level of insight. Honestly, it was not much beyond that of the average 22-year-old, but that was a lot of progress for Sheldon. Maybe, she thought, there was hope for Amy and Sheldon yet.

As they cleared the plates, Sheldon touched Penny on the arm. Penny was surprised; it was a very un-Sheldon action. But Sheldon was looking at her with those sad eyes. "Penny, when Leonard is better, do you think that you could talk to Amy?"

"Of course, sweetie. Actually, there's no need for me to wait. I have time to talk to her now, and I want to. But it will need to be sometime when you're not around. Let me work it out. Why don't you tell me your schedule for the week, and one of the evenings you're not here I'll invite Amy over and try to get a feel for what she's thinking. Would that be all right?"

"More than all right. That would be wonderful. Thank you, Penny. I don't know what I would do without you and Leonard." He looked so sad, Penny just wanted to hold him. Sheldon looked at her. "You can hug me if you want. I'm OK with it." So she did, and for the second time – the first being when they arrived home from Barstow – Penny felt Sheldon soften into something resembling a normal hug. Progress, real progress, she thought.

After bidding good night to Sheldon, Penny retired to the bedroom. Leonard woke up at the sound of the door opening.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you!"

"That's OK. I have to go to the bathroom anyway. Plus we haven't had our conversation yet."

Penny walked Leonard down to the bathroom and back, and then they settled in for their evening Momentum Conversation. Penny knew exactly what she wanted to ask this time. She started as she always did.

"Let's talk. Leonard Hofstadter, what is your favorite book?"

" _A Brief History of –"_

"Fiction."

" _A Hitchhiker's Guide – "_

"Not science fiction."

Leonard thought. "OK. _Catch-22."_

"Tell me about it."

And Leonard proceeded to give Penny a précis of the great novel: about Yossarian, Doctor Daneeka, Milo Minderbinder and the others. About how it was both hilarious and terrifying at the same time. About how it made him think about war, and people, and life, differently.

Penny listened intently. "It sounds amazing." Then she paused and her eyes lit up, "Wait. Is that where that expression comes from?"

"Yep. Joseph Heller invented it. I read once that it was originally Catch-18, which had some significance in Jewish thought, which Heller liked, but somehow the number 18 was taken."

"Wow," Penny said. "I never realized it was an expression that somebody made up. That's so impressive." And suddenly she turned away and sat up on the bed, facing away from Leonard.

"What is it, honey?"

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing. And you know we promised not to keep things from each other anymore."

Penny sat for another moment, then turned to Leonard. He saw the tears in her eyes that he expected, and that always broke his heart. But now he had no idea what had caused them. "What is it, Penny?"

"I'm so ignorant. How can somebody who knows as much as you do stand to be with somebody who knows as little as I do? You're going to get bored with me so fast," she said pitifully.

Leonard sat up in the bed and looked directly into Penny's wet eyes. "You're the most interesting person I know. You have intelligence, and knowledge, that I don't. I don't have to talk to you about physics – for that I have my colleagues. With you I talk about life. That's much more important."

Penny nodded. "Yes, that's what Michael said."

"You talked to Michael about this?" Leonard said, curiously.

"I talked to Michael about a lot of things," she said defensively.

"No, no, that's fine, I'm glad you two are getting along so well. Just don't go thinking of trading me in for a taller, smarter, younger, handsomer model," he kidded, trying to lighten the mood.

Penny did laugh at that, but then got serious again. "But Michael also said that I should think of working on my own intellectual development. He was very nice about it, even though I think he knew that it would hurt me a little. And it did. But I think he's right."

Leonard looked at Penny. "That's up to you. If you are interested in reading more, or studying more, you should. But don't do it because you think I need you to. I don't. You're more than fascinating enough for me now."

"Thank you. But I do want to see about expanding my horizons," Penny concluded, remembering Michael's interesting phrase.


	22. Chapter 22

Michael left early Monday morning, stopping by the apartment on his way to the airport. Leonard was sorry to see him go, but they swore to stay in close contact from now on. They agreed not to tell their mother about the incident in Barstow. For his part, Leonard was not sure he wanted to speak to his mother ever again, but Michael tried to soften him up. After all, there was a wedding coming up, he reminded his brother.

After saying good-bye to Michael, Leonard went back to his bedroom to rest up from a taxing couple of days. Penny stayed in the living room. She couldn't get the previous evening's conversation out of her mind. A book. She wanted to read a book. She pulled out her iPad and looked online. There were a whole lot of sites with free books to read, she was surprised to see. How to choose? She scrolled through dozens and lit on a title she thought she recognized from a recent movie. An intriguing title, and it was by a woman. She started to read.

Three hours later Penny looked at the clock. It was noon. She had been reading all morning. She was so excited that she went down to Leonard's room, hoping he'd be awake. He was, barely.

"Everything all right, baby?"

"Just fine. Thinking more about Michael."

"Leonard," Penny said enthusiastically. " _Wuthering Heights._ "

"Huh?"

" _Wuthering Heights_. It's so incredible. I've been reading it all morning. Have you read it?"

"I think so, in college. I don't remember much about it. Heathcliff, right?"

"Heathcliff, Catherine, Edgar, they're so fascinating. It's amazing. And she wrote it almost 200 years ago. It seems like it could have been written yesterday, I mean, except for all the old English. And it's so sad that she died the next year."

"Who did?"

"Emily Brontë, who wrote it. Haven't you been listening? It was her only novel. She was my age when she died. Wow. I was reading about her. And her sisters. She published it under a man's name. Isn't it all just too sad and terrible? Oh, now I'm talking like one of the characters." Penny was absolutely gushing, her eyes shining. She went over to Leonard and gave him a huge hug, careful for the bandages.

Leonard stared at Penny. "I guess you didn't lose much time getting started on this campaign."

"What campaign?"

"You know, what you were saying last night, about expanding your horizons."

"Oh, that. Yes, that's how it started. But I had no idea reading an old book could be so exciting. So…so real."

"Well, they're classics for a reason, I guess."

Penny prepared their lunch and they ate together in the bedroom, as Penny continued to regale Leonard with the first half of the novel, almost none of which he had remembered. A few minutes after they finished, the apartment phone rang and Penny went to answer it. She came back to the room looking a little worried.

"That was somebody who said he was from the FBI. They want to talk to us this afternoon. I think I'll call the Pasadena police just to confirm that it's for real. Do you think you're up to talking to them if they come in a couple of hours?"

"I think so," Leonard said. "I'll take a nap now to get ready."

At 3 PM Penny answered a knock at the door to find two slightly winded middle-aged men in suits and ties. She asked for identification, and examined their credentials carefully against the information the Pasadena police had provided. Satisfied, she asked them in and had them sit on the couch. She brought Leonard out from the bedroom and seated him in the armchair, while Penny pulled up another chair.

"What can we do for you?" Penny said.

"We wanted to brief you on the status of the case in which you are involved," began one of the agents formally.

The other hastened to add, "You're only involved as victims and witnesses, of course."

The first nodded and continued, "As you undoubtedly know from the press, this case has come to include alleged instances of drug smuggling and human trafficking for sexual purposes. Federal authorities are now involved, along with the California state authorities who will be responsible primarily for investigating and prosecuting the assaults on the two of you. There are jurisdictional issues to be resolved, but we thought you should know that the man who assaulted you has agreed to cooperate with us, in return for some consideration with respect to sentencing. The terms of the consideration will be worked out by both federal and state prosecutors. But before any deal is made, the prosecutors will be in touch with you. It's the norm for any arrangement to be cleared with the victims, so you will be able to participate in the decision."

Penny seemed upset. "I don't I think he should get any consideration. He tried to kill Leonard."

Leonard glanced at Penny and whispered to the two agents, "How much time would you think he might get if he cooperates? More or less."

"Hard to tell, especially given the combination of state and federal agencies involved," said the first agent. "Taking into account the sexual assault and attempted homicide, plus his involvement in the drugs and sex trafficking, almost certainly nothing less than 25 years."

Leonard looked again at Penny, who still appeared upset. "We'll have to talk about it."

"That's fine," the second agent said. "It's a decision to be made over the next few months, not now."

The first agent continued. "Because the FBI's role in this case has to do with the drugs and sex trafficking, your testimony is not central to our purposes. The state prosecutor may be in touch with you, though, depending on how the case moves forward. For our part, we will use your statements to the Barstow police, and we may want to interview you again. But both we and the state are focusing on the drug and trafficking charges - not because they are more important than what happened to you, but because they involve far more than this one individual. And these are the principal components of our investigation. We wanted to tell you this because police in Barstow were concerned that once you saw the press reports, you might think you would be drawn into the broader case, and therefore might be in danger. We are intent on keeping them separate, in part out of deference to you, and we have no reason to believe there is any cause for concern."

Penny and Leonard nodded slowly. The agent's legalistic presentation had gone by quickly, and neither was entirely sure to have absorbed all the information. Penny was deep in thought for another reason. All the mention of sex trafficking disturbed her. When Thompson had threatened her with ending up in Medellín, she had written it off as bluster. But perhaps it wasn't all that idle a threat. It would be a long time before she mentioned this to Leonard. She was taken out of her thoughts by the second agent.

"The main thing for you two," he said, more conversationally than his colleague, "is that your involvement in this case will be separate from anything having to do with the drug smuggling, the sex trafficking, the cartel, or anything other than Donald Thompson's assault on you. We set things up like this in part to protect you two, in part to make the charges cleaner for the courts. But from your standpoint, you shouldn't worry about the high-profile aspects of the case. Thompson will be prosecuted for assaulting you two, and any deal he makes will have to be cleared by you. OK?"

Leonard and Penny exchanged looks, and Penny responded. "Thanks, I think we understand. We'll talk about it and wait to hear from you." The first agent started up again.

"There is one more thing," he said. "This case involves a substantial amount of money, and a meaningful breakthrough in our investigation into a major drug cartel. The Bureau typically makes financial compensation available to those who provide crucial information on cases as important as this one."

Leonard was wide-eyed. "You mean a bounty?"

The agent wrinkled his nose. "We prefer to think of it as an expression of our gratitude for the contribution the citizen has made."

"How much?" Penny asked, quickly.

The second agent laughed. "We don't know. Often in cases like this, if there is no pre-announced reward, it's something like ten percent of the value of the seized contraband. That would be somewhere in the vicinity of $200,000. But it's not our decision. And we can't even say whether, or how, the policy will be applied in this case. But if you want my opinion, based on my experience, I'd say you're in line for it."

Leonard and Penny looked at each other, stunned. The two agents got up. The first concluded, "That was really all we had for you. Pasadena police say they'll provide protection until Dr. Hofstadter goes back to work, just to be safe. Somebody from the Bureau will be in touch if we need to interview you. And also about the other matter."

The second agent stuck out his hand. "And for my part, I wanted to congratulate you on your courage. We've read the police reports. There aren't many people who could have reacted as quickly, and as bravely, as the two of you. Whatever you get, if you get something, you deserve double. It's an honor to know you."

Still in something of a daze, Leonard and Penny shook the agents' hands, and Penny walked them to the door. Before leaving, the second agent said to Penny, "By the way, Officer Lopez asked me to say hello to you, and to remind you of your promise." Penny nodded and smiled.

They spent much of the remainder of the afternoon talking over the remarkable conversation. And they, somewhat guiltily, tried to imagine what they might do with that amount of money. But Leonard was tired again, and needed a nap. Penny settled him into bed and went into the living room to catch up on what was happening back in Wuthering Heights.

* * *

It was very dark, and Leonard could only see hints of shapes. He was confused and scared. He knew that he had to get to Penny, but he had no idea where she was. Suddenly a hand reached out for him and grabbed him by the neck. Another hand hit him hard in the chest, and he felt like he was going to black out. He sensed that Penny was there somewhere, but his vision was too blurry and the room too dark. Leonard tried to scream, but no sound came out. He needed to get free, to get to Penny. But he couldn't move.

The hand was holding him ever more tightly around the neck. He could feel it squeezing harder and harder. He peered upwards and suddenly saw Penny frantically trying to pull his attacker away. But he was too big, and she was screaming in panic.

Penny heard an awful strangling sound coming from the bedroom and ran down the hall as fast as she could, alarmed. When she got there and turned on the light she saw Leonard, apparently asleep, but writhing in the bed and making a horrible noise as if he were trying to breathe. It was almost like the rasping, wheezing sound he had made back in the parking lot in Barstow, at a point when Penny thought he might be dying. Her heart rose into her throat and she ran to him.

"Leonard, baby, are you all right?" His eyes flew open and she saw pure terror in them. As his eyes focused more, the terror was gradually replaced with some of the confusion she had seen when he had first woken up in the hospital. "Honey, I think you were having a nightmare."

Leonard nodded shakily. He held out both hands to Penny, and she took them in hers. There was still a suggestion of fear in his eyes, and she immediately hugged him as tightly as she dared. Leonard was trembling and she could feel that his heart was beating very rapidly.

"It's all right, baby, it's all right. We're safe now." She could sense Leonard calming down slowly.

"It was terrible," he said. "I was trying to get to you but I didn't know where you were. And someone was hitting me, and strangling me. And then when I saw you, it was too late, I couldn't do anything to get to you. I felt like I was back in that motel again." He shuddered.

Penny stroked his cheeks and forehead. She imagined that these nightmares might recur. And that she might start having them, too. They had a lot of healing to do.

But for now she continued to hold Leonard, waiting for him to be calm. After ten more minutes, he seemed to have gotten back to himself. As they talked about the nightmare, and comforted each other, Penny thought to herself that it would probably be a long road back to normalcy.

* * *

That evening they had a special dinner in Leonard's room. It was the first time he was able to eat something that resembled food. In this case, it was a dish that Raj had prepared, and that he assured her contained nothing but soft foods. Leonard was able to eat it a small amount of it with little difficulty, and they both remarked on how good it was. For the first time Penny felt that they were returning toward something like their previous lives: a quiet dinner together, then a cozy conversation. Memories of the afternoon's nightmare seemed to have faded. They talked a bit more about the visit from the FBI agents and then it was time for bed.

Penny arranged the pillows, once more, so they could talk comfortably. She lay down next to her fiancé. She had a question that had been gnawing at her since listening to Michael talk excitedly about his own legal scholarship.

"Let's talk. Leonard Hofstadter, how do you feel when you're doing your research?" Penny started. Leonard was surprised. Apart from enjoying the special-effects aspects of his work, Penny didn't normally seem to pay much attention to his work. But Leonard was game.

"When you start on a project it's confusing - nothing but questions without answers. And then you figure out how to approach it, breaking it down into pieces you can manage. Then it's like a puzzle. You find one piece, then another. Sometimes it's boring. But a good kind of boring, you know, like washing dishes can be relaxing. Then sometimes it's incredibly tense, when you are waiting for a result that could mean you've wasted two months or that you've really made a breakthrough. Then you can talk with other people about it and it's exciting to know you're doing something that only a half-dozen other people in the world could do. And then as you finish the project it's nerve-wracking, because you don't really know if it's good, or correct. So you write it up and present it and see how people like it. If the reception is positive it's an incredible high. Does that make any sense?"

Penny nodded. "I think so. Acting is sort of like that. Lots of hard, hard, work, boring sometimes. But with a great payoff when you're on stage. Not to say it's the same, but I think I get it."

"Yes, I can imagine. But why did you ask? And more. Why are you so intent on asking all these questions every evening? Don't get me wrong, I love it. But I'm just curious."

Penny looked embarrassed. "I want to know more about you, honey. I want to know more about what makes you happy, and excited, and what holds your interest. I told Michael yesterday that I want us to grow together. Not just grow old together, but to grow together."

Leonard stared at her. "You're amazing, you know that. You have to be the most amazing person I know. God, I love you so much."

Penny smiled. "Me too, lover boy. But you need to rest."

Leonard said, "Are you really sure? I feel pretty wide awake." And he edged a little closer to Penny.

Penny's eyes opened wide. "Someone else is pretty wide awake, too, I see. And feel," she said, glancing down. She kissed him very softly. "Does that hurt?"

"Nuh-uh," Leonard said. Penny stroked his face gently and looked at him with some concern.

"Listen, Leonard, I talked to a nurse in Barstow and she said that sex was all right but that we have to be careful. If anything hurts you, you have to tell me right away. Oh, and she said that for a few weeks it should just be me on top. So you'll just have to let me have my way with you."

Leonard pouted. "You know how much I hate that."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure. OK, baby, here goes nothing."

It took some doing, but eventually they were both undressed. The consequences were not painful. Leonard somehow found it possible to give Penny complete control. And he was not sorry.


	23. Chapter 23

Penny awoke Tuesday morning with a smile, remembering the previous night's activities. The experience had been different, physically of course due to the medical concerns, but in other ways as well: somehow their union seemed extraordinarily gentle, and tender, and calm. She lay enjoying the memory for a while.

Eventually Penny recalled the evening's arrangements, and a sense of apprehension overtook her. Sheldon had organized himself to be out, having dinner with Howard and Bernadette. Continuing their plan, Penny had invited Amy over to the apartment at 7 PM. Penny was pretty sure Amy knew what was on the agenda. And she felt that she had an important task before her: convincing Amy that, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, Sheldon might be boyfriend material.

First, however, there were some more things to take care of. Penny had been in contact with Dan at work, and confirmed all the measures Bernadette had put in place. She could take up to six weeks off as a family caregiver, and her job would be waiting for her. Confidentially, Dan said to her, they would hold her job as long as necessary.

Penny's agent had left a message on her cellphone the day before, and now Penny called back. The news was encouraging. He felt that two of the three calls about acquiring the rights to their story were worth pursuing. And he thought that both entities – a studio and a production company – would be interested in considering Penny for the role of Penny. He would start the ball rolling, he said. Penny made sure that he knew, and would tell them, that getting Leonard back to baseline was her priority. Not a problem, according to the agent; these things could take months to get off the ground. However, he did anticipate that at some point the principals would want to talk with Leonard and Penny in some detail about their experience. Penny knew that would be painful, but Leonard had said he was willing to cooperate and if he was, so was she. Oh, and the agent had more news. Kevin Smith had called four times. He had been following the press reports, recognizing Leonard's name, and he had "a totally awesome idea" for a part in _Clerks III_ for "a kickass blonde" and was desperate to get Penny for it. Was she interested? She supposed so, but again it would have to wait until Leonard was out of the woods.

Finally, Penny called Nebraska to firm up plans for her parents' visit. They had arranged to come out over the weekend and could stay most of the next week. She was very excited, albeit a little nervous. Leonard had never met her mother. But she knew her father thought the world of Leonard, so she was pretty confident the visit would go well.

However, when her mother answered the telephone, Penny sensed that something was wrong from the tone of her voice. She asked Penny to hang on, and called Penny's father to the phone. Wyatt took up the conversation.

"Penny, your Aunt Margaret showed us some articles that she found on the Google about what happened to you and Leonard."

Uh-oh, Penny thought to herself. "The Google" had reached Nebraska.

"Honey, you didn't mention anything about the drugs and the money and the drug cartel. And you didn't say anything about the, um, way that SOB attacked you," he continued, with an oblique allusion to the matter of a sexual assault.

"Daddy, Mom, I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to be any more concerned than was necessary. The drugs and money don't really have anything to do with us – it's a separate case that the FBI is working on. And as for the assault on me, what I told you is true: nothing happened because Leonard got there in time."

"We understand," her mother said. "But you know you could have told us everything. We're adults, you don't have to protect us from the truth."

The young woman was truly sorry that her parents had had to get the whole story from the internet. "I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. I didn't want to talk about it with you over the telephone. I would have told you in person. There's more news, by the way. Somebody may want to make a movie about our experience, and maybe I could be in it. And we might get some money for our part in the drug and money discoveries," she said, trying to move the conversation along.

Wyatt was not fooled. "That's very nice, darling. But that doesn't change the fact that you kept some pretty important information from your parents. I hope we're not going to find out anything else major on the computer."

"Well," Penny said, still trying to wriggle away from the uncomfortable chastising she was getting, "you might be hearing about a wedding sometime soon. But nothing's been set and I guarantee you we'll call you as soon as there is some concrete news."

"That's wonderful, dear!" her mother exclaimed. Penny knew she could count on the wedding topic to derail her mother.

"We can't wait to hear more, Penny," her father said, and from his tone it was clear he had _not_ been fooled. "I look forward to a _full_ report next week," he continued, stressing the "full" part.

"OK, Daddy, I promise. We're really looking forward to seeing you both. Leonard is getting better every day, and he should be up and about by the time you get here." After some more pleasantries, they rang off.

Penny reported to Leonard on the uncomfortable conversation with her parents. He grimaced, but he did point out that at least she had parents who _wanted_ to know what was going on in their child's life. She couldn't disagree with that; it was a whole lot better than the Hofstadter alternative.

Over the course of the day, Penny consulted frequently with Leonard about her upcoming conversation with Amy. Leonard offered to participate, or to talk to Amy himself, but Penny thought it was better girl-to-girl. She was, however, getting increasingly nervous.

Late in the afternoon, as Leonard slept, Penny sat by the bed in the bedroom devouring the last hundred or so pages of _Wuthering Heights_. Leonard blinked awake and smiled at Penny.

"Amy has to read this!" Penny said animatedly.

"I'd guess she probably has. But why?"

"She doesn't want to be Catherine, being with the wrong man for the wrong reasons. She has to recognize true love, no matter its provenance. She needs to be the honeysuckle embracing the thorn."

"What?!"

"Sorry." Penny closed the book. "I got a little carried away. That's what she said about the Lintons and Catherine."

"Who said?"

"Emily Brontë, silly. Who else?"

"Oh. Got it. I take it that this is all about your talk with Amy tonight?"

"Yeah, really it is."

"It's pretty important to you, isn't it. Is that why you've been nervous all day?"

"Sorry, have I been taking it out on you?"

"No," Leonard hastened to reply. "I was just a little worried that maybe you were getting stir-crazy."

"Hey, we're talking about our friends' happiness here. Aren't you worried for the two of them?"

Leonard pondered. "I've learned that worrying about Sheldon is not very useful. He does what he wants, when he wants to. Which is both his greatest attraction, and his greatest flaw. Maybe he's changed – some of my conversations with him this week make it seem that way – but if he tries to act too much against his nature, he won't be happy. And neither will Amy. They have to find their own way, somehow."

"So you think I shouldn't talk to her?"

"Not at all. You should. You have to. She's refusing to talk to Sheldon, and that's not really fair to him. All I'm saying is that you can't take too much of the responsibility for their relationship upon yourself. If it works out between them, it will be in part because of your efforts. If it doesn't work out, it will be despite your efforts. Either way, they have to figure it out."

Penny sighed. "I know, I know. But they're both my friends. And they're both unhappy. I'm so nervous."

"Well, would dinner take your mind off it? Because I'm hungry. And I think I heard something about another one of Raj's soft-food casseroles."

"Coming right up!"

They ate quietly, waiting for Amy to arrive. She knocked on the door promptly at 7 PM. Penny hugged her warmly, and brought her in to see Leonard – the ostensible reason for her visit.

"Leonard, you look so much better! Do you feel better?"

"A lot. Especially now that I can eat something other than chicken soup and that awful soy-milk nutritional supplement. And, as you can hear, I can get my voice a little bit above a whisper. I still get tired a lot, and it's awfully sore just about everywhere above the waist, but I can tell that I'm getting better." As Penny left the room, he quickly signaled Amy to come closer.

"Listen, Amy. Penny is very anxious about her conversation with you. All we ask is to give her a fair hearing. We've seen a lot of change in Sheldon this past week or so. I can't tell you how to run your life, but I think you owe it to yourself to give him a chance to show you he can behave more like the boyfriend you want. And," he continued, interrupting Amy as she began to speak, "another thing. Please, please take care of Penny. She's so fragile right now and I really worry that she needs to spend more time with somebody other than me. OK? OK on both?"

Amy nodded assent as they heard Penny coming back. "I promise, Leonard. You're a good man. A good friend, and a good boyfriend. But, doctor, heal thyself."

Leonard laughed. "Got it. Go have fun, you two."

Penny's talk with Amy was intense. The neuroscientist unloaded for the first half hour, venting about all her frustrations. There were many. Penny listened carefully and sympathetically. Finally Amy had finished.

Amy looked at her friend. "I know you want to tell me, 'but' this and 'but' that. I really don't want to hear about all the things I'm ignoring. You're my best friend, but you're also a friend to Sheldon. So I'm not sure you can understand. I'm really tired of waiting, and I don't know that I can wait any longer. I'm not so undesirable, am I? I deserve a real boyfriend, a real love life, maybe a real marriage and real children. I don't know if Sheldon can _ever_ give me any of those."

Penny nodded. "I get it. And I'm not going to try to argue you out of anything. I thought of speech after speech I could give. But none of them are relevant to you right now. Only one thing is, and it's this. I think you owe it to yourself to let _Sheldon_ try to argue you out of giving up on him. Everything you say is sensible, and reasonable. The only thing that I think is not sensible, or reasonable, is refusing to talk to Sheldon. And that's all I really have to say."

Amy sighed. "I know, I know. I've been trying to talk myself out of giving him that chance all week, and succeeding. I guess my stubbornness was starting to win out. But I never really felt it was the right way to proceed. So thanks, you're right; I need to at least give him a chance. But I think I'll wait another week or so. Let the boy stew in his own juices. If he has any juices. But I'll give him a chance. Maybe I'll set up a few short meetings where he can show me how he thinks a real boyfriend ought to behave."

Penny gave a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Thanks for listening. And thanks for giving Sheldon an opportunity."

The two women chatted a bit more, then Amy left. Penny went back to the bedroom, entering it slowly. Leonard could see that she was exhausted from her talk with Amy.

"Do you want to tell me about it, or are you too tired?"

"Not much to tell," Penny said wearily. "She is willing to give him a chance. But on her terms. Sheldon's going to have to really watch himself. I think you should talk to him very seriously about what he has to do to act like a real boyfriend. I think Amy has the idea of starting by going on some short dates to see how he behaves. "

"Sort of like our beta test," Leonard said smiling, remembering.

"And hopefully with similar results. Just so long as he doesn't propose to her the first time they have sex."

"That might be a while. Anyway, it worked for me, didn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Penny asked.

"Well, we're getting married, aren't we? You see, I planted the seed and it grew."

"Not sure I like that particular metaphor, in that particular context, but I'll give it to you because you're an invalid. A sexual invalid, at that."

Leonard laughed. "Just you wait."

Penny lay down on the bed. "Ready for bed? I'm beat."

"No talk tonight?" Leonard said, trying to hide his disappointment.

"Yes, talk. I just meant that we could go to bed now even though it's barely 9 o'clock."

"Oh. I lose track of time in here. Sure, I'm tired enough."

As Penny arranged the bed for their evening Momentum Conversation, she steeled herself. She had had one difficult discussion today. Now she was going to have another, much more difficult one. But she was intent on following through with it. It was crucially important to her, and she didn't feel she could wait any longer. She lay facing Leonard and inhaled deeply to gather her courage. She could feel his soft breath on her face, with the hint of a wheeze remaining.

"Let's talk." She swallowed hard and resolved to follow her script. It was a little corny, and maybe a little indirect, but she hadn't been able to think of any other way to start the conversation she wanted to have. "Leonard Hofstadter, what do you think is the right age for a man to have children?"

Leonard looked at her, but answered quickly. "Thirty-six." She hadn't expected that.

"You're 36."

"I know. Thirty-six."

Penny looked at him wide-eyed. He smiled and said to her, "And, if I can defy the rules here, what do you think is the right age for a woman to have children?"

Penny stared at Leonard and gulped. "Thirty."

"You're 30."

"I know. Thirty."

The two lovebirds looked at each other, smiling. They both knew exactly what they were talking about.

Penny broke the silence. "Don't you think you should make an honest woman of me first?"

"Oh, it's much too late for that," Leonard said breezily.

She stuck out her tongue. "But a girl wants to know she's special."

"This girl doesn't know she's special?" Leonard asked innocently.

"She does. But sometimes the right legal documents can make a girl feel even more special. Like," she said, smiling wickedly, "when she finds out that her boyfriend has made her his beneficiary."

"Not boyfriend, fiancé. And you signed the form. If you didn't want my money, all you had to do was refuse to sign."

"I want a lot more than your money, mister."

"Doctor to you, lady."

"OK. Say, doctor, there's a little hole in my heart here that I'm worried about."

"Well," Leonard said, "I'm not that kind of a doctor, but tell me about it."

"It's a hole that can only be filled by a certain young man."

"I'm given to believe that the young man in question is quite good at filling your hole."

"You're disgusting!" Penny said, laughing. "Here we're having the most romantic conversation ever and all you think about is sex!"

"Well, how do _you_ think babies get made?" Leonard kidded. Then he got serious. "That's not all I think about. Hardly. Penny, I want us to get married. Soon. And I want to start a family. Also soon. I've been wanting to talk to you about it all week. I was worried that you might think I wasn't taking your job, or your acting career, seriously. And I want you to know that I do take them seriously. I have flexibility; I can take time off so that you can work. We'll find a way. But I want a family with you. Soon."

Penny's eyes were wet with tears. "And I've been scared to talk to you about it all week, too. After I talked to my parents. And especially during Michael's visit, and hearing all about you as a child. I want us to make another perfect child, another Leonard."

"Another Penny," Leonard corrected her.

They stared into each other's eyes. Leonard caressed Penny's cheeks, wiping away the tears. "Just one thing. I'm not going to Las Vegas."

"You got it. And," she remembered, "we have to invite Teresa Lopez and her husband."

"Who?" Leonard asked, confused.

"She's the police officer in Barstow I told you about. I promised. And I want her there."

"Fine. So maybe we'll need to relax the two-friends-apiece rule. Maybe all our friends, and that police officer, and your parents, and my brother and sister. Anyone else?"

"I don't think anyone else from my family could come," Penny said. Cautiously, she asked, "What about yours?"

"I've decided not to invite Mother. And Father is still in Uganda. So no."

Penny thought. "Maybe my father will pay for it. I can ask him this weekend. I think I've got him pretty softened up."

"Deal." Leonard said. Penny could see that he was again exhausted, as was she. But she needed to hug Leonard. She rearranged the pillows, and positioned herself carefully at his side, then gently put one arm under him, being careful of the rib cage. Leonard couldn't move much, but the warmth in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

"Let's talk," she said. "Leonard Hofstadter, do you love me?"

"Forever. And ever. And ever. Literally, not figuratively," he said softly.

She sighed contentedly, extricated herself, settled Leonard into bed for the night, and lay next to him.

Penny looked up at the ceiling. She remembered being in bed looking up at the ceiling about ten days before, in the Barstow Inn. It seemed like something in the distant past. Ten days ago, when she looked up at the cracked ceiling of that misbegotten motel, she was so angry that she wasn't sure what her future would look like, and whether Leonard would be in it.

Now it was just ten days later, give or take a few hours. Now she was more sure than she had ever been of what her future would look like, and that Leonard would always be in it. Now the future was clear, and bright, and glorious.

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 **A/N Thanks to all those who have reviewed, favorited, and followed this. All your comments are greatly appreciated. This seems to me a good stopping point. I realize that there are many possibilities for further development in this story, but for now I am going to have to leave it in order to catch up with other commitments (i.e. life). I do hope to get back to it eventually. Thanks again for your readership and support.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N This is actually the first chapter of Part 2 of this story. I am posting it as an update so that those following Part 1 will be able to move on to the continuation. One little note: if it were not logistically a pain, I would divide this story into three parts: chapters 1-16 of this story would be Part 1: Action; chapters 17-23 would be Part 2: Reaction; and this chapter would be the beginning of Part 3: Recovery. Just wanted to get that on the record, for artistic (?) purposes. In any case, further chapters will be posted under The Momentum Conservation Part 2: Recovery. Thanks, as always, for reading.**

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Penny lay awake in bed, remembering the conversation of the previous evening. Momentum, she thought; and momentous. Were the words related, she wondered? But she saw the way clear now: they would be married, and soon. And they both wanted to start a family, also soon. Wow. She shook her head in wonder, and smiled in quiet delight, as she got out of bed silently so as not to wake Leonard. She wandered down to the bathroom and then to the kitchen.

Sheldon was sitting on the couch, reading; Penny started in surprise to see him – he usually left with Raj for work by 7.30 and it was now after 8. "Sheldon, you're here! Is everything all right?"

"Yes, I decided to take the bus today. How are you?"

"Just fine," Penny said cautiously. She knew from experience that there had to be a reason for the change in routine. But she wanted to ask him something anyway. "Sheldon, I have a question for you. You know so much about everything, I figured you were the right one to ask." More flies with honey, she thought.

Sheldon smiled: "Ask away."

"Well, I just read _Wuthering Heights_ and I really liked it."

Sheldon interrupted, "Ugh. That sentimental claptrap? Well, I guess it takes all kinds…."

"Whatever. I liked it. Maybe it's a girl thing. Anyway, I want to read something else that's similar. What would you suggest?"

"As I say," Sheldon continued, pedantically, "I regard it as sentimental claptrap. But there are certainly similar novels. The obvious place to start would be with _Jane Eyre_."

"Who's she?"

"Not who," Sheldon said impatiently, "what. It's a novel by Emily Brontë's sister, Charlotte. Same general idea. Those who like the genre argue about which is better between the two novels, so if you liked one you'll probably like the other."

"Oh. OK. Thanks!" She waited for Sheldon to tell her why he was really there. She didn't have to wait long.

"Penny, actually I stayed here to talk to you. By the way, I see you've been getting up earlier, which I have to say is a pleasant and welcome surprise. Anyway, I wanted to ask you about the situation between Amy and me. I'm very puzzled about her intentions. I thought we were an excellent couple, an opinion confirmed by objective tests; but apparently she does not agree. Can you tell me what her problem is?"

"That's not for me to say, Sheldon. I think you two have to talk about it between yourselves. I know Amy is not willing to talk to you yet, but I think she will eventually. And when you two do talk, I think it's important for you to listen to what she has to say."

"OK," Sheldon said, "but this implies that she should listen to what I have to say, too. It's inappropriate for her to cut off communication and then expect to be the only one communicating."

"Well, you know what they say: all's fair in love and war. It's not about what's fair, it's about her feelings."

"What about my feelings?" Sheldon said, starting to get angry. "I have feelings, too!"

After making the obvious crack to herself, Penny said, out loud, "Of course you do. But sometimes you may not be that good at expressing them. It would probably help if Amy had more of an idea of what's going on inside you."

Sheldon sat, clearly thinking about something. "I wasn't going to do this," he said finally, "but I can't see any reason not to. When all this began I started writing down my thoughts in a log. I only did it for a couple of days, until you two came home. But I wonder if you can read it and tell me if this is the kind of information that might help Amy understand why she's making a big mistake?"

It was all Penny could do to keep from responding – it seemed Sheldon still was putting all of the blame on Amy – but she did want to see the log, and she did also want to help her friends. "I'd be happy to read it, sweetie. Where is it?"

The lanky physicist walked over to his desk, picked up his laptop and brought it over to Penny at the kitchen high-top. He opened a file and, wordlessly, put the laptop in front of Penny. She read:

 _Sunday_ _. Two days ago Amy Farrah Fowler (henceforth AFF) informed me that she felt she needed to take a break from our relationship. The following day, I received a text from Penny about an incident they had experienced on their way to Las Vegas. The text was vague, but it was easy to infer that Leonard had been seriously injured. Today I find myself in an unaccustomed emotional state. I am unable to focus on my work, as my mind wanders incessantly. This log is an attempt to arrive at an understanding of my state of mind: its causes, effects, and implications. I recognize that emotional insight is not my strong point – and if I did not, I certainly would know it, as AFF has pointed this out to me more times than I care to remember – however, I feel a need to arrive at a more complete comprehension of the situation._

 _The catalyst is clear: the three people closest to me have, in various ways, abandoned me. AFF's actions are the clearest type of abandonment. Indeed, I regard them as close to a betrayal. After years of encouraging me to be open about my feelings, she has suddenly decided to shut off all communication. This strikes me as completely unacceptable and, moreover, very unfair to me._

 _The situation with Leonard is different, of course. I do not really know what happened to him but it certainly does not appear to have been intentional, other than the obvious point that they could have planned their wedding more appropriately, and he could have taken better care of his car so that it would not have broken down, leaving them open to whatever attack later transpired. Leaving that aside, I do understand that Leonard and Penny's absence is not intentional. Nonetheless, the fact that they are not here is, I believe a part of my distress. Leonard has always been my principal confidant when it comes to issues that arise with Amy, and Penny has often served in something of a supporting role. I do respect their opinions about my social interactions, inasmuch as I have come to recognize that my views and behavior in this regard are in the tail of any population distribution._

 _With this in mind, I will analyze my emotional state with regard to recent events. Central to this is Amy's sudden and unexpected announcement that she was "taking a break," from our relationship – an ambiguous concept if ever there was one, but nonetheless one whose central meaning is quite clear._

 _In this regard, I find myself torn. For the past several years I had developed a what I thought was an internally consistent understanding of my relationship with AFF. We began as friends. Over time our social interactions revealed a commonality of interest and enthusiasms that suggested general compatibility. It became clear roughly three years ago that AFF was desirous of traditional forms of intimacy. My own views on this are undoubtedly affected by my psycho-emotional peculiarities, of which I am well aware. I do recognize that my general tendency to avoid physical contact is outside normal ranges, although I do not regard the tendency as pathological or even particularly troubling. However, I realize that for AFF this restricted the enjoyment of our relationship. As a result, I made an effort to overcome my reticence and engage in some form of physical intimacy. I did discover that kissing could be pleasurable._

 _An additional part of the general evolution of my understanding of pair-bonding relationships was a recognition of the almost undeniable existence of the elusive notion of romantic love. Although the psychological content of this concept remains unclear to me, it is impossible for me to deny that I have had feelings for Amy that could not otherwise be explained without recourse to the notion of love._

 _But this leads to another aspect of my reaction to the situation. In the context of a relationship that I felt it was based on mutual understanding, it is hard for me to see a legitimate reason for AFF to separate, even if this is only temporary. I do understand that she would like to see changes in aspects of my personality that stand in the way of her satisfaction, and that may impede her ability to realize certain desires – by which I mean not only carnal desires but other desires associated with an intimate relationship. However, over the years I had come to think and expect that she would be sensitive to my makeup, and to my own needs, and would be able to adapt her expectations accordingly._

 _This appears to have been a mistake. It is conceivable, of course, that upon reflection in this temporary break AFF will determine that the benefits of our relationship outweigh the costs. However, the mere fact that she needs to "take a break," presumably to reconsider the costs and benefits, is troubling to me. It is especially troubling that she appears not to have accounted accurately for the many positive features of our relationship, and for the great benefits she has realized from associating with me. I had always felt that she appreciated me and my contributions; now it appears that I may have been mistaken. As I consider the implications more fully – in particular, her apparent disregard for the assistance I have given her over the years – her behavior is beginning to anger me._

 _Monday_ _. I had a difficult conversation with Penny today by video-chat. She did not give me details of events in Barstow but it became clear over the course of the conversation that Leonard was much more seriously injured than I had thought. Apparently the injuries were life-threatening, although he is currently out of danger. I will admit that my conversation with Penny affected me more than I had anticipated. I was already emotionally distraught when we spoke – in fact I had not been able to update this diary all day, as I had been unable to concentrate on much other than attempting to deconstruct the meaning of AFF's words to me, and the appropriate reactions to them._

 _Penny was her usual emotional self. But there was a tone of seriousness to what she said to me that caught me off guard and that indicated to me, even before she said anything, that Leonard may have been close to death. The prospect of this disrupted my thinking further. I had never really contemplated the possibility that Leonard would not be available to me as friend and confidant. Indeed, the prospect of his moving across the hall was difficult for me to accept. Thinking about his death gave me great pause. I found the resulting interaction upsetting, involving a dramatic upheaval in previously predictable social relations._

 _I had resolved before our video chat that I would attempt to control my emotions, and to respond in a socially appropriate way to whatever Penny wanted to talk about. This was not easy. She began by telling me quite emphatically that she would be staying with Leonard to care for him. This of course was the sort of revelation that caused me distress last summer. However, as she said, the circumstances were extenuating. She did offer to have the two of them stay in her apartment, but I felt that it would be more appropriate to offer them the opportunity to stay in Leonard's. I also agreed to abide by a series of other demands that Penny made. I recognize that they were not unreasonable, if in fact his condition is as severe as she has led me to believe. Nonetheless, it was not easy for me to accede to these requests._

 _Towards the end of the conversation I became quite emotional. This was principally the continuation of my distress about the situation with AFF, but as I had not mentioned this to Penny I carried on as if it were about what had happened to the two of them – which was not entirely inaccurate. I do not think it appropriate for me to engage Leonard and Penny in conversations about my difficulties with AFF, at least until I have formulated a course of action on my own. However, this may be difficult, especially as in the past talking with Leonard and Penny has facilitated my understanding of the psycho-emotional issues at stake._

 _Monday evening. It is now midnight and I have been unable to sleep. I have played over in my mind a series of interactions between AFF and me, in an attempt to understand the source of her dissatisfaction. I do understand now that AFF construed my interruption of our fifth-anniversary kiss-fest with a question about The Flash television show as a lack of interest in and attention to her. It was certainly not intended as such: the issue was important to me, and I value her input. Nonetheless, the misunderstanding is now clear to me. I am having more trouble with other interactions that appear to have been cause for dissatisfaction, and I feel that Leonard and Penny will be able to provide insights that I cannot entirely capture._

 _I have in any event resolved that my relationship with AFF is important to me. This means that I should exert effort to attempt to keep the relationship active. However, this faces the apparent fact that part of AAF's concern is that she believes that I do not care sufficiently about our relationship. I need somehow to find a way to indicate to her that I do very much want us to be together._

 _However, I am also angered by AAF's treatment of me. She has behaved as if I were a common suitor, obligated to obey trivial norms of politesse and emotional massage. This is not in my nature, and I resent the implication that I should be forced to alter my very nature in order to satisfy another individual – especially one who, although intelligent, is clearly not at my intellectual level._

 _At the same time, it is hard for me to imagine my life without AFF in it. And I am coming to grips with the fact that this will require sacrifices on my part. The benefits of our relationship are great; the costs to me of making the compromises and concessions necessary to sustain it are also great, but I believe they are worth it._

 _I do not know how I can possibly address these issues if AFF refuses to speak to me. And her refusal to do so is definitely inappropriate and unfair. She seems intent on gaining advantage in our relationship, and this makes me extremely uncomfortable. It has always been clear who has been the intellectual leader between us, and I see no reason to alter this component of our relationship. If AFF would like to reconsider other aspects, I am open to that possibility. But to simply shut off communication is childish._

 _Tuesday_ _. Leonard is coming home today. I feel that I need to talk to him about the current turn of events. I understand from Penny that he has trouble speaking above a whisper, but that is not a major issue. I do think that he would be able to give me some insight into why AFF has reacted with such hostility to me. I do understand that I have done things to anger her, but I cannot imagine what might have provoked so extreme a reaction on her part. It seems likely, given past experience, that Leonard would have an idea._

Penny looked up from the laptop. This was as much emotion as Sheldon had demonstrated in the previous five years combined, and she wanted to tread carefully. "Sheldon, I'm so sorry this has been so difficult for you," Penny said. "And I'm really sorry that we weren't here to help you get through a tough time. But we're here now."

"Thanks. I know you couldn't help it, but it made things very hard for me. Especially with Amy being so unreasonable. So do you agree with my analysis?"

Penny hesitated. "Look, this is really between you two. It's not about who's right or wrong, it's about what works. I don't think Amy is being hostile, as you put it, just out of spite. I think she's unhappy about some things. And if you want the relationship to work, you'll have to try to figure out what will make her happier. You'll have to figure that out together – it's not something you can just decide on your own. Do you see that?"

Sheldon bristled. "But what about my happiness? What gives her the right to make decisions that affect both of us without any consideration of my perspective? Look at you: you're waiting on Leonard hand and foot. Why should Amy suddenly decide that she's too good to worry about my well-being?"

Penny had to force herself not to respond in kind to Sheldon's outburst. She knew he was upset, and angry – and, generally, clueless. She tried to be helpful. "I know you're angry, and that's all right. You can tell Amy how you feel. But you also have to pay attention to how she feels. Both of you are entitled to your feelings."

"Well, why is she entitled to refuse to talk to me? That's not right."

"She needs time, Sheldon, time to think. Try to respect that. In fact, try to respect the fact that Amy is a strong, smart, woman who wants to be happy. There's nothing wrong with that. I think what you want to be trying to figure out is how you can help her be happy, not how she can make you happy. A relationship has to involve give and take."

Sheldon was getting increasingly agitated, "I've done nothing but give, give, give for five years. And then she decides on her own that it's not enough. That's wrong. And I resent your taking her side."

Penny blanched. "Sheldon, I'm not on anyone's side. I want you both to be happy. And believe me, I really want you two to be happy _together_. I'm just trying to give you some insights into what Amy's thinking and feeling. I'm sorry if you feel that's unfair, but seriously, if you really want to work things out with her, you're going to have to accept that her feelings are just as legitimate as yours."

Sheldon was silent, but his eyes flashed defiance. Finally he took back his laptop and walked over to his desk. He turned to Penny. "I appreciate your giving me the female point of view. It helps me round out my analysis. I have to go to work now. I'll see you this evening. I'm going to the comic book store but I thought I'd at least have dinner here, if you don't mind."

"Of course not, Sheldon. You don't have to ask; this is your apartment." Penny was startled by the bitterness of his tone.

"Oh, that's right, isn't it? See you for dinner." And he walked out the door.

Penny sank into the armchair, feeling defeated. She had tried to have a serious conversation with Sheldon, but it had just seemed to infuriate him. She needed to talk to Leonard about it, but he probably wouldn't be up for another couple of hours. In the meantime, she brought up the online text of _Jane Eyre_ and began to read.

Over lunch, she told Leonard about her conversation with Sheldon. The situation was worrisome. At some level, it seemed, Sheldon was in over his head: facing relationship demands that he might not be capable of meeting. But they knew he really cared about Amy, and didn't want to lose her.

"His pride is probably the main obstacle here," Leonard mused. "He just can't bring himself to admit that she might be right about something so central to their relationship. The question is, how can we help him see that he needs to compromise more than he has been, without his feeling like we're attacking him?"

"Based on my experience this morning," Penny sighed, "it won't be easy. Maybe you can try talking to him this evening? He's coming home for dinner before going to the comic book store."

That afternoon Penny was in the living room reading, and enjoying, the beginning of _Jane Eyre_ , when Leonard stumbled in, looking very shaky. "What are you doing up?" Penny demanded, slightly irritated. "You know you're not supposed to get out of bed by yourself." He had fallen once, and the doctor had given strict orders.

Leonard simply stood in the hallway and Penny immediately saw the now-familiar look of terror in his eyes. He had had another one of his daytime nightmares. She rushed to him. "I'm so sorry, honey. Did you have another nightmare?" She put her arms around him and led him to the armchair. "You're safe now. I'm sorry I yelled at you. Do you want to tell me about it?"

His hands were still shaking, she noticed as she held them. He shook his head a little. "Just a bad memory. This time I was looking everywhere but you weren't there. I could hear you calling for help but I couldn't find you," he murmured. "I'm sorry I got out of bed, but I had to find you."

"That's all right, I'm here now." Penny was starting to worry about these nightmares. This was now the fourth, and they did not seem to be fading in intensity. She was glad they were seeing the doctor the next day, so she could ask for advice. For now, she knew only that she wanted to bring Leonard back to a happier place. She hugged him close and kissed him softly.

After a few minutes his heartbeat was back to normal, so she reminded him of their conversation last night. "Honey, do you remember what we talked about last night? About getting married, and starting a family?"

"Sure," Leonard answered with a smile.

"It made me so happy to think about this morning. Not just because it's, you know, exciting, but because I really feel like we're so on the same page now. You know?" She asked, somewhat tentatively. In truth, she felt the need to confirm her feelings.

Leonard nodded with great certainty. "I do. I feel like we are really taking a big step forward, and we're really ready for it." He paused. "That raises an issue we've sort of been avoiding. What do we do about living arrangements? About Sheldon?"

Penny exhaled slowly. "I know. And he's so confused and stressed out right now. I can't imagine having a reasonable conversation about it until things are worked out with Amy. So maybe we just have to wait to talk to him. But we can still think about our own plans, can't we?"

Leonard was silent. "I'm a little tired of working so hard to adapt to Sheldon. It's been really great this past week to have _our_ needs come first. Of course, that won't last, but it gives me a taste of how life could be. I mean, we're adults now, not graduate students, and I think it might be time to insist to Sheldon that he act like an adult, too."

"Whoa, that's moving pretty fast. He _is_ your best friend, after all. And he's going through some hard times. So be nice. He's going to want to talk to you about Amy, and he really needs your advice."

Leonard sighed. "All right. But somehow it seems ridiculous that after what we've been through, we have to walk on eggshells around Sheldon."

They sat quietly for a few more moments, after which Leonard recommenced, more brightly, "I want to ask Dr. Sussman tomorrow if I can go out soon. I'm getting a little stir-crazy. You must be, too! Don't you want to go out and do something? I'll be fine alone. Or if you worry, I'm sure Howard or Raj would be willing to baby-sit me. You need to go do something fun, Penny. I worry about you being cooped up here with a boring invalid."

Penny looked at him and smiled. "I know you do. But this has been one of the nicest weeks of my life – I mean, leaving aside changing bandages and things like that. No work, just talking to you and reading. I'm happy here."

"All right, all right. But your parents are coming Saturday, and you _have_ to show them the town. You mom's never been to LA. So you have no choice. For at least one day you're going to need to find me a baby sitter. How about Sunday? Howard and Raj don't have to work, they could stand guard or whatever it is you think needs to be done when I'm here alone."

"I'll admit that makes sense. I'll talk to Howard. I would like my parents to see a little of LA, although they keep telling me that the only reason they're coming is to see us and help out."

She led Leonard back to the bedroom and they discussed more of their plans for Penny's parents' visit before Leonard starting nodding off. He was still only good for a couple of hours at a time before he got tired. Penny went back to reading her book, but this time by Leonard's bed. She didn't want to risk his waking up from another nightmare alone.

A few hours later, Penny heard Sheldon come into the apartment. Leonard had just woken up, so she warned him and then went out to the living room and announced that she was going to make him spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up into it – his comfort food. Sheldon was surprisingly unexcited. Penny nonetheless followed up on the plan she and Leonard had worked out: "Hey, can you do me a favor? Leonard's been lonely all day. Could you talk to him?"

"Hey, buddy!" Leonard said enthusiastically as Sheldon entered his bedroom. "It's been so long since we've had a chance to talk more than a few minutes. How are you doing?"

"Fine," Sheldon said, unconvincingly. "Actually, not so fine. I'm spending a lot of time thinking about this situation with Amy. It's distracting me from my work, and it bothers me."

"I can understand that. It must have been a shock when she told you she wanted to take a break, right?" Sheldon nodded. "What do you think brought that on?"

"I know the proximate cause – it was that incident about the Flash TV show, you know the one we talked about before you two went off to get married. But that hardly seems like enough to warrant this kind of hostility."

Leonard waited to see if Sheldon was going to take his thoughts any further, but his friend was quiet. "Umm…do you have any ideas about why she might feel the way she does?"

"How should I know?" Sheldon said with irritation. "She's refusing to talk to me."

"What about before that? Were there things you think she was unhappy about in your relationship?"

"No! Well, apart from the obvious, her obsession with physical intimacy. But I thought we'd reached agreement on that, about going slowly. Other than that, I thought things were fine."

"Do you think she maybe wanted to move faster, not just on physical intimacy but on other aspects? Like maybe spending more time together?"

"She never mentioned it," Sheldon said, again sounding irritated. "And she knows full well that any complaints can and should be raised in the appropriate venue. We had just had an annual review, and there wasn't anything serious that I could see."

Leonard wasn't sure where to go from here. Sheldon appeared totally baffled, and Leonard didn't want to be the one to force him to confront the fact that Amy clearly wanted more romance, more attention…just, more. But Leonard couldn't figure out how to get his friend to a more constructive place without a little prompting.

He tried again. "I know that when Penny's been unhappy with me, it's usually because she feels I'm not taking her feelings into account. Can you think of anything that Amy might have been feeling that might have benefited from more of your attention?"

Sheldon snapped, "Amy's not Penny. If she has feelings, she should tell me about them. I'm not a mind-reader. Maybe Penny can talk to Amy and find out what is really going on. Since Amy refuses to talk to me, I don't know what else I can do."

Leonard resigned himself to failure. "That could be a good plan. I'm sorry I can't help more, Sheldon. I wish I could. You know, I just want you to be happy and I really am sorry to see you unhappy."

Sheldon looked sharply at Leonard, once again. "I'm not unhappy. My happiness doesn't depend on anyone else, certainly not Amy. I'm just trying to understand where she and I stand."

"Oh, OK. I'm glad to hear that." Leonard gave up. "But anytime you want to talk, I want you to know that I'm here. Actually, I don't have much choice these days – I'm always here." No reaction. Sigh, again. "Come see me anytime, Sheldon. I miss talking to you."

"Penny's making me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up into it. I should go eat." And Sheldon got up and left the room, leaving Leonard shaking his head.

Later that evening, as they prepared for bed, Leonard reported on his conversation and asked Penny about dinner. "He didn't say a word. And he looked angry. Barely thanked me for dinner and then went out with Raj to the comic book store. I didn't see even see him when he got home; I think he's been locked in his room. What a mess."

"I know," Leonard shook his head sadly. "But there's little enough we can do. How about our little talk? And something that's not about Sheldon, please…."

"OK, then. Let's talk. Leonard Hofstadter, where do you see us in ten years' time?"

"Still thinking about last night's conversation, huh? All right, let's do this. I see us in a small house in Altadena. And two kids, a boy and a girl. And you're making your next movie but it's here in LA because your contract specifies that you can't be away from your family for more than a week at a time. And I have tenure at Caltech and lasers are just so 2015, so I'm working on something that hasn't been invented yet. And I get home from work first but the kids are already home with the baby-sitter, and I read the boy's homework and look at the girl's drawings and figure out what to make for dinner because you promised to be home by 7. How does that sound?"

Penny was smiling broadly. "You've got it all worked out, don't you? It sounds like something out of the 1950s. But it does sound wonderful. I'll have to remember to put that clause in my contracts. Just one thing," her eyes narrowed, "who's this baby sitter?"

"Oh," Leonard hastened to clarify, "she's a 63 year old Ukrainian woman who's wonderful with the kids and brings us lots of home-cooked food."

"Quick thinking, mister. Anyway, I do love the way you think. And I do love you."

"Me too. But I think we have to start practicing to produce those two kids, don't you?"

"Ha! Any more practice and I think we'd be perfect, and who'd want that? But you drive a hard bargain."

"So to speak," Leonard replied with a wicked grin as Penny turned off the light.

* * *

 **A/N Again, future chapters will be posted under The Momentum Conservation Part 2: Recovery. Thanks, as always, for reading.**


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